


confusion

by sunsetstanley



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Bisexual Richie Tozier, Child Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad Richie Tozier, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Soft Richie Tozier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-06-21 22:40:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 46,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15567924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetstanley/pseuds/sunsetstanley
Summary: "I really convinced myself they'd be mad Eds," Richie looked down at the other 5 losers swimming around below them."And I told you they wouldn't be.""Were you not scared though, on Friday?""Obviously idiot. But me freaking out as well as you freaking out would've been a nightmare.""Probably quite amusing for the others though; Trashmouth and Spaghetti man both hyperventilating on an airbed after sucking face."





	1. confused

Richie Tozier had dealt with a lot of shit. But nothing like this.

 

This was a wrong, sick feeling.

 

Eddie wasn't meant to have that effect on him- but his Eds did.

 

And it left Richie Tozier very, very confused.

*

It was lunch time and the losers were sat at their usual spot outside. In the past few months the group had gone up in numbers- what was originally Richie, Eddie, Bill and Stan was now Richie, Eddie, Bill and Stan as well as Bev, Mike and Ben. Mike was new to the school and only really knew Ben. And Beverly never really had a group of friends- she got along with people but the hundreds of rumors circulating about her made people less willing to talk to her. Stan and Mike were partnered together for an English project, and Beverly befriended Ben in all the chaos that was her life. Which lead to all 7 of them becoming close friends.

Richie was sitting between Bill and Bev, Mike and Stan were next to Bill and Bev and Ben were flirting like there was no tomorrow. Eddie was between Stan and Ben- eating his sandwich that was cut into triangles with the crusts cut off despite him being 15 years old. Richie as always was loud and obnoxious- making jokes at any and every opportunity, but for some reason couldn't keep his eyes off Eddie today. Richie has always has a soft spot for Eddie- how couldn't he? His Eds was so small and precious and Richie almost felt the need to protect him. He would never tell Eddie that directly- obviously. Eddie hated anyone referencing his size even if it was in a positive way. Richie still called Eds cute and would sling his arms over his shoulders in a protective and friendly way- but that was only because friends tease each other and Richie and Eddie were friends- very close friends.

"R-Richie whats k-keeping y-you so-so quiet? Normally we c-can't keep your tr-trashmouth shut?" Bill asked, looking at Richie skeptically. Richie realised he'd been looking at Eddie for just to long and quickly snapped out of his trance.

"Oh you know, just thinking about the stuff I did with your mother last night," Richie replied, earning a chuckle from the group and a hit in the shoulder from Bill.

"We were talking about having a movie night and sleepover at Bills tonight as it's Friday, are you able to come?" Ben asked, with everyone else waiting for his answer.

"Uhh.. yeah sounds good," Richie answered, he had nothing else to do and his parents weren't even guaranteed to be home.

"Guys can we not watch a scary movie like last time though? I really didn't like it," Eddie chimed in, sounding a little embarrassed.

"Ahh don't you worry your little head my good fellow," Richie boomed in one of his worst accents, "I shall protect you against any harm you may face!"

"Richie shut up- I don't need protecting. And I'm being serious."

"It's fine, we'll all choose together," Mike joined in- preventing Richie from carrying on with his accent.

"Yeah we can all bring like 2 or 3 DVDs we wouldn't mind watching and then as a group decide maybe?" Beverly suggested

"That's a good idea!" Ben agreed a bit to quickly.

"That wouldn't work though," Stan chimed in, "Everyone would just vote for their movies and no one would agree."

"Stan, my man. Why'd yah always got to be so negative," Richie jokingly groaned, flailing his arms dramatically in the process.

"I'm just pointing out that theoretically it wouldn't work-"

"Theoretically blah, blah, blah," Richie interrupted, "Stanley, Stan, Stan the Man. We have all night so don't you worry."

"I just don't think it will work and we should pick some movies now- and shut the fuck up with those nicknames."

"G-guys w-w-why do-n't we j-just d-do what Bev s-suggested so w-we don't h-have t-t-to worry ab-about it now?" Bill asked, trying to stop Stan actually getting annoyed with Richie. Stan sighed and eventually agreed to Bev's plan- each loser would bring a couple movies and then together they'd choose a few to watch later that evening.

It wasn't much longer before lunch was finished, the group gathered their garbage and started heading towards their lessons. Richie had biology with Eddie next- which was one of his favorite lessons. He was good at it when he wanted to be (although that was the case with most subjects, he'd act the clown and people probably assumed he wasn't great. But outside of school he'd study and put the work in and typically get A's and B's) and in biology he was just with Eds. This lead to Richie being unbearably annoying, but Eddie didn't really mind it at the end of the day. It was just Richie being Richie.

Today they had to dissect frogs, Eddie didn't seem too pleased by the idea but would end up doing most the work anyway. Sometimes Richie would feel bad for being a dick to Eddie- but Eddie was extremely cute when he got agitated and annoyed so it was worth it. Richie also knew Eddie was never truly annoyed with him and knew Richie was only joking- some things did annoy him slightly like the nicknames, but someone so special deserves a nickname. It's not Richie's fault Eddie doesn't like them. And if Richie truly annoyed Eddie, Eddie would tell him. They were best friends. Always had been and always will be. And best friends are allowed to tease each other and be annoyed at each other jokingly. That's what best friends were for. Richie suddenly realized he'd been looking at Eddie again, similar to at lunch time. Despite working together in every practical, the seating plan had Richie and Eddie on completely separate tables. Richie had asked to move in the spare seat next to Eddie many times but always got the response "And what makes you think you deserve special treatment Richard?" it was annoying but a lot of the time they were doing practicals anyway- so it didn't bother Richie too much. Eventually after 15 minutes of the boring explanation on how to dissect a frog the teacher has finished explaining the practical, and the students were told to partner up and and start working at one of the stations that were all ready set up.

"Eddie Spaghetti, my favorite biology partner- lets get right to work my good fellow!" Richie enthusiastically said whilst approaching Eddie

"Don't call me that trashmouth- and you know fair well I'll do most of the work."

"Really? My precious Eds is volunteering to dissect a frog for me?" Richie replied whilst dramatically putting his hands on his chest.

"Don't call me Eds either- and I'm only volunteering because you're too lazy to do anything," Eddie snapped, pretending to be annoyed as he jokingly slapped Richie's arm.

"Ow," RIchie shouted a bit too loudly, "First you call me a trashmouth, then lazy and then you assault me? This is just rude!"

Eddie signed before saying, "You ARE a lazy trashmouth- and honestly deserved a harder slap."

Richie laughed a little before leaning up to Eddie's ear and whispering "oh getting kinky are we Eds?" which only earned him another light slap.

The rest of biology carried on the same, Eddie doing most of the work and Richie taking some notes here and there. Richie and Eddie continued joking with each other as they always have, except the more they spoke and joked the more Richie noticed about Eddie. Like how his nose crinkles when he laughs and the freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks. The way his ears and cheeks would go pink when flustered or slightly embarrassed. Things Richie never noticed before, small details that couldn't stop Richie from smiling. At certain points it confused Richie but he just had to remind himself they were best friends. Best friends appreciated the small things about each other and would take time to focus on each other. Richie just didn't notice things with the other losers because him and Eddie had been friends for longer and were closer than Richie was with the others. Best Friends were meant to appreciate each other in that way. So Richie was Just being a good friend.

Biology ended too quickly for Richie's liking. Biology, Physics and Calculus were the only lessons just him and Eddie had together, there were other lessons he had with Eddie that another loser was in. But he still favored Biology, Physics and Calculus. Richie's next lesson was social studies. He had Beverly- so he wasn't alone. But he'd miss Eds. It was only an hour though, and he'd get to walk home with Eddie and then watch movies with the losers all night. So an hour of social studies wouldn't kill him- but he still didn't want to go. Him and Eddie left biology together, still talking about whatever before Eddie turned to go to English and Richie carried on to his social studies room. Thankfully his social studies teacher was nicer than his biology teacher and everyone got to choose where they sat, meaning Richie sat next to Bev at the back. The two of them would normally speak for most the lesson because social studies is boring as shit- however, similar to lunch Richie felt himself thinking about Eddie again. It'd been happening more and more recently, Richie didn't question it because he assumed it wasn't anything. It wasn't weird when he looked at Eddie's eyes or hair or lips too long. It wasn't weird that earlier he thought Eddie looked cute in his red short shorts. It's was a friendly thing to appreciate Eddie's cute mannerisms- like how he'll use his hands when he speaks or how he sits when eating his lunch. But the more Richie thought about it the more weird it seemed and the more weird it seemed the more Richie thought about Eddie. 

"Bev," Richie said bluntly

"..Yes?" Beverly asked, sounding slightly confused

"Do you ever just think about someone," Richie started- not knowing quite what to say, "Like..you just find yourself appreciating them more. Or like- noticing things about them, I don't know."

Beverly started laughing, "Like a crush?" She asked between laughs. Richie felt himself going red- no it wasn't a crush. It couldn't be a crush. Eddie was his friend- his best friend. And a boy, Richie wasn't gay- he knew that- he'd had pointless crushes on girls before. He knew what a crush was.

"No. Like in a friendly way."

"What do you mean by 'notice' and 'appreciate' them?" Beverly asked, sounding slightly intrigued at the idea of Richie having a crush

"I don't know.. like his freckles or his eyes.. Or how he speaks- just things, y'know?" Richie didn't realize what he said until Beverly pulled a shocked expression, "Who's 'he'?" she questioned- smirking a bit.

"What?" Richie asked, pretending to be confused. He could feel himself going red.

"Look at you," Bev chuckled a bit, "This is the least like you you've ever been. Where has my trashmouth gone? Just tell me who he is- I won't tell anyone about your crush."

"It.. It's not a crush. I'm not gay."

"you don't just 'notice' people's freckles and eyes and voice Richie, look I just want to know. I won't tell anyone else."

"It's also not a crush because you don't get crushes on friends." Richie was really embarrassed now- it's not that he didn't trust Bev, it's just he wished she'd stop calling it a crush. It wasn't a crush.

"Richie hun, I've had a crush on Ben for the past 2 months and he's one of my best friends. Now you have to tell me."

"Wait what- oh my god I knew it! I bet Bill $10 you and Ben would get together!"

"We're not 'getting together' and stop trying to change the subject," Beverly was now slightly pink too after admitting her crush on Ben.

"Eds." Richie said quietly, looking at the floor, "But it's not a crush Bev- I'm not gay."

Beverly laughed a little before replying, "You don't have to be gay to like dudes Richie."

"I don't have a crush on Eds"

"Sure thing hun."

The rest of the lesson was quiet after that- what did Beverly mean you didn't have to be gay to like dudes? That's what being gay was. Richie knew he was straight, last year he had a crush on Rebecca. And a couple years before that was Jessica. There was countless more before that too. But Eddie was adorable... The way his freckles were sprinkled over his cheeks, the way he'd smile at Richie's jokes. Or the way he'd get annoyed and jokingly slap Richie- even the stupid polos and short shorts he'd wear were cute. But Richie wasn't gay. Like at all.

 

*

 

Richie met Eddie at his locker like he did everyday after school, Their lockers weren't that far away and meeting Eddie meant they wouldn't have to walk to the front alone, or in Richie's case with Bev and Ben desperately flirting as Ben's class was next to their social studies. After Beverly accused Richie of having a crush on Eddie he couldn't get it out his mind. Richie knew it wasn't a crush but at the same time the more he thought about it the more sense it made. Richie didn't notice small things about Mike or Ben- or Bev. Or even Bill and Stan who he'd known for basically just as long as Eddie. But even if it was a crush he shouldn't have one, yes it was more accepted now to be gay and everyone was tweeting about #loveislove but people at school... And Richie's bullshit excuse of a dad and barely functioning mother would completely disregard him as a person if he was gay. And Eddie- Eddie would hate him and not want anything to do with him. Sure people called Eds a faggot and other bullshit names. But he wasn't actually gay they're just easy insults.

"Hey Rich, you okay?" Richie had completely forgot he was waiting for Eddie, "You look really pale..."

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Feeling great!" Richie replied, forcing a smile.

"Are you sure," Eds had a face of pure concern- and Richie knew that Eddie could tell he was faking a smile, "You can talk to me if something is wrong. You've been quiet all day."

"It's uhh... Just y'know- shit at home and other stuff.."

Eddie frowned a little before rubbing Richie's shoulder lightly, "Okay, well please know if you need to you can talk to me- or any of the losers. But I'll uhh... I'm always here."

"Yeah, yeah," Richie muttered as they started to make their way near the front. As they approached the other 5 losers Richie stood taller and forced a smile, he wasn't completely lying to Eddie. Shit at home had been harder lately, so that on top of whatever these new found feelings were weren't leaving him feeling the best about himself. Richie was one of those people who seemed quite confident- not popular jock confident, as he was still relentlessly picked on by his school mates like all the losers. But he seemed comfortable in his skin and happy. However, Richie was his own worst enemy. He was a good actor, so most of his confidence was fake, his happiness forced and his problems and worries were kept in the back of his mind. He mainly spoke to Bev about shit- and even that was rare. He'd speak to Eds about it but Eddie has so much shit if his own going on, Richie had experienced the wonder of Sonia Kaspbrak first hand a year ago when she found Richie in Eddie's room with him. Richie had snuck in the window to hang out after texting Eds about feeling like shit because of his bullshit excuse of parents. Apparently Sonia didn't appreciate a "Dirty boy" in "Eddie-Bear's" room at 10pm. Richie was screamed at to leave and he was convinced he saw Eddie start to cry. After he was kicked out he stood out front for 10 or so minutes listening to Eddie be lectured and screamed at for going against Sonia and how she's protecting him before it made him feel really bad for texting Eddie in the first place and leaving. After that Richie decided Eddie goes through too much shit of his own, and therefore shouldn't have to deal with Richie's shit too.

As the group started walking home they discussed the plans for the movie night. It was to be held at Bill's and everyone had to bring 1 or 2 movies so they'd have 7-14 to choose from. Ben lived closest to the store in Derry so he was going to get snacks and Bev was going to bring a speaker in case they wanted to listen to music. Richie also volunteered to bring some food and Eddie said he'd try his hardest to convince his mom to let him come at all. As Mike lived further away than the rest Bill offered to just lend him some blankets and clothes to sleep in and he could just go straight to Bills's. After they finalized what was going to happen they all walked their own ways to gather their stuff. Richie and Eddie lived in the same area of town, meaning yet again they were alone together. Richie stayed pretty quiet. It felt weird as he wasn't constantly talking but he needed to think.

"You know we're going to need to reappoint the name trashmouth at this rate." Eddie said jokingly

"Sorry," was all Richie could say.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I feel like horse shit. And I'm meant to be the happy go lucky trashmouth."

Richie felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to see Eddie looking at him looking way too sad about Richie's. Eddie was the was the one in the group who knew the most about Richie's parents. All of them had the idea the family wasn't perfect but he'd told Eddie the most, despite recently confiding in Beverly. Eddie still only knew a small amount, but he had a general idea. Richie was definitely confused with how he felt towards Eddie- but his core problems were always Went and Maggie. He refused to call them Mom and Dad. Ever. Richie had already told Eddie about Maggie's drinking problem and how Went couldn't care less about him. But he didn't tell Eddie about how Went would sometimes lock him in his room or scream at him for nothing or how Maggie would forget to cook him dinner or slap Richie across the face for being a 'disrespectful little shit' after Richie didn't say hello when he got home because Eddie shouldn't have to deal with those problems. They were Richie's problems that Richie should deal with.

"Look please talk to me Rich, before we go to Bills? I'm worried about you."

Richie felt himself going red. He wasn't meant to go red when his friend was worried and care for him. Shit.

"Rich?"

"Oh Eddie Spaghetti- always worrying about me, I'm flattered."

"Richie I'm being serious." 

"I can handle it, don't worry Eds."

"Richie, no offence, but you've looked like shit all day."

"It's just fucking Wentworth being a piece of shit... And I'm just worried and confused about this other thing- but that's not a huge deal."

"Oh, that makes sense. What did he do this time- if you don't mind me asking?"

"The usual. Like uhh... yeah. The usual."

"Just know you can talk to me- okay?"

"Yeah, I know."


	2. friends don't hug like that

After Eddie went to his house to gather his things and desperately try to convince Sonia to let him go to Bill's, Richie was by himself for the 5-minute walk to his house. He didn't really want to go there- Wentworth wouldn't be there but Maggie would be. In an ideal world neither parent would be home and Richie could just live by himself. it would definitely be better for Richie. Maggie does jack shit anyway and Wentworth just screams at Richie for any little thing he does slightly wrong.

He got at his house at 3.34 and Maggie was already passed out on the couch. Fucking alcoholic bitch. Wentworth wouldn't be home for a while yet, so Richie would easily be able to grab his things and leave. He first went to the DVD cabinet and had a look, normally he'd just use netflix but the group insisted on DVDs. There wasn't much there besides shitty rom-coms Maggie watched during the day and weird animal documentaries. Maybe he just wouldn't bring any movies, it would be easier to decide on what to watch that way. Richie then went upstairs and to him room which was a mess, or a cluster-fuck as Wentworth would call it when screaming at Richie for God knows what. There were clothes covering the floor and every surface in the room was covered in cheap energy drink and soda cans and candy wrappers. Eating candy for dinner wasn't healthy by any means, but in Richie's mind it was better than not eating at all. Richie grabbed a probably dirty hoodie and pair of shorts off the ground- all his pajamas were way too small and his parents wouldn't buy him new ones, so he just slept in his clothes or underwear. He also grabbed a clean pair of boxers from his top drawer and dumped the shit in his school bag on the floor. His pillow for some reason was in the corner of his room and he didn't have a sleeping bag or blanket besides his duvet- so he'd borrow one of Bill's instead. On his way downstairs he grabbed his toothbrush from the bathroom and his phone charger that was on the windowsill in the hall. Once downstairs Richie headed to the kitchen, he'd volunteered to bring some food so he was hoping Maggie actually bothered to go shopping this week. He looked in all the cabinets and eventually found a bag of skittles and a box of cheez-its. He chucked them in his backpack with his other things before leaving to go to Bills. If Maggie woke up or Wentworth got home and wanted to know where he was they could text him- he couldn't be fucked with them right now anyway.

Bill's house was a 10-minute walk away or a 5-minute bike ride, as much as he wished he could bike, his bike was confiscated and hidden god knows where because Went and Maggie got bored. Walking 10 minutes by himself meant he was stuck with his thoughts for 10 minutes. Which wasn't very fun at all. He couldn't stop thinking about him and Bev's conversation earlier, sure it made sense to be a crush. Bev was right- you don't just notice small things about your friends. But Richie knew he was into girls. He always had been. And if you're not gay you can't like guys. He could ask Bev later- she said you didn't have to be gay to like dudes, maybe she was right. But that would mean Richie did have a crush on Eddie. That wasn't the worst thing that could happen- but at the same time it was. Or he didn't have any crush on Eddie at all and this was all just a weird phase he was going through that would end in a few days. Yeah, that's it. Just Richie's mind playing games with him for a little while.

   


*

   


Eddie was the last to arrive at Bill's, which wasn't surprising. It took a lot to convince Sonia to let Eddie do anything except go to the doctors. Whilst waiting for Eddie the others started setting up for the evening. Bill's parents weren't home and Georgie was in his room, so the losers could stay up as late as they wanted. Ben had brought two bags of cheetos, doritos, various candies and three large bottles of coke. The losers were also going to order dominos later on which would include three or four large pizzas and some garlic bread. The food Richie and Ben brought was separated into bowls and put on the small table in the center of the living room. Bill had a relatively big flat-screen TV on one wall with a couch fit for three facing it, a large armchair in the corner and Georgie and Bill also each had a beanbag that could be used for sitting. Before everyone arrived, Bill and Mike were also able to collect various pillows, blankets and duvets for downstairs too- as they'd end up falling asleep downstairs at various points during the movies. No one knew which movie to watch- Richie hadn't brought any, Mike didn't have any as he didn't go home, Eddie still hadn't shown up and Bev, Bill, Ben and Stan were arguing over what movie to pick.

"I told you guys this wouldn't work earlier- but did anyone listen to me? No." Stan stated in the middle of the dispute

"Stanley the manley, just relax. Me and Mike over here can choose!" Richie jumped up from his seat on the couch and came to look at the options. Bev had brought Annabelle: Creation and Veronica, Ben brought The Emperor's New Groove and UP, Stan chose Cast Away and Forrest Gump and Bill wanted to watch Anchorman or some other Will Ferrell movie.

"I still think we should watch Annabelle," Beverly groaned.

"You seem to be forgetting about my sweet little Eds Bevvy dear," Richie chimed in response. Beverly laughed a little to herself and Richie quickly shut up about Eds. She was wrong about how he felt- he knew it.

"I-is E-Eddie even c-coming?" Bill asked, sounding a bit defeated at the idea of not all the losers being there and as if one queue the doorbell rang with what could only be Eddie.

Everyone got up to greet Eddie as Beverly held Richie back, "While the others are gone for a second, if you want to talk more about... Y'know- earlier. Just talk to me, okay?"

"Bev. You're wrong. It can't be a crush- it's just a weird phase or game my mind is playing on me. Not a crush-"

"W-who has a c-crush?" Bill ask as the others came into the living room. Fuck.

"Hi Rich, Hi Bev!" Eddie put his bag next to Ben's and sat next to Richie on the floor.

"No one has a crush Bill." Richie said, maybe a bit too seriously.

"Are you sure? Because we heard someone talking about a crush?" Mike wiggled his brows in excitement.

"You must've misheard," Richie again- very seriously stated.

"Mhm sure. We believe you-"

Before Mike could carry on Stan instantly started complaining about the movies again, "Eddie hasn't brought any either. His mom wouldn't let him. So, what are we going to watch?"

The others sat down around the movies and started studying them. Beverly was still adamant about Annabelle but everyone else disagreed. Eddie, Richie and Stan all wanted to watch Cast Away but Mike and Bill wanted Anchorman. Ben decided he didn't care and just wanted the others to decide.

"C'mon Ben! Benny Boy! Vote for Castaway so we have over half the votes!" Richie jokingly begged

"Ben no choose Annabelle!"

"Bev that wouldn't change anything- 2/7 in this case is basically the same as 1/7" Stan interrupted.

"Everyone hear is out to get me!" Beverly shouted as she pretended to cry.

"Fine I'll change to Cast Away," Mike started, "Now can we just watch a movie already?"

Bill and Beverly groaned in unison as the others made their way to sit down. Stan was already on a beanbag so he stayed where he was- just readjusting it slightly. Beverly jumped into the armchair and sprawled across it. Mike and Ben both sat on the couch and Bill took the other beanbag after putting the disc in the DVD player. Meaning Eddie and Richie had to both fit in the space left on the coach. Mike and Ben took up a large amount of it and despite moving up as far as they could Eddie and Richie were still left basically on top of each other. It didn't seem to bother Eddie, obviously, they were just friends. Being squashed between Richie and Mike in a way that meant Richie and Eddie's legs were pressed together and they he practically holding hands didn't bother Eddie. But Richie felt his skin burning from the contact and couldn't stop looking back at Eddie every few seconds. Shit, shit, shit, fuck. Beverly wasn't correct. This wasn't a crush. Eds was just cute and they were just best friends- friends.

The movie was good, after Cast Away they watched Anchorman before deciding to order dominos. They got a large cheese pizza and two large pepperoni ones as well as a side of garlic bread and a normal cheese pizza for Georgie. The food would take half an hour to arrive and they decided to just wait for it before starting the next movie.

"C'mon we've watched one of Bill's movies and one of Stan's lets watch Annabelle once we get pizza!" Bev suggested for the hundredth time that night.

"Can we please not, I don't like those kind of movies..." Eddie argued, sounding slightly embarrassed

"I m-mean I w-wouldn't mind w-watching i-it," Bill said, giving Eddie an apologetic glance

"I've seen it before it's not too bad," Mike agreed

"Yes! Come on one more person agree!" Bev had a huge smile on her face now

"No guys lets watch one of Ben's Movies," Eddie was pleading with them now.

"This is why we should have agreed beforehand." Stan stated in his usual serious tone

"I'm with Eddie guys, do we have to watch Annabelle?" Ben wasn't scared like Eddie was- and he wouldn't push it too far, he just didn't want to watch it.

Richie didn't know what to do, he didn't want to upset Eds but at the same time Annabelle was better than one of Ben's Disney movies, "Eds I'll protect yah, don't you worry!"

"Don't call me that Richie- and I really don't want to watch Annabelle..."

After going back and forth for a while the food arrived and Eddie finally agreed to watching Annabelle- even though he really didn't want to. It was kind of embarrassing for him, most people at his age weren't remotely scared of horror movies but he couldn't help it. He knew Richie wouldn't mind him hiding his view from the film by leaning into his arm- and honestly, he wouldn't mind it either. Eddie had always liked being near Richie. He felt safe with him and knew nothing too bad could happen. Like that time they all went to the movies and Richie dumped his drink all over Henry Bowers and his gang so they wouldn't know Eddie was the one who knocked his popcorn on them. Richie always did small things to help him and he appreciated it- a lot. Eddie was sitting right next to Richie after all, and the movie isn't even 2 hours. So maybe he'd be fine.

Georgie came down to get his pizza and some garlic bread before being sent back upstairs before they put on Annabelle. They all served up their pizza on paper plates before going back to their original seats as Bill, again, set up the movie. Eddie sat closer to Richie this time, though Richie weirdly seemed a little stiff for the first few seconds before relaxing into his seat.

Richie enjoyed the movie, he loved horror films. Unlike Eddie he liked the thrill of being scared by something- it was exciting. However, during the movie Richie couldn't help but get distracted during this film. When Eddie first sat down next to him far closer than before his heart rate went up a bit and it took him a second to relax. But throughout the whole film Eddie kept hiding in his shoulder or arm and moving closer and closer to him. Richie knew he didn't mind it, he never would get annoyed at Eddie for something like that. the problem was him enjoying it. The problem was Richie enjoying the scarier scenes because it meant Eddie would snuggle into him. he shouldn't feel like that- it was wrong to feel like that for a friend. But he did. eventually he found himself wanting to put his arm around Eddie- he'd done it many times before but he felt different now. He stopped himself at first but after a few minutes he couldn't help it and did it anyway. As soon as he did it Eddie looked up at him and Richie suddenly felt himself going pink. It was weird. Why would he do that- it was too close to a hug and friends don't hug like that. Richie looked away and went to move his arm but to his surprise Eddie just leaned in closer to him and stopped Richie's arm from moving.

   


*

   


It was close to 11 now and everyone was putting the food away or getting changed- Richie and Beverly were alone in the kitchen throwing out some garbage and putting the pizza in the fridge.

"There's no convincing me you don't like Eddie after that Rich," Bev said while rearranging the fridge so the pizza would fit.

"After what? Nothing happened."

Beverly quietly laughed before quietly saying, "you two cuddling on the couch like that."

"Bev how many times do I have to tell you I'm not gay!"

"How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to be gay to like dudes!"

"But liking dudes is being gay dipshit," Richie stated- adamant he didn't remotely like Eddie in that way. 

"And liking dudes and girls is being bi dipshit."

Now Richie was confused. What the fuck was Bev on about, "What the fuck is that?"

"Being bisexual is liking both genders Richie, there's nothing wrong with it don't worry."

"But I don't like guys-"

Before the two could carry on with their discussion Ben came into the kitchen to tell Richie and Beverly that after they cleaned the food away they were going to watch UP. Ben left as quick as he came in and it was just Beverly and Richie again.

"Look Bev- even if I do like Eds it won't last. It's just my mind being an asshole," Richie didn't even know what to say really. He knew deep down he liked Eddie, but he's always felt the same way about Eds he just recently started noticing different parts about him. He didn't like Eds like this last year or last month or even last week. Unless he did. What was wrong with him.

Beverly could tell Richie was sad or annoyed or something by the whole thing, "Richie- there's nothing wrong with liking guys-"

"Yes there is!" Richie shouted a bit too loudly, "Of course it is! Why do you think faggot is an insult and why... why..."

"Richie, calm down."

"Bev this is so wrong. Why... How am I thinking this shit? What the fuck is wrong with me?!"

"Shhh if you're not careful the others will hear you. Look- nothing is wrong with you and there's nothing wrong with being gay, bi or anything else." 

"...It's just-"

"Richie, calm down. We don't have to talk about it, I'm sorry for bringing it up."

   


*

   


For UP they were all in the same seats as before and Eddie was leaning against Richie again. Not as much as when they were watching Annabelle, but Richie still felt his skin tingling against Eddie's touch. He was distracted for most of the movie- studying Eddie's features and just thinking about him. Maybe he did like Eddie. Well he'd already established he did but like maybe it wasn't some phase. Richie knew it was wrong to feel how he did but maybe he couldn't help it. Either way it didn't matter, Eddie would never like him back- ever. Richie could never tell anyone either, thankfully Bev was more than understanding. Hell, she'd accepted it more than he did. But the others, what would Bill and Stan say, or Ben or Mike or... Eddie... He would be disgusted with Richie. He'd lose his Eds forever- which couldn't happen.

Once UP had finished Bev, Stan and Eddie had fallen asleep. Bill was still awake but was clearly very tired and Ben had moved off the couch and set up his airbed half way through the movie. Mike and Bill decided to go get some more air beds from some closet after making sure Richie was okay with Eddie basically sleeping on top of him. He was more than okay, but he just nodded in response. Now that there was only two of them on the couch and it looked like they would be sleeping there- Richie slowly shifted so he was half laying down and half sitting up. He was sitting so his back was against the armrest which felt weird in his back, so he grabbed the cushion that was once behind him and now next to him and put it against the armrest. Eddie, who was once on top of Richie before the cushion was moved, was now more next to him. His face was still buried in Richie's chest but Richie didn't want to wake Eddie up, so he left it. He was just able to reach a blanket that wasn't being used and throw it over himself and Eds. This was probably the closest they've ever been and a bit weird but Richie couldn't just wake up Eds could he? No that would be rude. So it was fine. Anyway- Eddie is the one who leaned into Richie and fell asleep, so it wasn't even his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayy chapter 2!  
> so there were some fuck ups with chapter 1- i'd accidentally posted it like 7 times because whenever I posted it A03 would crash and it didn't show me that it had uploaded until the next day, so sorry for that!


	3. I'm not a faggot

Richie woke up laying on his back with an arm around Eddie, Eddie was laying half on top of him and half next to him like last night and was already awake and on his phone. He sat up slightly, Beverly was still asleep in the armchair and Ben and Mike were on their phones on the airbeds. Richie assumed Stan and Bill were probably making breakfast as he could smell bacon cooking. Richie suddenly realizes he and Eddie are laying a bit too close and he quickly moves his arm from around Eddie and stretches slightly; Eddie, realising Richie is awake sits up more so he isn't laying on top of him. After a few seconds of stretching Richie sits up too as he yawns.

"And he's finally awake," Eddie joking says

Richie laughs a little, "So, my Eddie Spaghetti, did you enjoy sleeping with me last night?"

"Don't call me Eddie Spaghetti- it's not my name."

"You love it really," Richie teased as he stuck his tongue out at Eddie 

"No I don't- it's annoying," Eddie tried not to laugh at Richie pulling stupid faces at him but he couldn't help it and started giggling anyway

"Can you two be quiet," Beverly groaned from her armchair, "Some of us are trying to sleep."

Beverly tried falling back asleep but couldn't as it was too bright out- so she, as well as Mike and Ben, just joined Richie and Eddie's conversation. It wasn't long before Stan and Bill came from the kitchen to announce that breakfast was ready and the losers could come eat when they wanted to. Bill and Stan had cooked bacon, eggs and toast for everyone and it was delicious. By the time everyone had finished eating it was half past 10, and Eddie realized if he didn't leave soon his mother would be really annoyed, mad, disappointed or whatever negative way she had to feel about him today. To be fair he could probably arrive home at 8 and Sonia would complain it was too early for him to be outside- so there was no real winning in this, or any situation with Sonia Kasprak. After Eddie said he should probably get going Richie said he'd walk home with Eddie, Richie really didn't want to leave. The other losers would probably hang out until 2 or 3- but he knew when Eddie missed out on things it made him feel left out. The two packed their things and said goodbye to everyone, they'd probably end up meeting each other again later and definitely tomorrow, so it wasn't too tragic of a goodbye.

Eddie and Richie talk the whole way home about usual things but Richie can't help but think back to how they fell asleep last night. It didn't mean anything- obviously- but the idea of Eddie essentially snuggled against him gave him chills. He thought a lot about Eddie last night, and yesterday in general to be fair, and he realized Bev was at least partially right. He still didn't understand the whole 'bisexual' thing but he knew he liked Eddie. He really liked his Eds. It did scare him though. He still didn't think that guys could like guys- or should like guys. Being a fag or whatever was bad- it's what Henry Bowers called Eddie and what Wentworth would scream when he was being a dick to Richie. Henry Bowers would even call Richie a four-eyed faggot sometimes. It was wrong and Richie knew it- but he couldn't help how he felt and the more he thought about it the stronger he felt.

They got to Eddie's house too quick for Richie's liking. Being at Eddie's meant that not only would Richie have to leave Eddie but he also had to got home. There was a 50% chance Maggie would be piss-faced already and as it was Saturday Went was definitely home. Whenever Went was home Richie's life was a living hell. He hated his parents and how he felt when at home- they had the ability to break Richie down and make him seem so small and insignificant. Richie used to sneak out at night times to go to Eddie's. Eddie always made Richie feel safe, if you saw the two of them you'd probably expect Eddie to be the one that needed protecting however, Richie was so much weaker than Eddie in so many ways. Eddie didn't fully know that, or maybe he did- but either way Richie appreciated him. After the incident a year ago when Sonia caught Richie Eddie didn't want him sneaking over as much, Richie still went occasionally but not nearly as much. It was fine though- Eddie shouldn't have to deal with Richie's problems anyway.

"Richie? Richie?"

Shit- Richie had zoned out again, he was just standing there like an idiot.

"Huh? Yeah... What? sorry"

"I said are you okay- you've gone all pale again. Richie please talk to me."

Richie felt himself start to shake slightly. He couldn't tell Eds, Eds was half the problem and he couldn't let how he felt for Eds slip out.

"Eds, I told you yesterday- i'm fine."

"Richie please just tell me- you're my best friend. I'm worried about you."

"Oh Eddie Spaghetti I'm flattered, really, but don't you worry your cute little face! I'm fine- aye okay!" Richie was desperately forcing the happiness to make Eddie (and himself) believe he really was happy.

"Okay, well text me if you need to- okay?"

"Of course spaghetti."

"Okay, well bye Rich, see you whenever."

"Yeah... See ya"

 

*

 

"Where the fuck were you you little shit?! Me and your mother were up all night worrying about your worthless ass!"

Richie had been home approximately 5 seconds and Wentworth was already shouting at him, "I would've told you... I ju-just forgot.."

"Oh you forgot my ass! Bull-fucking-shit. What the fuck is wrong with you? Your mother was worried sick!"

"Worried enough to be passed out drunk when I got home?"

"Don't you fucking dare talk back to me Richard."

"I'm just saying I forgot to leave a note..."

That's when Richie felt the sudden heat on his cheek- heat suddenly turned to pain as he realized his dad had slapped him. It was a regular thing that happened in the Tozier household, yet Richie never got used to it. Sure realistically Wentworth should be mad- a dad should be annoyed when there son disappears for the night. But a dad also doesn't find amusement in mocking or relentlessly teasing his son. Or slapping him at any given opportunity. 

"I-I'm not l-lying..." Richie could feel his eyes going watery. Shit. His dad gets even worse if cries.

"First you fucking lie about leaving and now you're fucking lying to me again. Do I look like a fucking idiot to you Richard?"

"N-no.." Shit, how was Richie already crying. This isn't even bad for Wentworth. This is fucking nothing.

"And now my little faggot son is crying is he?" Wentworth hit Richie again, this time harder and in the chest- sending Richie to the floor, "I raised a man not a fucking faggot."

"I'm not a faggot." Richie barely whispered

"Excuse me?"

"I... I said... I'm not a faggot." Richie's voice was still insanely quiet

"Really? Because right now you're huddled on the floor crying like a pussy. Like a fucking faggot. Now get to your fucking room you bullshit excuse of a son."

Richie couldn't get up, he wanted to but he just couldn't. He stayed huddled on the floor until Wentworth suddenly yanked Richie up by his t-shirt and dragged him up the stairs, Richie was still crying and he didn't even know why. Sure the hits hurt but the hits always hurt and he never cries. It's also not like he's never been called a pussy or a faggot before. Why the fuck is he acting so weird lately.

"You're going to stay in here for as long as I want you to. Don't you ever lie to me again for fucking talk back to me you little cunt," Wentworth slammed Richie's door behind him and Richie could hear it lock from outside. He definitely couldn't sneak out again- if he was caught Wentworth would probably murder him- and his bag was downstairs so he didn't have his phone to message anyone. All he could do was cry, he didn't even bother to move over to his bed. He'd felt like shit recently-  he never was truly happy because his family life was always so shitty and then at school he had to put up with Henry Bowers and his gang. Now however, he had all these weird, wrong feelings. Eddie suddenly wasn't what he'd always been before and it's all he can think about because he is a fucking faggot. Wentworth called him a faggot, Henry calls him a four-eyed faggot and despite Bev being one of the nicest people he knows even her telling him he might be bi makes him feel like shit too. He really needs to speak to Eddie- not about how he feels, that can never be said to anyone- he just needs his best-friend.

Suddenly Richie feels like he can't cry anymore as he hears his door being unlocked- he looked at the clock and it was 2 in the afternoon already. He'd been crying nonstop like a mess for 3 hours. His door opens to reveal his slightly better parent. Maggie was standing there and seemed slightly more sober than usual, "Your dad's gone out. You can come downstairs and eat some lunch."

"Oh, okay... yeah."

"Please don't cry Richard. It upsets me when you cry."

Richie follows his mother downstairs. What the fuck does she mean it upsets her when he cries? So him crying is upsetting for her but him being hit and called a faggot by his father isn't? He should be used to it by now, Maggie either didn't really care for Richie all that much or was scared of Wentworth herself.

"You can have a PB&J, that's all we have. And don't take too long you need to be in your room before your father gets back," That's all Maggie says before returning to the couch once again. probably having another drink of some form of alcohol. Richie makes up a shitty sandwich and grabs a bag of chips from the cupboard. It doesn't take him long to eat and soon enough he's in his room again. Feeling like shit.

 

_What the fuck is wrong with me lately?_

_Last week i was fine- two days ago I was fine..._

_Why the fuck am I like this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a shorter chapter because I didn't know where to take it, sorry it's kinda shit.  
> Also I feel like I'm pacing this and writing this in a really bad way? Again this is my first fic so I'm kinda lost on how to take it and pace it kinda thing. Like I know the rough story I just don't know how to write it I guess? idk I'm a general fuck up lmao


	4. I like you more than I should

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one's kinda violent to start with??  
> But it end in a cute way so don't worry :)  
> Also some Eddie POV in this, although the story is still very much Richie's perspective I thought it was kinda necessary? Tell me what you think I guess

Sunday was just as bad as Saturday for Richie. Maggie was right; Wentworth was home not soon after he'd had his sandwich, thankfully he'd eaten quickly. It wasn't bad at first as Richie was just locked in his room again and he had his phone now. But Sunday quickly turned to shit. It started with Wentworth storming into Richie's room and instantly shouting about the state of the room. Richie had cans and candy wrappers over every surface and dirty clothes all over the floor. He easily could've cleaned it the previous day but he really couldn't bring himself to do anything besides sit on his bed or floor and think through everything.

"Clean this shit up now Richard." Wentworth was already pissed off with Richie and he hadn't seen him in a day.

"...Okay." Richie barely mumbled, still in his thoughts and generally trying to avoid Wentworth.

"Fucking speak up faggot and address me properly."

"I said okay Dad."

"Don't give me that fucking attitude. I'm not at all happy with you right now."

Richie looked at Wentworth confused. He hadn't done sit considering he'd been locked in his room- normally Went would shut him away when he was finally tired of beating the shit out of Richie, "W-Why aren't you happy?"

"Oh don't act fucking stupid Richard. Your mother told me you convinced her to let you out of this room. I fucking told you that you were to fucking stay in here you little shit!"

"She- She offered me lunch... I didn't ask..."

"Oh so now you're trying to blame her? And what did we fucking say yesterday about fucking lying?" 

"...Sorry"

The conversation didn't continue from there; Wentworth stormed in the room and shoved Richie over harder than he ever had before. As Richie was on the floor Went saw Richie's phone on the bed and walked over to it, "What have you been doing on this then?"

Richie looked up from the floor and saw Wentworth holding his phone, "I've... I've not done anything on it... It's just- just chargng."

Wentworth sighed before out of nowhere flinging the phone at the wall- shattering it. Richie flinched at the sudden noise and violence from his father and could feel his eyes start to get watery again.

"Were you messaging those freaks you talk to at school? Telling them about your mean dad hmm?"

"N-no... It was just charging."

"Was it that other faggot you hang out with?"

_Eds._

"Or the trashy slut?"

_Bev._

_"_ Or that nigger?"

 _Mike._  

"The obese little fuck?"

_Ben._

Richie felt more sick with every name and even sicker that he couldn't defend them to Wentworth, "N-no... I wasn't texting anyone... I'd show you... But the phone- y-you broke-"

"Shut the fuck up. Stop fucking lying. Which shit-head freak was it? The Jew? The ugly prick with the stutter?"

"N-none of them..."

Wentworth gave up replying and instead grabbed Richie up by his collar and slammed him against the nearest wall, holding him up by his neck. Richie could barely breath and now had tears rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably- only feeding into Wentworth's anger. All Richie wanted in that moment was to be with Eddie- Eddie Spaghetti. His Eds. Eddie always knew how to cheer him up. Out of instinct Richie tried kicking himself out of Wentworth's grasp- bad mistake. Wentworth swiftly kicked between Richie's legs, causing him to squeal in pain and stop trying to break free.

"Look you little shit- you're going to stay here until you can learn to stop fucking lying to me. Don't even think about asking your mother to let you leave. Oh- and clean this shit up," Wentworth let Richie got and he dropped to the floor and gasped for air. Without thinking he snapped at his dad, "I'm not fucking lying to you," It wasn't the clearest because he was breathing heavily and still crying a lot but Wentworth definitely understood.

Went didn't even bother responding, instead he just once again pulled Richie up from the floor before punching him across the face, sending him flying back to the floor. Went walked to the door and before re-locking Richie in the room said, "You can come out when you learn to treat your father with some fucking respect and stop lying."

Richie was laying on the floor shaking and heard the door lock and Wentworth storm down the stairs. His cheek stung unbearably and he was still catching his breath. Normally Went was smart enough not to punch Richie's face or anywhere else visible- if someone found out how Richie was treated at home, especially the school, there'd be serious consequences for Wentworth and Maggie. Richie assumed his face would bruise and would just have to say it was a fight if anyone asked. No one would really care to ask further.

The rest of the day and night was torture- he wasn't allowed to eat, couldn't talk to his friends even if he wanted to and could fall asleep to save his life.

 

*

 

Richie woke up on Monday with Maggie coming in, thankfully it wasn't Went as he still hadn't cleaned his room and was basically laying where Went had left him yesterday. Maggie didn't say or do much, just told him it was 7.30 and he needed to get ready for school. Normally Richie would leave at 8.30 to meet with the other losers and get to school by 9- but today he needed to leave early. He looked in the mirror and to no surprise his face had bruised, meaning he couldn't have the losers finding out about what happened. It wasn't their problem and he didn't need any sympathy. If the losers pitied him the whole dynamic of the group would change and he couldn't be him anymore. He was the happy trashmouth- not the sad and hurt one that needed everyone's help.

Richie also noticed in the mirror he had huge, dark bags under his eyes. He managed to get 5 hours sleep maximum Saturday and Sunday night combined and it was very obvious.

_shit, shit, shit..._

He'd be fine. It would all be fine. He looked like shit but if he just kept his head down and didn't talk to anyone until he looked better no one would suspect or know anything. He'd be fine.

Richie got dressed in some (probably dirty) clothes off the floor and packed his bag with his things for school he dumped on the floor on Friday. He then grabbed a pack of old M&Ms out his desk drawer and ate them, knowing Maggie wouldn't make him anything to eat and there probably wasn't anything anyway. After that he brushed his teeth and organised his room a little bit, hopefully stopping Wentworth being that angry at him. By the time he was finally finished with everything it was 8.15, he needed to leave soon if he was going to make it to homeroom without bumping into any of the losers.

The walk to school was awful, he was so used to walking with the losers so it felt weird walking by himself. He wondered if any of them tried to contact him, normally they would've organised to meet up on Sunday over text but Wentworth broke his phone kind of early in the morning. Maybe they didn't try to organize anything or if they did they just didn't notice Richie's absence or lack of responce. Eddie probably would've noticed- Eds had been worrying about Richie a lot recently. Richie could tell. Besides the blatant asking if Richie was okay there was also sympathetic looks and worried expressions- which needed to stop really. It was only making Richie fall even harder for Eddie and it meant Eddie would start treating him differently. Like some sad, weak victim. Richie wasn't a victim- just someone with a shitty dad. Richie thought about Eddie a lot on the way to school, he couldn't help it. He wasn't letting himself speak to him today so thinking about him wan't as bad as it normally would be.

Richie got to school at 8.30 and it was practically empty- most people showed up at 8.40-8.55 to be in homeroom by 9. Richie was in homeroom at 8.42 and went to reach for his phone before remembering it was shattered on his floor. Other students started showing up after a little while and Richie kept his head low so as few people would see the bruise as possible. Considering he'd been locked in his room for pretty much 2 days straight without doing anything homeroom went by quite quickly. Luckily he didn't have any lessons with one of the losers until after lunch- which was calculus with Eddie.

After homeroom Richie had English period 1 and History period 2. Like most subjects he found them easy enough and managed to maintain good grades but today he just couldn't focus. He kept thinking about if Eds and the other losers tried to talk to him or were worried about him and his mind kept telling him they probably didn't notice. Which was good, they shouldn't have noticed because it isn't their problems. But they would have noticed right? Did they even meet up on Sunday- Richie wouldn't even know if they knocked on his front door for him, he was too busy crying in his room. 

_I'm such a fucking mess._

Before Richie knew it History was over, meaning it was break. He didn't know how he was going to avoid the losers over break. Probably sit in an empty classroom or something and practically hide from them and everyone else. Yeah that works. They won't notice anyway it'll be fine.

 

*

 

 Eddie was beyond worried about Richie. He was now walking to school and Richie didn't meet him outside his house like normal. He should've pushed harder on Saturday when he knew something was wrong with Richie- or on Friday. Richie had been so pale and looked so defeated, like something was eating at him and destroying him from the inside. Eddie was kind of hurt that Richie wouldn't talk to him but it wasn't really surprising, Richie rarely spoke to anyone about his problems. Like not talking about them means they aren't real. All the losers know something's up with Richie and as far as Eddie knew him and Beverly knew the most. It was no secret Wentworth and Maggie were fucking useless. Eddie knew they had always been a problem. Friday however, there was something else. Eddie knew it. He knew Richie. Richie was normally so loud and obnoxious- in the best way possible- but Friday and Saturday morning... He was sad, lonely, something. Eddie was going to help. He was determined.

On the way to school the losers spoke about Richie's disappearance- they'd all met up on Sunday and Richie wouldn't respond to anyone's texts and when they went to his house Maggie told the group Richie had no interest in seeing them and they could hear Wentworth shouting about something in the distance. Mike and Ben didn't really know a lot about Richie's home life so believed Maggie more than the others (until the others explained how Maggie and Went were) but Bev was very visibly concerned and Eddie assumes he probably was too. And although Richie didn't tell them much, considering they've known Richie for most of their lives Bill and Stan could tell something was wrong too.

Eddie hadn't seen Richie all morning. What if Went and Maggie didn't let him leave? Were they hurting him? Was Richie... no he wouldn't anymore. He promised Eddie he'd stop. It was definitely Went and Maggie. When would he be back though? Would he be back? Eddies lessons dragged by too slowly as he continued to work himself up- coming close to an asthma attack too many times. At break he could text Richie again, like he had been all of yesterday. Asking if he was okay and just checking up on him. Eddie worried for all the losers but there was something about Richie- maybe it was his smile or his doughy brown eyes? Eddie didn't know but he'd always had a soft spot for the lanky, curly haired boy in stupid coke bottle glasses. He didn't know what the feeling was but he knew Richie was special to him. He (As much as he hated to admit it) favored him to the other losers in a weird way. It's like Richie just understands him and would do anything for him- just as Eddie would do anything for Richie. Eddie couldn't criticize Richie either, not even if you payed him. He just cared so much for Richie.

Eventually break came and Eddie rushed over to where he knew Mike and Bill would be, as they just had Physics or something together. As soon as Eddie made his way up to the pair he spluttered out, "I'm really worried about Richie- somethings wrong... I know it- something has to be wrong!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Eddie slow down," Mike calmly said trying to calm the short boy down.

"H-he might j-just b-b-be sick-ck E-Eddie. W-we don't kn-know," Bill said, also trying to reassure Eddie.

"No you two don't get it! On Saturday- we were talking and he went really pale like something was wrong. I didn't say anything because he told me nothing was wrong but... but... I know! I know something happened"

"Eddie don't worry," Eddie wondered how Mike could be so calm at this point. Richie was hurt! Something happened to him and he was avoiding them or school or something, "When Richie is back at school we'll talk to him. We can text him again too," Mike finished.

"I've already texted him like 100 times Mike-" Eddie couldn't finish talking as he felt his asthma finally kick in. He started hyperventilating as he reached for his inhaler. Once he got hold of it he took a puff of it and tried to calm down.

"E-Eddie. H-he'll b-be f-fine. W-e'll m-make sure of i-it."

Eddie nodded at Bill as his breathing improved. Once he was feeling better he, Bill and Mike went to find the others at their usual spot. Still no Richie.

 

*

 

Richie's next two lessons went by fairly quickly too. He was still thinking about the losers and Wentworth and Maggie and... Eddie. He couldn't stop thinking about Eddie- if he didn't have a crush on him before he definitely had a crush on him now. Eddie would be worried right? Surely at least Eds was a little concerned he wasn't with them. Did they even know he was in school? Surely they didn't, if they did they'd come talk to Richie. Not that they need to but they would right?

Richie left his classroom and started making his way to the cafeteria, he wanted to sit outside by himself but the only way there was through the cafeteria. Meaning he'd probably have to walk past the losers and hope they didn't notice him. It would be better if he didn't have to walk that way, it's not even like he needed food. Maggie hadn't gone shopping in what felt like years and there was no way he was getting any money off her. But it was fine, he could have an energy drink or something after school- it wouldn't fill him up but it was something. When he walked in the cafeteria he saw Bev, Stan, Ben and Eddie at their usual table. Ben and Bev were sitting a bit to close for friends facing away from him, Stan was next to them and Eds was opposite Ben and Bev. They made eye contact for what couldn't have been longer than a second but Richie saw Eddie's face drop and Eddie definitely saw the bruise.

_Shit_

Richie suddenly sped up his walking and tried to get out the cafeteria and away without Eds catching up to him but Eddie was already up and following, the others seemed to notice him leave but didn't question it. It wasn't long before Richie was out the back entrance and outside. He was at the back of the school so no one else was out there and at that point Richie decided he wanted Eds to find him and didn't care about what he looked like so he allowed himself to collapse against the wall and without even realizing it he started sobbing into his hands. Seconds after he'd sat down Richie could hear Eddie rush out the door, he didn't look up at him and just carries on crying into his hands.

"Richie?"

Richie looks up and can see Eddie is crying too. Why is Eddie crying?

"Richie look... Please fucking tell me wha- oh my god who did that to your face?!"

Eddie obviously hadn't noticed how bad the bruise was and as he asked what happened he keeled in front of Richie before gently running his hand across the side of Richie's face. Without thinking Richie leans into the touch before quickly moving his head back.

"Look Eds... It's nothing really-"

"Richie please stop lying to me! I care too fucking much and need to know what happened. Please, talk to me?"

Richie flinched at being accused of lying, remembering what Wentworth had shouted at him the day before. Eddie noticed and instantly moved closer to Richie and pulled him into a hug, "Richie please," Eddie was really crying now, "I've been so worried and texting you and constantly asking the others if they've heard anything."

Richie pushed Eddie off of him lightly, so he could talk and sighed, "Wentworth smashed my phone, that's why I didn't reply."

Eddie looked at the taller boy in shock for a few moments, "Is he the one who... Did he..."

"Hit me?" Richie interrupted, "Yeah. Normally he's smart enough to not hit me where people can see it..."

"Wait it's a frequent thing?"

"I guess... Look Eds, I'm fine really..."

"No. Richie you're not. Wait- Richie you're not...Are you- like y'know. You're not hurting yourself-"

"Eds I've not done that shit since freshman year."

"Rich, please. Talk to me. I hate asking these questions... I just need to know- I've been panicking all morning."

Richie explained the whole situation to Eddie. How Wentworth treated him on Saturday and then how on Sunday he was even worse. How he strangled him, punched him and kicked him. He told Eddie about how he hadn't had a proper meal in months and how he got about 2-6 hours of sleep every night. He told Eddie absolutely everything, even the shit he already knew because Richie felt like he was physically breaking and once he started talking he couldn't stop. He told Eddie absolutely everything except how he felt about Eddie. By the time he had finished both him and Eddie were crying way too much- both their faces were soaking wet and their breathing was heavier. However, in a weird way Richie felt better, like a small piece of the huge weight on his shoulders had been lifted.

"That's it Eddie... My life is fucked up and... I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do."

Richie was avoiding eye contact with Eds, he had came close to accidentally confessing his feelings a few times in his explanation and couldn't let it slip. Eddie would hate him. He'd be disgusted, not want anything to do with him.

"I'll help you. We all will. And are you sure that's it..?"

_Shit, shit, shit._

_No Eds that's not fucking it._

_I like you way more than I fucking should._

Without thinking Richie spluttered out, "You'd hate me."

"Wait what? Hate you for what? Rich, I could never fucking hate you," Eddie looked both hurt and confused.

"N-no... You- you would..."

"Richie please fucking tell m-"

And without even thinking Richie grabbed Eddie's face and pulled it to meet his, connecting their lips. Eddie went still for a moment and Richie instantly realized he fucked up. Shit, what was he thinking. He was about to pull away and apologize when he felt Eddie start to kiss back. Theor lips move together and it feels so right. It feels so perfect- for a second everything wrong in Richie's life goes away as he sits behind the school kissing his Eddie Spaghetti The kiss lasts no more than a few seconds before the two pull away, both now slightly red.

"I like you more than I should Eds..."

"I think I like you more than I should too Rich."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really messy sorry but it is the longest one I've written (I think??)  
> please tell me what you think, I love reading the comments!  
> Also they're sophomores in this btw (yr 11 if you're in England like me ;))


	5. whatever we are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a rly small filler chapter I guess?? Is this fluff or just a convo between Richie and Eddie? I'm not sure

Richie Tozier just kissed Eddie Kaspbrak.

_Shit._

Eddie kissed back and said he liked Richie too, which made Richie's heart melt- but what if Eddie just felt bad for Richie? What if he just kissed back because Richie was sad. What if he tells the others and they all laugh at him and then everyone knows he's a faggot. No Eddie must like him... He's always said he hates the idea of kissing so he wouldn't just do it as a joke. Right?

 

Eddie Kaspbrak just Kissed Richie Tozier.

_What?_

What the fuck were all these feelings? Why did Eddie suddenly feel like mush and why did kissing his best friend feel so right... So natural. How long had Richie liked him? Why did Richie like him? Why did Eddie like him back? Was he just acting weird because he's sad? No that doesn't make sense... It must've been real. Right?

 

The two confused boys sat next to each other behind the school for what felt like hours, Richie still slightly crying and Eddie even more confused then he was at the start of the day. Richie was slightly embarrassed, not only had he just been the most vulnerable he'd ever been in front of a person but he also boldly kissed that person out of nowhere. He could tell his face was red and his eyes were definitely puffy. He didn't really want to go back inside, people typically stared at people who are visibly sad and people who have a huge bruise across their face. Then there's the rumors and people saying you're just attention seeking and dramatic. Richie didn't want or need that, he already took enough shit from people. Fuck face, four-eyes, four eyed faggot and too many other names. Now he'd get crybaby and pussy on top of that. Why can't people just leave him the fuck alone? It's like the whole fucking world is out to get him.

"Do you want to stay at my house tonight?"

Richie was surprised by the question, Eddie never invited him over. He'd either have to text Eddie asking or run to his house close to tears. Eddie especially didn't invite him over after Sonia found him there last year- which resulted in Eddie getting grounded for a month. Richie really did want to go. He really did, but it would just be worse when he got back home after disappearing again.

"I can't spaghetti. It'll just be worse in the end."

"Oh... Well if you need to- sneak over. Will you be okay at your house?"

"I'm locked in my room until further notice, so if I keep quiet it'll probably be no worse than usual," Richie was looking forward- he avoided looking at Eddie after he kissed him. The whole situation felt weird, he was opening up in a way he never had and didn't know or think Eds would care this much.

_Maybe he does like me_

"No worse than usual? Richie what does that mean," Eddie turned his body so he was perpendicular to Richie and reached out to gently turn Richie's head in his direction, "How bad is it normally? Are there more bruises? Richie please..."

Eddie was crying again and Richie felt awful. This was his fault- now Eds would be worried about him and he already gets bad enough anxiety. Eddie shouldn't be worrying about him, he's fine.

"Richie lets skip. Like lets leave- for the rest of the day. Lunch is almost over and I know you don't want to go back inside. Let's go."

_What?_

_Eddie fucking Kaspbrak wants to skip school?_

_For him..._

"Eds you've never skipped though."

"Well there's a first time for everything."

 

*

 

Neither boy could drive, so they were stuck on foot. They just walked without talking much but both somehow were able to follow each other to one of the only places they and the other losers felt safe. The Quarry. It was the first place the losers club all hung out as a group of seven and where Richie, Eddie, Stan and Bill had always gone throughout their childhood.

"Eds?" Richie asked whilst sitting on a rock and looking out over to the horizon.

Eddie sat down next to him, a bit closer than he normally would, "Yeah?"

"Did that kiss... Uhh... Do you like me?" Richie still avoided eye contact with Eddie.

"I literally told you I did after we kissed."

And with that sentence Richie smiled a happy, genuine smile for the first time in a while as he looked over to Eds, "I thought maybe you just felt bad for me or something," as he said it his smile drops a little but his eyes remain happy.

"I didn't realize I liked you like that- I always just thought you were my best friend. And best friends were meant to favor each other and want to be around each other and notice the small things about each other. Like your eyes and voice and curly hair..." Eddie paused for a second, blushing after realizing what he had said but smiling when he saw Richie blushing all the same, "Like I knew I was gay but I didn't realize for you until... Well you kissed me. But now it all makes sense to me and feels so right, y'know?"

"I realized I liked you last week, but I think I've liked you forever and just didn't know. Like I started noticing things too... And when I told Bev she said it was a crush. I didn't believe her at first but now I do"

"To be honest Richie, I never thought you were gay. Wait are you gay?"

"I don't know what I am. Bev said I was bi or some shit."

"Oh... Yeah that makes sense."

"I never knew you were actually gay. Like I guess it makes sense. I just didn't realize."

"I'm literally the gayest thing in our school. And I'm always called a faggot. I thought it was obvious."

"Faggot is just an easy insult Eds. Possibly one of the worst, but still an easy one."

Richie and Eddie sat talking for the next couple of hours. It was the happiest Richie had been in days. Eddie had always been his favorite- he'd never tell the others but it was true. It all made sense now too, them being... whatever they were. Thinking back to their memories together Richie had always liked him in a different way slightly- he would just never admit it, scared of what his family or friends would think. Scared of what he would think. He was still scared but the one person he needed now- his Eddie Spaghetti- really cared for him. And what else could he really ask for?

Richie realized he'd need to be back home as soon as possible, to give Wentworth as little to be mad about as possible. So when Eddie checked his phone and it was already time to go both boys moods instantly plummeted. Richie didn't want to go back to the hell he called his home and Eddie didn't want to leave Richie in such a dangerous situation without any contact with him.

"Here take my phone- if you need to talk to me message my laptop Skype account. Just try to hide it and if it smashes then- well I'll take that risk. Unless he'd also hurt you for having my phone. then please don't take it."

"Eds I'll be fine," Richie told Eds- only half believing it himself.

"Rich, I'm so worried about you though."

"If it gets too bad and I'm able to, I'll sneak into your room spaghetti man."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Eddie and Richie walked home, part of them wanted to bump into the other losers but part of them were glad they didn't. Eddie wanted to walk Richie to his house but Richie insisted he'd be fine. Before Eddie went into his house Richie told him he could tell the other losers about Richie's home life. He wanted and felt like they should all know now, after Eds had been so nice he figured the others should know too.

"Just don't tell them too much, give them the general picture. And don't tell them about... Whatever we are."

"Of course Rich, and remember if you can, come to mine. You can sleep over and sneak back to yours for the morning."

"If I can I will."

"Bye then Rich."

"Goodbye Eds."


	6. people do care about you

Richie was surprised to find Maggie both awake and semi-sober when he got home. Normally she was either passed out or asleep by 2 and stayed that way until way too early in the morning when she got up. Richie always had a soft spot for his mom- she still didn't seem to ever  _really_ care about Richie; she wouldn't cook or do the laundry like mothers normally would. She wouldn't even talk to him half the time, unless she was waking him up for school. However, she also didn't beat the shit out of him, call him names or smash his things. She was Richie's version of a good parent. Which sucked- but that's just life. Richie didn't know why Maggie drank, he'd read somewhere that it was a way to cope with feelings that you felt unable to deal with in any other way but he didn't know what problems she had. To be fair Richie didn't know much about Maggie. Maybe Wentworth was a dick to her too, it wouldn't surprise Richie- at all.

"Hello Richard," Maggie looked up and smiled from where she was standing in the kitchen. She fucking smiled. Who knew she could be nice when she wasn't piss-faced drunk, "Your dad's getting back from work late. You don't have to go to your room if you don't want."

Richie was hesitant to take up on her offer- last time she went against Wentworth and let Richie out of his room everything just became worse for Richie, "But last time... After lunch on Saturday- Dad was really mad on Sunday."

"It can be our little secret, I won't tell Dad. Don't worry"

Before Richie could even process what was happening he was on the couch watching some shitty romcom with his mother. Deep down Richie did love Maggie. He didn't know why- she never did anything to stop the constant pain enforced on Richie by Wentworth, and would sometimes be the cause of it, like on Sunday. However, Richie couldn't imagine her being able to do much to stop it even if she wanted to; she was drunk half the time and Richie was pretty sure he'd heard Wentworth shout at Maggie for pointless shit too. Richie could never fully love Maggie or justify how she treated him but, when Wentworth wasn't home and Maggie wasn't drunk he could pretend to have a nice home life.

Richie ended up sitting on the couch with Maggie for most of the evening. It was nice- despite the movies being complete shit Richie actually found himself enjoying them. It's like the past week had been so awful that something he normally would have found torturous suddenly became one of the nicest things. The only thing that would've made it better would be Eddie sitting there with him instead of Maggie. Thinking about Eddie suddenly brought his mood down a little, he wouldn't be able to text Eddie that he was okay (for now) and watching TV. Eddie was left completely in the dark and knowing Eds he was definitely assuming the worst. This is why Richie shouldn't have told anyone, it felt good in the moment to vent but now not only was he suffering but Eddie was suffering too. To relieve himself of some of the pain he just pushed it all onto Eddie. What if Eddie had an asthma attack or couldn't sleep? No, Eddie wouldn't get that hung up on it would he? Eddie would be worried- obviously- Eds always is. But he wouldn't be  _that_ worried over it.

Maggie sent Richie back up to his room at 7.30, they didn't have any food so he couldn't eat but he'd have some sort of candy in his room. Wentworth was due to be home at 8-8.30 but Maggie thought it would be best for him to go upstairs at 7.30. Richie was tempted to sneak off to Eddie's but that was a bad idea. It was far to risky, if Wentworth got home and found Richie not there then God knows what would happen to Richie. Or if Richie was able to sneak out without his parents finding out what if Sonia found him again or Eddie assumed the worst and got too scared for his own good? It was best for Richie to stay here. He could take whatever shit Went was going to throw his way and could hopefully keep Eddie's potential panic to a minimal level. Then tomorrow at school if Eddie is worried he'll tell him he's fine and nothing happened.

Wentworth finally got home at 9, during the hour and a half Richie managed to fully clean his room as he was in a slightly better mood after talking to Eddie and having a peaceful evening with Maggie. He still felt bad about telling Eds about his problems but Eddie would be fine when Richie spoke to him tomorrow. And Eddie wanted to know, he chased Richie to talk to him. So it isn't fully his fault or a bad thing Eddie knows. When Wentworth walks in the house he shouts a hello to Maggie- the sound of his voice makes Richie flinch a little. Although Wentworth wasn't near him or even talking to him his voice terrified Richie. There were no memories Richie had with Went that were remotely good. Even when Richie was younger there was still shouting and criticism. The physical violence didn't start until Richie was 7 or 8 but by that point Richie was already so fucked up it barely made a difference. Richie used to wonder why his dad treated him like shit. Why Wentworth hated him so much. He never thought he did anything and still doesn't always think he has. Over time though Richie just learnt it's because he probably did something wrong. There was no other reason for it- his dad was right about him being a faggot so there was probably other truths to it. Maybe that's why he got shit from Henry and his gang too. Richie knew he was a complete fuck up- he was a mess. There's no denying that, he just didn't understand why he got so much shit for it.

Richie looked around his room for something to do, Saturday and Sunday he'd been such a mess he didn't even think to look for something to do. There were some pieces of homework he could probably do but he didn't feel like doing work right now. He'd cleaned his room, didn't have a phone and never had a laptop or tablet or something like that. He asked for one once to help with school but was told he couldn't just have everything he wanted and that he managed fine without it. So he didn't ask again. After 10 minutes of thinking Richie finally decided to just go to sleep, he'd barely slept recently and it wouldn't hurt. It'd also mean tomorrow would come sooner and he could see Eds again. Seeing Eds today was easily what saved him from just crying himself to sleep again tonight. He'd have to tell Eddie that- that Eds really helped him. But that would make Eddie worry more, so maybe not.

 

*

 

Richie wakes up with Maggie coming in as she normally does, telling him he has to get up and go to school. Wentworth hadn't acknowledged him once on Monday, maybe he was done being an asshole for now. Or he just couldn't be bothered to talk to Richie after the longer shift at work- probably that. Richie did what he does every morning, except he'd ate his last candy last night as some kind of dinner so he'd be hungrier than usual today, but it wouldn't effect him to much. He'd gone through worse. He probably should shower, as he hadn't all weekend but it sounded like Went was in the bathroom so Richie would just wait until after school, before Went got home.

Richie left the house at his usual time and makes his way down to Eddie's house. He and Eddie have a 10 or so minute walk with each other every morning before they got to Bill's house- where they met Bill, Ben and Bev. Stan was another little walk away and Mike would rarely walk with them as he lived on the outskirts of Derry and to meet up with them he'd have to leave way earlier.

Eddie is already outside his house when Richie approaches, and he looks really nervous, "Eddie Spaghetti! My main man! How are you today?" Richie booms, only slightly faking his happiness.

"Richie don't call me that. You know I hate it."

"No can do Eds Spaghetts!"

"Richie! That one's even worse."

"You love it really Eds," Richie swung his arm around the smaller boy's shoulders as they started walking to Bill's.

"I texted the group chat yesterday about your dad and stuff like you asked," Eddie spurts out of nowhere, "I hardly told them anything though. Just like how he's the one that gave you the bruise and that he smashed your phone. Oh- and I didn't tell them about... y'know, us being... Us."

"First of all, he's not my dad. Well he is. But don't call him it. It's Wentworth. And second of all were they okay with it?" Richie had a concerned tone, afraid of what the losers' reactions would be.

"Oh sorry. What do you mean were they okay with it?"

"Like... Did they find it weird or laugh or something..."

"Richie none of us are 'okay with it'. We all assumed something was up- even Mike and Ben who haven't been hanging out with us for long. But in no way was anyone laughing at it. We're your friends. Worried- yes. Weirded out and amused? Not at all."

"Oh okay, I just didn't want you guys to like not like me anymore. That's all."

"Why wouldn't we like you? Richie did you seriously think we would laugh at you?"

"It's just- I'm a complete fuck up. I didn't think anyone would want to put up with my shit."

"Look Richie," Richie had been avoiding eye contact the whole conversation so Eddie turned Richie's face so he was looking at him, "You're 'shit' is our 'shit' too. Look I obviously can't speak for the others but I know they'd fully agree. I care about you so fucking much. Any problem you have is my problem and I don't care how big or small the problem is- you're not a fuck up and your home life certainly isn't funny or amusing to anyone. None of the losers would ever, ever, ever laugh or mock you or whatever your other fears are. I know sometimes it's hard to believe, trust me, but people do care about you. So fucking much."

Richie smiled at Eddie's little speech before saying, "Since when were you a motivational speaker Eds?" lightening up the conversation a bit. Eddie laughed and leaned into Richie from where his lanky arm was still thrown over Eddie's shoulders. Richie knew deep down the losers cared for him and would do anything to help him. It's just sometimes it was impossible to believe anyone would even want to care about him or like him. Or if he let too much out the people who did care would leave because he was such a shitty person living such a shitty life.

The conversation remained more light heartened as they approached Bill's house- Bill, Ben  and Bev were there as usual and Richie swore he saw them all look at him with a sympathetic look before quickly smiling and greeting him and Eds like everything was normal. Like they didn't know anything. It was at this point Richie removed his arm from Eddie's shoulders- he'd always do it around the losers but was now suddenly nervous to do it in case they became suspicious of whatever him and Eddie became the day before. If they became anything at all.

The walk remained normal as they met up with Stan and as they eventually met with Mike at school. Homeroom was normal- a lot better than yesterday's- and period 1 was normal. The whole day just went by like nothing had happened, and for most of them nothing had happened except Richie avoiding them for the previous day. Well, in Eddie's case a lot had happened but that was Eds. Richie was very grateful- he hated sympathy. He didn't want Eddie telling them all too much, in case they all suddenly saw him as this victim who needed protecting. Richie didn't need protecting, he just wanted a normal, peaceful life.

School remained normal for the rest of the week. Richie didn't cry or hide or run away once, no one asked him anything except Eddie- who whenever they were alone checked up on him and reassured him that everything was okay and that Richie was amazing. Richie appreciated that- a lot. Wentworth went back to ignoring him- his bedroom door was unlocked and Went wasn't screaming at him every second of the day. It was weird, Wentworth had two extremes; he was either screaming and beating Richie like there was no tomorrow or just acted like he didn't exist. It was impossible to guess when one state would end and the other begin or how long it would last. That was the worst part, like on Sunday when Wentworth went from ignoring Richie for a month to punching his face and smashing his phone.

 

*

 

On Friday it was decided the losers would have another movie night at Bill's as everyone enjoyed it last week. Richie wasn't sure if he'd be able to go but assured everyone he'd try to make it. Everyone also agreed on using Netflix this time- as it would be easier and to please Stan they planned out the movies at lunch.

"Can we not watch any scary movies this time, I hated the one we watched last week," Eddie pleaded

"You know you loved having an excuse to hide in my shoulder Eds," Eddie blushed a little before telling Richie to shut up.

"Guys we still have no movies. We need to figure it out before tonight," it had been 6 minutes and Stan was already worrying.

"S-stan it w-w-worked ou-out la-ast t-time, if w-we can't-t work i-it out n-now i-it'll b-b-be f-fine," Bill tried reassuring him

"Can we please just figure it out now," Stan practically begged.

"I vote a horror film. Eddie you'll be fine," Bev unsurprisingly said

"If Eddie doesn't want to watch one then we shouldn't watch one. There's plenty of movies we'd all enjoy," Ben suggested

"I don't really care if I'm honest, lets just decide now," Mike chimed in.

"You're starting to sound like Stanley the Manley over there," Richie joked

The group carried on discussing/arguing over what to watch before deciding on Central Intelligence, Paul, Alex Strangelove and The Purge (much to Eddie's disappointment). Richie was excited for the movie night (if he'd be able to go), despite last week's being the initial cause of Wentworth's anger he also got to fall asleep essentially spooning Eddie- and anywhere that wasn't his house was a paradise at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY I HATED THIS ONE AGHH  
> I didn't know how to end it at all- or start or middle it  
> I don't want everything to happen so quickly but I also fell like these chapters are all just boring filler??? idk  
> I'll try to make it more exciting soon I promise <333


	7. we're not wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kinda rly like this one, it's just lots of cute Reddie moments tbh

It turns out that Wentworth did go back to ignoring Richie. The losers planned to meet at Bill's right after school- however, Richie said he'd either show up at around 8 so he could try to ask Went or not show up at all. Wentworth got home at 7.45 and Richie waited until 7.55 to try to ask. He had his stuff all packed up and in his doorway so he could get out as quickly as possible before Wentworth changed his mind, if he let him go at all. Richie just so happened to choose a good time to go downstairs and ask- Went was on the phone to some colleague and as Richie slowly approached him Wentworth didn't even acknowledge his presence. Richie tried asking quietly but the only responce was, "You really think I give a shit Richard? Fuck off where ever while I'm trying to fucking work."

So now it was 8, dark out and Richie was half way to Bill's. He was kind of nervous about showing up to be honest- the other 6 had been there at least 4 hours now and probably assumed he wouldn't show up at all. There was space for them all but after hours of sitting in the same area people tend to just fill up all available space so Richie would most likely end up on the floor. It was fine though, being on the floor surrounded by the losers was better than yet another lonely night in his room flinching at every sound that came from downstairs. Last time they all had a sleepover Richie managed to fall asleep with Eddie, he probably wouldn't be that lucky again but the thought still gave him chills and butterflies. Maybe when he got there Eddie would make room for him and then cuddle up next to him as they put on one of Bev's horror films. Or Eddie would be up against one of the others, hiding in their arm. No- Eds wouldn't do that would he? Him and Richie were- well they weren't anything yet, but they still had something between them. But Eddie probably didn't even see last Friday as 'something' in any way, shape or form. Richie was just over thinking. He would knock on the door, Bill would let him in and then Richie would sit on the floor next to Stan in the beanbag Stan always claimed and put in the same position in front of the couch. Then he'd fall asleep on an airbed or a chair or couch. It would be fine.

Richie finally got to Bill's after what felt like forever and was surprised to see it was Eddie that opened the door. Richie crouched down to put his things next to the doorway where everyone else dumped their stuff and as he stood back up was surprised when Eddie hugged him. It was a tight hug. One of those sudden and protective hugs,

"I was worried you weren't coming," Eddie mumbled into Richie's chest. Richie rested his chin on the smaller boys head and hugged him back, just as tightly. Only after checking the others wouldn't see- obviously.

"And why wouldn't I come Eds?"

"Because its 8.30 and you said you'd be here by 8- I thought you asked and then after last week Went got mad and- and- well you know, like I thought he-"

"Oh Eddie Spaghetti do you know how cute you are when you worry?" Eddie looked up at Richie, the two still hugging tightly before Richie continued, "Wentworth just shouted at me to leave so he could carry on with work. I left like half an hour ago, sorry. I walk slower when I think I guess."

Eddie gave Richie one more tight squeeze before letting go and leading him into the living room. There was some movie on, Richie couldn't be bothered to ask. Ben and Bev were both snuggled up in the armchair, Richie had obviously missed out on something. Stan and Bill were unsurprisingly on the beanbags and Mike was on the couch. Everyone greeted Richie for a second before focusing on the movie again, Richie glanced at the screen and it looked like he'd interrupted a more serious scene. Richie sat on the couch with his back against one of the armrests and stretched his legs out over Mike's lap before Eddie could sit next to him, Messing with Eds was one o Richie's favorite things to do, only slightly after kissing and hugging him. As soon as Richie put his legs in Mike's lap Eddie crossed his arms and furrowed his brows,

"Richie fucking move your lanky ass legs!" Eddie whisper shouted, trying not to disturb the movie for the others

"Oh Eds- you're so cute when you're annoyed. cute, cute,  _cute!_ "

This only made Eddie more annoyed, "Richie don't call me Eds! And you know I hate being called cute. Just shut the fuck up and move your legs!"

"Will you two shut up!" Stan snapped from the floor and Richie suddenly felt embarrassed. He just called Eds cute in front of all of the losers, sure he always had but now- now it felt different. He didn't want them suspecting anything. He couldn't have them suspect anything. So he quickly moved his legs, allowing a now slightly annoyed Eddie to sit next to him.

They watched movies until 1 in the morning before Bill decided to turn the TV off and try to go to sleep. Mike was already fast asleep on the couch and so were Ben and Bev in the chair- which was an adorable sight. As Bill's family only needed 3 airbeds for when they went camping or some other trip (two singles and a double) it meant unless someone wanted to sleep on half of a couch or on top of Bev and Ben two of the remaining 4 would have to share a double bed for the night. Eddie and Richie obviously didn't mind sharing but Richie wouldn't voice that. He just sat silently waiting for Eddie to suggest it.

"Bill it's your house so you shouldn't have to share," Eddie whispered- not to wake the others, "and I don't mind sharing. Richie we shared the couch last time? Want to just share again?"

Richie took a second to respond, not wanting to sound eager, "Sure thing Eddie Spaghetti."

Stan looked between the Richie and Eddie- the two of them were now just looking at each other. It was weird, but then again it's Richie and Eddie. So he left it be. The 4 of them set up the beds as quietly as possible before getting changed. By the time they were actually getting into bed it was closer to 2. Richie laid down facing Eddie and gave him a toothy smile. Eddie smiled back and then the two just looked at each other, not in a weird way. Nothing about Eddie was weird to Richie- and everything about Richie was weird to Eddie. But in the best way possible. It was a comfortable look- peaceful stares that both boys felt good in. Almost protective, like when with each other they were completely separate from the rest of the world. They still hadn't really spoken about what they were with each other, just Richie occasionally asking Eddie if it meant anything and Eddie reassuring him it did. Richie decided that at this moment all he wanted to do was hug Eddie, he'd been studying his features for too long now and needed to touch him. Like their hug earlier. He'd felt safe then, like his little Eds Spaghetts could protect him from anything.

Richie scooted slightly closer to Eddie, testing the waters, Eddie closed the gap between them a few moments later, resting his head on Richie's chest and forcing Richie to turn and lay on his back. Richie pulled Eds even closer soon after by wrapping his arm around the smaller boys body- resulting in a satisfied sigh from Eddie. Richie quickly thought about what would happen if the others woke up and saw them- what they'd say and assume and how they'd judge him. However, all his worries flooded away when he felt Eddie's consistent and soft breaths against his chest. As Richie found himself worry less it was easier to allow himself to drift off to sleep.

 

*

 

Richie woke up on his side- arms wrapped around Eddie's Shoulders with his hands on Eddie's back and his face buried in the shorter boy's hair. Eddie had his arms around Richie's waist and his face still pressed against his chest. Their legs were tangled together under the many blankets and bodies pressed tightly together. Richie stretched his neck back, trying to both not wake Eddie up and not ruin the position they were in but panic rushed through him as he noticed all the others were gone. Shit. They were awake and probably saw how him and Eddie were and would now be weirded out and not want to talk to him and-

"Richie, Jesus Christ are you trying to suffocate me?" Eddie mumbled, Richie had strengthened his grip on Eddie while panicking and now Eddie snapped him out of it, he noticed he was suddenly sweating too.

"S-sorry Eds."

"Richie are you okay? You look ill... Are you ill? Oh my god what if I catch it-"

"No Eds I'm not ill. I wouldn't go near my little spaghetti man ill, wouldn't want to contaminate him now would I?"

"Richie stop joking around, whats wrong?"

"...The- the others. What if they saw us- I mean what if when they saw us laying like... This... they'll suspect shit!"

Eddie laughed a little at Richie, "Richie- first of all, they wouldn't give a shit. Okay? They're good people. And secondly, Bill and Stan have been asking me all week. Since y'know, Monday happened. Apparently we've been acting different at school too dipshit."

"Di-did you tell them? Eddie what if they hate us? Or they don't want to talk to us?"

"Richie calm down, I denied it. Sure they'll definitely suspect it more now. But it'll be fine."

Richie started freaking out more now, and felt himself lean into Eddie as if he was programmed to do so, "But they know Eds. They know," Richie's breathing was deeper and his eyes were getting watery now, "It's wrong and they know- what if they tell Bowers and-"

"Hey guys, breakfast's read- Richie are you okay," Mike came in and obviously noticed Richie having a slight panic attack.

"He's fine Mike, thanks. It was just a... Nightmare," Eddie tried reassuring Mike.

Mike didn't look convinced but didn't press it any further, "Well when you're ready come eat I guess."

After Mike left Eddie looked at Richie, and just stared at him for a seconds before whispering, "It's not wrong Richie. We aren't wrong- or sick or fucked in the head. I really, really care about you and you really, really care about me. In what world is that wrong?"

"But... We're faggots Eds. It's... You're not meant to be fags."

Eddie glanced at the living room doorway for a second to check if anyone was there, the cost was clear (everyone was probably eating by now) and Eddie did something he never though he'd do, he grabbed Richie's face and pulled it to his. This was their first kiss since Richie's emotional breakdown on Monday, but something about it made it better, more meaningful. Until Richie jumped at hearing something fall to the ground somewhere near the entrance to the living room and turned to the whatever was there (turning beet red in the process) and he saw a stunned Bill in the entrance. He looked at Eddie and saw Eddie was just as- if not more- red. Bill just looked speechless, and really guilty after walking in on them. Richie looked between Eddie and Bill- Eddie wore an apologetic look and as much as Richie knew Eddie didn't mean for bill to see he still felt anger form in him.

"I-I w-won't t-tell anyone... I m-mean w-we a-all suspected th-things b-but..."

Richie and Eddie were now staring at each other as Bill trailed off, "No," Richie said bluntly- still looking Eddie dead in the eyes, "Tell the others. I don't care. Just... I should be getting home anyway."

Richie jumped up from the bed and frantically grabbed his things, still not looking at Bill. Richie didn't even bother getting dressed as he grabbed the last of his stuff and rushed to the door, collecting weird looks from the other losers who could now see him from the kitchen. He did in some way want Bill to tell the others now, it would be weird if only Bill knew. At least if they all knew they could collectively stop talking to him. Not just Bill. Before he left he turned around to look at Bill, who was also looking at him. He saw Eddie packing his things, probably to run after Richie and make sure he was okay. Richie internally smiled at that before looking at the other 4 in the kitchen and back at Bill again.

"Seriously, just fucking tell them. I get it if you don't... Like I'll just leave, you don't have to talk to me."

Bill looked more stunned at this then he had at the sight of the two boys kissing, "W-wait... R-Riche I d-don't c-care. W-we d-don't care..."

The others had now come closer to the situation but before anything else could be said Eddie finished packing and Richie rushed them out the house before he broke down in tears in front of all of them. If he was leaving he wasn't leaving like a pussy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof I prefer this chapter, I think it's one of my favorites  
> please let me know what you think! I love the few pieces of feedback I've gotten, it's always so sweet and motivating to keep writing <3333


	8. I'm so proud of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this ones another shorter, happy chapter :)

Richie couldn't stop worrying about what everyone would think. He'd gotten home on Saturday and ran straight up to his room and then just stayed there all day. He was convinced everyone would be disgusted with him and not want anything to do with him. Eddie tried calming him down and making him go back to Bill's but Richie couldn't go back  even if he wanted to at that point. You don't just storm out of someone's house to sulk back in 10 minutes later. Eddie ended up going back, only after walking Richie to his house and making sure he'd be okay. Richie knew that he was being over the top to an extent but he couldn't help it. What if Richie was completely disregarded as a loser? Or they told other people at school? What if Henry or Patrick found out? In Richie's head when something went slightly wrong everyone became an enemy, Richie had trust issues as it was. Everyone was a threat- except Eddie Spaghetti. Thinking back to it Richie probably upset Eddie by running away. Shit, what if Eddie was mad at Richie for getting embarrassed and decided to end whatever they were and then Richie didn't even have Eds? No, Eddie wouldn't do that, he hugged Richie for like 10 minutes just letting Richie cry at the side of Richie's house where no one could see them before Richie stormed up to his room. Eddie was hoping Richie would calm down and just go back to Bill's and Richie kind of wanted to do that too but he was far too stubborn and he'd most definitely end up freaking out again and then everyone would not only see him as a faggot but also bat-shit-crazy.

So now Richie was still sulking in his room half way through Sunday desperately trying to convince himself that none of the losers give a shit about him and Eddie because both Bill and Eddie said so but still managing to fall into his self-hatred, convincing himself that everyone would be mad and disgusted. He also found himself worrying about what Eddie would've said either at Bill's house or on the group chat. It was obvious that Eddie was scared too, Richie could tell. It was a miracle Eddie didn't end up having an asthma attack as Richie was having his whatever-attack. Richie assumes Eddie was trying to stay strong for Richie, it's what Richie normally did for Eddie when something bad happened. The idea was sweet but also annoyed Richie further in a way, Eddie wasn't meant to be worrying about Richie, Richie has too many problems. He's already fucked up so he can handle them. Eddie shouldn't have to handle them too. Or Eddie wasn't worrying because there was nothing to worry over and Richie was just being a pussy. Maybe Wentworth was just right- he was right about Richie being a faggot and now he's right about Richie being a fucking pussy too. Richie never should have told Eddie anything and just kept it to himself, his bruise was fading more and more he only would've had to hide for a couple of weeks and everything would still be normal-

"Richard!" Maggie shouted from downstairs, "2 of your friends are at the door!"

It was probably Eds. Definitely Eds. The others wouldn't come without Eds would they? Eds and maybe Bev? That would be fine, he could talk to them.

"Richard hurry up! Don't leave them waiting!"

What did they want to say to him? Or were they going out... But why would they want him there?

"Richard!"

Richie finally started to make his way downstairs, he got a glance in the mirror on the way and could tell he looked absolutely awful. He'd be fine though. As he walked down the stairs the doorway came into view and he saw Eds and Stan standing there awkwardly, with Maggie frowning at him. Richie smiled at his mother before walking out onto the porch and closing the door shut behind him, "Hi," he mumbled to his friend and whatever Eddie was at this moment.

"Hey," Stan said quietly as he smiled at Richie, "Eddie thought some of us should come see you- Bill wanted to come but we all know he stutters way too much when he's nervous. So I'm here."

"Why though?" Richie was genuinely confused, he looked at Eddie who seemed really upset. Oh no. Was Eds upset with him? What did he do? Before Richie could carry on panicking Eddie hugged him, not a tight hug like when Richie arrived at Bill's on Friday, more of a looser hug which included both of Eddie's arms around Richie's waste and after a few seconds one of Richie's arms over Eddie's shoulders. Stan stood smiling at them, he almost looked proud, before Eddie chimed in, "No one's mad or disgusted or even finds it weird in the slightest, Richie. I went back yesterday after I dropped you off here. No one cares and we want you to come to the quarry with us. I need you to come with us- so I know you're safe."

"Yeah Richie, no one was surprised. Honestly. And we really couldn't give less of a shit what you two are, we do give a shit though when you run off like you did. We were all worried."

Richie felt a huge, genuine smile come to his face- he did feel bad after his erupt exit on Saturday a bit but he could tell Stan had meant every word he said, "Stanley Uris. Stan the fucking Man just said he was worried about me? Who are you and where is the real Stanley the Manley?"

"Shut up with those bullshit names or I'm taking it all back. Now are you coming to the quarry or not?"

"Okay, okay," Richie started- far happier than he was 5 minutes ago, "As you begged so much I will come. And uhh... Thanks for coming. I thought you'd all hate me for leaving or like being... y'know. I just got scared."

"I told you they were good people Richie," Eddie had barely spoken, he instead opted for the hugging Richie approach while he let Stan talk, but it seemed necessary to reassure Richie at this point.

"Richie as I said, we all expected it. We've been asking Eddie all week. And we wont tell anyone don't worry. I'm sorry we found out when you didn't want us to, I really am. We all are. But just know all of us support you and don't care in the slightest what your sexuality is."

Richie couldn't stop smiling, he convinced himself he'd be completely shunned from the group, "Thanks Stan. You really are the man."

Stan and Eddie had both rode their bikes to Richie's, so Richie had to either share with Stan or Eddie. As much as he would've preferred to share with Eddie, Stan's bike was bigger and Stan was probably stronger. Richie would probably be too lanky for Eddie's bike anyway. The ride to the quarry didn't take long, they were a bit slower because Stan wasn't used to biking with a second person on his bike but they got there in the end. Stan and Eddie stopped their bikes where the others had left theirs, just behind the rocks where they were all sitting. Eddie and Stan greeted the others as they usually would but Richie couldn't help but feel slightly awkward. But then again when hadn't he felt awkward recently? As he got off Stan's bike and turned around to face the group Beverly was running towards him, when she got to him she launched herself at him and hugged him, just as tight as Eddie did on Friday- but it felt completely different.

"I'm so proud of you," Bev whispered so only Richie could hear it, "Eddie told us everything about the two of you, how it started on Monday and just how Bill saw and everything."

Richie felt himself grinning like an idiot once again before whispering "thanks, I only knew I liked him because of you though."

Bev unwrapped her arms from Richie, allowing him to see the others talking with each other before looking back at Beverly as she whispered, "Well, I told you so," before turning back to the group. Richie followed Bev, expecting at least Bill to mention him and Eddie but, surprisingly, no one did. Richie sat down next to Eds and put his arm around Eddie. He may as well- if all the losers know him and Eddie may as well be comfortable around them. No one even paid a bit of attention to it, like it was something he and Eddie had always done. Thinking about it in a way it wasn't really any different. Richie had always hugged Eds, the only thing that really changed about them now was that they kissed twice. Richie had always been physically closer with Eds and did smaller things like that- they just meant something now.

Mike had brought his speaker with him so they were all taking it in turns to choose songs- everyone hated pretty much every song that wasn't their own choice as they all liked such different styles, so instead decided to just turn the music off and go swimming instead. Seeing each other in their underwear was normal at this point, Bev would always wear a bathing suit but the boys would just stay in their underwear. They used to argue over who would jump in first but now it was just whoever was ready first would jump first. Today Bill and Mike were in first, followed by Bev, Stan and then Ben. Richie was ready before Stan- but wanted to talk to Eddie quickly.

"Eds?"

"Yeah Rich?"

"What did you tell them? I don't mind- obviously. I told Bill to tell everyone. But, what did you say?"

"I told them how on Monday I ran out the cafeteria because I saw you, which they already assumed, and that we kissed before skipping 5th and 6th period. Then I told them that over the week we must have just started acting slightly different for them to suspect anything and then on Friday Bill saw us kiss. That's it."

"I really convinced myself they'd be mad Eds," Richie looked down at the other 5 losers swimming around below them.

"And I told you they wouldn't be."

"Were you not scared though, on Friday?"

"Obviously idiot. But me freaking out as well as you freaking out would've been a nightmare."

"Probably quite amusing for the others though; Trashmouth and Spaghetti man both hyperventilating on an airbed after sucking face."

"Richie shut up. Don't call me that- and we were hardly sucking face. Look let's just swim with the rest of them."

The two boys jumped together and spent the rest of the afternoon splashing with each other and their friends. Richie always loved coming to the quarry, they didn't do it as much anymore as they were slightly older now, it just felt so separate and peaceful from the rest of Derry. He was in a place without Wentworth or Maggie, without Henry and his gang of dip shits, without all the hateful and spiteful people who lived in their awful town. It was a place where the losers could just be them without worrying about anything else.

 


	9. Stanley the Manley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Stan and Richie being great friends because Stozier is my favorite friendship and we all need a bit of Stan appreciation in our lives

Eddie was the first to go home- he was already pushing the limits on his curfew and Sonia could be a real bitch when she wanted to be. Mike had to go next- he had to do stuff around the barn before school on Monday. Bev and Ben disappeared next, Richie had definitely missed something on Friday and then something else during his strop because the two of them were suddenly a lot closer. Richie, Stan and Bill spoke for a while, it was weird just the three of them. Even before Ben, Bev and Mike joined the group of misfits it was never just the three of them. Eddie was always there, but it still was nice. They spoke for most of the evening until Bill decided to head off. Leaving Stan and Richie. Back in the early years of the boys' friendship it was always Bill & Eddie and Stan & Richie. They were all best friends, but there were definitely two pairs within the group. Eventually Things shifted a little and Richie and Eddie started confiding in each other more as Bill and Stan did the same thing. It wasn't a huge change because the four of them were so close however, it was different. Slightly. That whole framework changed completely midway through last year when Mike joined them and then again when Mike brought Ben and Bev to the group too. Once four became seven there wasn't really best friends anymore. Stan and Bill still trusted each other most though, and Richie trusted Eds and now Bev slightly more than the others. He still trusted Stan (and all the other losers) with his life though. So it was nice sitting with Stan by themselves at the quarry. It had felt like centuries since Richie had been able to just talk to Stan, almost as if they needed to catch up with each other. 

"I was wondering how long it would take you to realize you liked Eddie," Stan said out of nowhere, after Bill left the two had been sitting in a comfortable silence for about 10 minutes. Their friendship had always been like that, like they were so different from each other and such opposite extremes they contrasted in a way that made them both calm and relaxed. Richie would be lying if he said he missed his conversations with Stan. Stan would never admit it but he, in a weird way, missed Richie's one on one company too.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I mean you've always liked him Rich. Sometimes it was truly painful to watch."

"I only started  _liking_ him two weeks ago."

"You two have been pining over each other since we fucking met."

Richie fell silent for a second, "Not really... How?"

Stan laughed a bit, "The way you looked at each other, the nicknames, the constant touching. It's not a bad thing, I'm just happy you two finally figured it out."

"Stan my Man, Eds Saghetts isn't the only one with glorious nicknames... And did the others think we were like... Did the others agree?"

"I asked Bill once a few years ago and he called me stupid, Mike and Ben didn't pick up on it I don't think and based on Bev's reaction earlier I'm assuming she thought- or knew- something was up."

"Bev's the one that told me it was a crush."

Stan turned his head to look at Richie, the two had been staring over the quarry looking at the sky change colors during the sun set, "Wait, that what was a crush?"

"Me noticing everything about Eds. Like me liking his freckles, mannerisms, voice. How I thought those stupid shorts he wears were cute."

"I'm sorry but how did you not realize that was a crush?"

Stan was chuckling again, and Richie joined in until he started thinking about it more deeply, "I didn't want to be gay I guess. I was scared to admit it."

"Oh, well that's understandable," Stan stopped laughing too and took a more serious tone, "people in this town are fucked up with their bullshit views."

"My da- Wentworth calls me a faggot all the time. I didn't want him to be right."

"What do you mean?"

Richie realized he'd never really told Stan anything about his home life and went quiet for a second, thinking about what he should say, "Went's a fucking asshole. I know Eds told you he's the one that bruised me and shit, it's a... A frequent thing. He calls me a faggot and pussy too, and if I'm lucky I'll also get 'piece of shit son' or 'worthless'"

"He isn't right about you. At all."

"How? Unless you couldn't tell Stan my man I'm kind of a faggot now."

"Now? Trust me it's been a while. And that's not what I mean, you're not a piece of shit and your not a pussy."

"But I'm a faggot."

"Who says that's an insult?"

"Literally everyone Stan, I don't get your point."

"I'm just saying I'm pretty sure you and your dad are using the term 'faggot' in different contexts and you shouldn't listen to his bullshit."

"Henry calls me a faggot too."

"Richie, Henry fucking Bowers can suck my dick."

"Now who's the faggot?" Richie laughed at his stupid attempt of a joke.

"Oh please, it would take a lot more than him to turn me gay."

"It took a small spaghetti noodle to turn me gay."

"You're names are just getting worse and worse, did you know that?"

"Stanley the Manley! You are too hurtful!"

"Shut the fuck up."

 

*

 

Richie couldn't help but grin as he walked to Eddie's house, it was their first day at school since the losers found out about them and although they weren't going to publicize it to the school- ever- they could sit closer or be different around the losers now. There were plenty of rumors already circulating about every loser anyway, so anyone not at their table probably wouldn't even care if Richie's arms were over Ed's shoulders or Eddie leaned into him more. They'd all just be caught up in who Beverly supposedly fucked this week and how Mike's dad was apparently arrested or a junkie or beat someone up or how Eddie sucked some guy's dick over the weekend. Shit, no he couldn't go near Eddie at school. People would easily pick up on that and call them faggots and then Henry, Patrick, Belch and Victor would just have more to be assholes about. But Richie couldn't ignore Eddie? No, that would just make both of them cry eventually and Eddie hate Richie. So how are they meant to act? Ben and Bev sit closer and the worst that's come out of that is  _'I wonder how much he's paying her?'_ and  _'nah she'd do anyone for free'_. If people started saying stuff about Richie and Eddie they would literally have to move schools. People in Derry fucking hate queers of any kind; faggots, dykes, trannies, cuntboys, dickgirls, the list of slurs goes on. Then there's questions like  _'who's the girl'_ and  _'who's taking it up the ass'_ and knowing people at school they'd assume Eddie was 'bottom' or whatever because he's shorter and... Would there be a top and bottom? Richie never thought about anything with Eds, they weren't even officially a thing but people would assume they were...

Richie snapped out of his thoughts, he shouldn't be thinking that shit now. He was near Eddie's house anyway. In like two minutes he'd see Eddie and everything would be normal and school would be fine and there aren't tops and bottoms or girls and boys because they're both boys and not even dating. As Richie approached Eddie the grin that was permanently on his face since Stan and Eddie collected him yesterday before they went to the quarry became even bigger. Everything over the weekend just went right- the Friday movie night was fun and although he spent Saturday freaking out Sunday completely made up for it. Him and Eddie could be whatever in front of their friends and Richie felt like him and Stan were suddenly far closer, he didn't even realize how much they had distanced from each other. It obviously wasn't a lot because they're still best friends- like all the losers. Just now it feels refreshing knowing him and Stan are still, well them.

Richie and Eddie greeted each other as they usually did, full of joy and Richie swung an arm over Eddie's shoulders- as he did since he realized Eds hated being short right when they started being friends. It used to be another way of annoying Eds but now he doesn't seem to mind it. Richie recons Eds doesn't really mind the nicknames either but he's not going to call Eds out on his bullshit. Eddie getting 'annoyed' is half of the fun. The two of them really haven't changed since the advancement in their relationship. Richie kept thinking about it, especially after his and Stan's conversation. He supposes he always had liked Eddie. He just scared himself out of the idea of it. But Stan was right, Stan the Man was always right. That's another thing that started early in the loser's friendship- always trust Stan the Man because he knows his shit. If they had a bible or some shit it'd probably be one of the commandments- thy shall always listen to Stan thee Man. Richie couldn't help but laugh to himself.

"What are you laughing at?" Eddie asked, who was in the middle of telling a story about something.

"I think if we had a bible one of the amendments would be to always listen to Stanley the Manley."

"I think you mean commandments. And I'm totally telling him you said that."

"You say it like it's an insult Eddie Spaghetti!"

"Don't call me that, Richie. And it's not an insult, he'd almost definitely appreciate it."

"What should it be then? Eds Spaghetts? Edward Spaghettward? Ooh I like that one- Edward Spagettward!"

"Just shut up Richie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of like this one? idk I love Stanley as a character and wanted to do like a little chapter about him <3333


	10. I'm just glad I have you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so it's Eddie's birthday and they all have a party  
> However I did just realize Eddie's birthday is in November and they were swimming in the quarry last chapter so...  
> Oh look a convenient time skip :))  
> idk how the weather is in maine but lets just pretend they have warm Septembers & early octobers like where I live so the timeline makes sense ;)

Things had been good for the past month or so. Wentworth still hit and shouted at Richie but that would probably never stop and if it got too bad Eddie didn't mind Richie sneaking into his room; Richie would go in, Eddie would hug him and sometimes one or both of them would cry. If necessary Eds would get one of his many first aid kits and after Richie was fixed the two would fall asleep together and Richie would sneak back to his house before Maggie went in his room to wake him up for school. It worked well. Richie told the losers more about his problems too, not all of it to all of them at once like a dramatic story time, but if he was just with one or two of them and it came up he felt comfortable talking to them. Henry and his dipshit sidekicks still tormented the group whenever given the chance but Richie was used to that by now too. So it was good, everything was fine and Richie for once was really, truly happy. Him and Eddie were still whatever they were, nothing official was ever said but it felt like a weird limbo area between a friendship and a relationship. Richie honestly didn't really care what it was but was just glad he had it.

It was Eddie's birthday today and Richie spent 2 weeks putting together a playlist for Eddie. Eds used Spotify a lot and Richie thought it could be one of those cute, meaningful presents. However, because he didn't have any device he could make an actual playlist on he just wrote out all the songs on a piece of A6 card and decorated it, he wasn't a great artist but he tried to draw him and Eddie on the back of the card and drew little rainbows around the songs because rainbows are gay and Eddie Kaspbrak is pretty fucking gay. He also tried his best to draw some spaghetti and trashcans because it needed to be special. At first Richie didn't think he'd be able to get Eddie anything at all as he had no money and the only thing he'd get if he asked his parents for some money was a bruise or two. It made Richie feel like shit for a few days until Bev and Ben suggested a playlist- they had officially started getting together and said it was a cute 'coupley' thing they did a few times.

As much as he tried to not make the playlist sappy and cheesy there were quite a few love songs on there. He tried to add some of Eddie's favorite songs from over the years as well as some of his own favorites and songs that reminded him of either Eddie or them as a duo/couple thing. As he finished the drawings he studied the card and it looked pretty good, the faces he drew on the back were recognizable as them and the trashcans and spaghetti added a personal touch. He'd managed to think of 26 songs that could be added, but would probably make a part 2 eventually. It was almost time to leave for school as Richie wrote 'Trashmouth & Spaghetti Man' above the drawings of him and Eddie, carefully put the card in his coat pocket and headed to the door.

After school all the losers were going to Mike's, his barn was huge and he'd managed to convince his dad to let the losers throw a surprise party there. It was difficult to plan, as Eddie's birthday was a Wednesday Mike, Bill and Stan set up some of the party on Monday and Mike, Richie, Ben and Bev finished it up on Tuesday- that way both days half of them were still free and Eddie wouldn't suspect anything. Eddie also had a strict curfew of 7pm- meaning after the 20 minute walk to Mike's and then the 15 minute walk back to Eddie's Eddie would only be there for just over 3 hours, which was a while but they would normally hang out for twice or three times as long on the weekends, so it probably wouldn't feel like much. Unless they somehow convinced Eddie to skip last period? That would be an extra 50 minutes- or 100 minutes if they left right after lunch? They'd figure that out later- or maybe the others had over text and Richie would get filled in later.

Richie put his hand in the pocket with Eddie's playlist as he neared the Spaghetti household. Eddie, as always, was out front. As it was slightly colder now Eddie had about 100 layers on as well as a stupidly adorable beanie, gloves and scarf that all matched, "Happy birthday Spaghetti!" Richie shouted as he approached the smaller boy, "How's it feel being 16?"

"No different, as usual. Mom got me a pair of jeans and some shoes as well as making some dry, probably shitty cake for later."

"Sounds great Spaghetti!"

"Can you please stop calling me that, it's my birthday!"

"No can do Eds! And here's your present," Richie grabbed the now slightly creased card from his pocket and handed it to Eddie as he swung an arm over Eddies shoulders like he would every morning, "I couldn't afford anything and asking Went or Maggie for money is a lost cause. I hope you like it."

"Trashmouth and Spaghetti Man," Eddie read out loud,"It's a playlist, right? I love it Rich, honestly. I'll set it up on Spotify in homeroom. Oh my God, the rainbows are adorable! And are they us? You're so good at drawing Richie!"

"You don't like the trashcans and Spaghetti?"

"Of course I do stupid, I love all of it. I'm sure the musics great too."

"Sorry it's only a piece of paper though, if I could I would've gotten something better."

Eddie stopped walking and turned to face Richie, after making sure they were on a quieter street and no one was around them. He pulled Richie into a hug and looked up at Richie, who was smiling but obviously felt bad for whatever reason, "Richie I fucking love it. Don't feel bad because honestly you could've gotten me a cup of dirt and it would be my favorite thing. I'm just glad I have you at the end of the day."

_I'm just glad I have you_

The words replayed in Richie's head a few times and he could feel himself blush. he tilted his head down and kissed Eddie's forehead before breaking the hug and putting his arm around Eddie's shoulder again so they could carry on walking.

 

*

 

"I think I'm going to ask him to be my boyfriend," Richie stated out of nowhere to Bev and Stan at break.

"Wait what? When? How? For his birthday?" Stan questioned

"Yes! Oh my god! I've been waiting for this day since I told you you liked him!" Bev exclaimed.

"I was thinking I would walk him home later and ask him then, it could be like sweet and personal. I don't know should I? What if he says no?"

"Richie you'd be an idiot to think he'd say no," Stan reassured

"Kaspbrak is head over fucking heels for you. He'd say yes in a heartbeat," Beverly agreed.

"I just really want to. We've been unofficial for ages and obviously we wouldn't be out- but I want to be with him. Especially after this morning."

"Wait hold up- what happened this morning?" Beverly seemed suddenly even more interested

"I was just in class with you and you didn't tell me something happened this morning?" Stan jokingly asked.

"Oh it wasn't big or anything guys," Richie started, "He just... I felt bad about not getting him an actual gift and then he said 'I'm just glad I have you' and now I can't stop thinking about it and I'm fucking glad as hell I have him and-"

"Rich," Stan interrupted, "We get it. You're obsessed. So yes- definitely ask him out."

"Oh my God I can't wait! He'll be so happy Rich, honestly." Beverly was now enthusiastically clapping her hands at the idea

"Okay- yeah. I definitely will. He'll say yes and it'll be great."

 

*

 

Lunch was going good so far. Beverly told Richie in Social studies that Ben and her had made a cake for Eddie at lunch time and they were going to try to convince him to just skip to go to the quarry or something but actually take him to Mike's where the party was fully set up- and if he didn't agree to that they'd just go after school. However right now they were in the cafeteria eating the amazing chocolate cake made by Ben and Bev and Eddie seemed extremely happy- he had gotten a Spotify premium gift card from Beverly, which accidentally went with Richie's present perfectly. Ben got him a water bottle with timings down the side because it reminded him of Eddie and seemed like something Eddie would use, which was true- chances are now Eddie will update the group on his water intake as well as freak out if he doesn't drink enough. It also gave Richie something else to tease him about- which was great. Beverly got him a whole bag of candy Sonia wouldn't let him eat; snickers bars, sour patch kids, m&m's, reece's pieces and every other candy or chocolate imaginable. Richie would make sure to steal some later. Eds wouldn't mind. Bill got him a pair of headphones, Stan got him a $10 bill because he's not creative and Mike got him a some fancy scented hand sanitizers. Eddie seemed happy with all of it, which made Richie happy. The cake was delicious too- Eddie cut it into 8 slices; one for each loser and an extra slice to be added to the candy bag he was going to smuggle in his house for later. Miraculously Eddie also agreed to skip 5th and 6th- Richie was amazed he actually said he'd go- it was probably just the excitement of his birthday making it so he wasn't thinking like he normally would and him just wanting to have a fun birthday.

 

*

 

The barn looked great, they'd managed to walk down there in only 15 minutes which was pretty impressive. There were blankets and beanbags on the floor as well as a small table ready for the food that was all sealed by the beanbags next to a stack of bowels. Mike, Bill and Stan had all gone shopping on Monday and gathered a large selection of chips and candy. There were balloons of various colors all over the floor as well as streamers hanging off the walls and ceiling. It wasn't much but it's what Eddie would want, just a nice and small private thing.

"Guys this is amazing!" Eddie was smiling ear to ear, "I didn't think you guys would do anything."

"It was Mike and Richie's idea," Stan started to explain, "but we all thought you'd appreciate it."

"It's amazing guys, really, this is so good!" Eddie hugged all of the losers before running over and jumping on one of the beanbags, "Oh my god you got so much food!"

The others went and joined Eddie on the beanbags. Everyone instantly opened pretty much all the food and either dumped it in bowls or just kept it in the bags, the table ended up being pretty useless. They all sung happy birthday to Eddie at least 10 times and Eds got flustered every time- Richie found it adorable. It was the most fun the losers had in a while, their Friday movie nights had become pretty regular (Richie had to miss a few due to Wentworth but it was fine) but this little gathering was special, it meant more. After a couple of hours they decided to play truth or dare, it wouldn't be as interesting as it would be if they were drinking but too many losers had a problem with alcohol to even try that shit. Mike's parents would also freak out if they had any form of alcohol, so sober truth or dare it was."

"I think it's only fair the birthday spaghetti has to go first."

"No Richie, I should get to ask someone first. And don't call me birthday spaghetti ever again."

"Nah Eddie, you should definitely go first. It's like another present from us all!" Beverly agreed with Richie

 "Exactly Eds, it's your birthday privilege!"

"I don't want a birthday privilege! I should get to choose who goes first."

"W-we all h-have to g-go anyway E-Eddie, a-and y-you do d-deserve a p-privilege," Bill agreed laughing with the others.

"Eddie you should be thanking us for being so thoughtful," Mike added.

"You guys are actually the worst. Fine, I choose truth."

"And Spaghetti has chosen!"

"Just hurry up with your question dumbasses."

"Oh I have one," Richie shouted, "What's your favorite thing about me?" Richie wiggled his brows at Eddie waiting for his answer.

Eddie looked Richie up and down before finally answering, "As much as I hate to admit it, probably your annoying ass personality. And your hair- your hairs really fluffy." The group laughed and awed at Eddie's answer and Richie just smiled at Eddie- he really was head over heels for this short, adorable boy.

"Should we just go clockwise from Eddie now," Bev suggested, "So Mike next?"

"Sure, I'll go with truth," Mike answered.

"Umm... It's lame but who's your crush?" Ben asked

Mike was quiet for a second before answering, "I don't know... If I had to choose someone I guess... Ella from bio? She's pretty hot."

Richie was next, he'd normally go for a dare but everyone was doing truths so he decided to as well, "As I'm next to Mikey boy I'll choose... Truth."

"Why do you like Eddie? Not in a bad way, sorry that came out wrong," Bev asked, "Like what's your favorite thing about him?"

"What is this? Richie and Eddie confess their love to each other all night?" Stan jokingly asked, earning a few laughs.

"Uhhh..." Richie, similar to Eddie did, looked Eddie up and down thinking of how to answer. There were too many answers honestly, everything about Eds was pretty damn perfect, "Well my little spaghetti bowl. You are adorable and... You understand shit. You just get it."

Eddie smiled at Richie, "I'm not adorable or a spaghetti bowl."

"I think you'll find that you are, in fact, both."

The evening carried on the same way, after Richie Stan had to admit he thought Emma Watson was hot, Ben and Beverly had to kiss, Bill had to lick the floor (which Eddie strongly advised against but Bill did anyway) and Bev had to shove a huge handful of sourpatch kids in her mouth and eat them all at once. Eddie, once again, strongly opposed and started shrieking when Bev started drooling everywhere- making everyone else laugh more. It only felt like minutes before it was 6.30 and Eddie said he had to go, he offered to help clean up but Mike said everyone else could handle it and he shouldn't have to clean on his birthday. Richie started picking up chip packets when Stan elbowed him and whispered, "I thought you had a question to ask your 'little spaghetti noodle'" Richie laughed at Stan using Richie's nickname for Eds and gave him the trash before running after Eddie, shouting goodbyes to the other losers.

"Eds! Wait!" Eddie had already started leaving, after thanking everyone for such a great day, and was already walking down the drive. As Richie ran after Eds he realized he'd forgotten his coat when he felt a sudden slap of coldness as he left the barn, but he needed to talk to Eddie Spaghetti. So he'd just hope someone brought it to school tomorrow, "I thought someone should walk you home."

"Oh, thanks. Like for everything though, today was amazing."

"I hardly planned it, it was mainly done on a groupchat and then Bev filled me in during the day."

"Well Stan said it was your and Mike's idea, so just take the thanks."

The two talked until Richie remembered why he walked with Eds at all. He suddenly got nervous, knowing Stan and Bev would ask him tomorrow, and despite it being freezing out his hands got all clammy, "Uhh Eds. I know you have a curfew and stuff, but like," Richie paused for a second- there was a small public pathway on the side of the road, which seemed like a nicer private area to ask Eds. It was quite dark but they'd be fine,"I need to ask you something. Come here for a second."

Richie lead a now slightly confused Eddie to the opening of the path before taking Eddie's hands in his, "I just wanted to say that I'm glad I have you. I don't really know how to ask this... shit."

"Ask what," Eddie squeezed Richie's hands slightly.

"I really fucking like you Eds, can we like... Be official?"

"Wait like boyfriends?" A huge smile crept onto Eddie's face for probably the hundredth time today.

"Yeah... Boyfriends." 

Eddie didn't reply, instead just pulled Richie's face down to his (trusting the privacy of the path) and locked lips with Richie. This truly was the best birthday he'd ever had, everything was so perfect. After a few moments Eddie pulled away, "Yes, yes, yes! Of course. Oh my god Richie!"

They kissed again, this one lasting longer. Richie pulled away this time, but kept his arms tightly around Eddie's waist and Eddie kept his arms around Richie's neck, "As much as I'd love to make out in the trees, Sonia would kill you if you got home late."

The two boys pulled away from one another and started walking again as Eddie replied, "You really are amazing Rich."

"That's what your mom told me last night."

"beep-beep."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> so as you can tell I'm a huge fan of the IT franchise and I've noticed lots of authors here have tumblrs, should I make one?


	11. leave him the fuck alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protective Richie? I stan.  
> sry this one's short, I wasn't in the mood to rly write today but felt bad about not updating :))

Richie was sat at the lunch table as close to Eddie as humanly possible eating half of Eddie's sandwich- that was an everyday thing now, after that Monday where Richie confessed everything about his home life to Eds (including his lack of food) Eddie had made sure to give Richie half of his sandwich everyday, as well as the chips or chocolate if he didn't want them that day (which was most days). Richie had initially opposed the idea but Eddie insisted he ate a proper meal- and as much as Sonia annoyed Richie, he had to admit she made a pretty good sandwich. The losers were all very happy and proud when Richie and Eddie broke the news to them about being a couple, Richie remembers Beverly jumping up and down whilst clapping her hands, in a similar way she had done when Richie told Stan and her that break time he was going to ask Eddie. Stan the Man was also proud, he just showed it in a more calm way than Beverly had. Richie could tell the others were happy for them too but being closest to Stan and Bev he could read their expressions more. According to Eddie at break as him and Bill were walking to meet the group Bill hugged Eddie and told him he was happy for him, which Richie also found sweet.

A joke within the group now was how Mike, Bill and Stan needed to find someone, as Ben and Bev were a 'kind-of-couple' and Richie and Eds were boyfriends now, it was till weird to think. It'd only been a day so that was to be expected. But if you told Richie a year ago- or even a couple months ago- that he'd end up dating his wonderful Eddie Spaghetti he would have laughed in your face. Richie was glad he was dating Eddie though. He was more than glad- he loved it. He loved Eds. 

_Do I love him?_

_I can't **love** him, surely?_

_Calm down Richie, it's only been a few weeks._

Richie was happy he was dating Eddie, even if it was a secret that only the losers knew about. to be honest, the losers were the only ones who needed to know about it besides Eddie and Richie. In Richie's eyes they were the only people in the world who mattered, so he was glad they got to experience it with him and Spaghetti.

Eddie and Richie finished their lunch and as Eddie always did he packed up their garbage, as well as the other wrappers and stuff on the table and took it to the trash can. However, today he'd managed to time it at the worst possible time- Henry, Patrick, Belch and Vic walked in as Eddie was walking over, and the trash cans were right near the entrance. Eddie tried ignoring the older boys, just kept his head low in an attempt to dodge the bullshit they were going to throw him. He thought that miraculously he'd managed to get by without notice until he felt a hand on the back of his shirt that yanked him back and slammed him into the trash cans with a chorus of  _'faggot'_ and  _'girly boy'_ from the other boys. As soon as the losers heard the slam of Eddie on the trash can they, as well as most of the other people in the canteen, turned to look at what was going on. Richie felt his blood boil and clenched his fists so hard his knuckles went white. Bill noticed and tried to reassure Richie that it'd be fine, they could wait it out and take the bullshit like usual and Eddie would be fine. But Richie was fucking pissed.

Eddie stood up and dusted off his body and without saying a word he tried to calmly walk off. But Henry was having none of it, "Where the fuck are you going faggot?" Henry asked, sneering at the short brunette, before shoving him back once again, this time into the arms of Patrick and Belch. Victor seemed to just stand there, waiting for directions. Richie always thought Victor was a fucking pussy. 

"Just let me fucking go," Eddie sighed, trying desperately to hide how scared he obviously was. Richie almost stormed over until Stan stopped him, "Richie we'll go over there if it gets worse, but you now if we go now they'll just beat the shit out of all of us." Richie knew Stan was right, if it was just Eddie they'd hit him a bit before getting bored and then the losers could rush over and help Eddie up and it would be fine. Walking over would just make the situation more humiliating for everyone.

Henry punched Eddie across the face, hard, before spitting on the floor next to him, obviously waiting to actually spit on him, before sneering once again, "Fucking queers like you make me sick," and then as expected, Henry fucking Bowers spat on Eddie- the disgusting ball of saliva and phlegm landing on his left cheek. How fucking dare he touch Eds.

Richie wasn't thinking as he stormed across the canteen, fists clenched at his side, "Leave him the fuck alone!" Richie shouted a bit too loudly as he pushed Henry from behind, causing him to stumble a bit and he could instantly see concern on Eddie's face. Henry spun around instantly, fury painted all over his face, and Belch and Patrick loosened their grip on Eddie slightly- presumably waiting for further instructions from Henry. Vic also suddenly seemed more alert, he'd probably be ordered to do something to Richie or Eddie soon.

"Well if it isn't the four-eyed faggot coming to save his little queer friend," Henry was clearly pissed at Richie even more than usual- which showed as he shoved Richie so hard he almost fell over.

 "I said leave him the fuck alone," Richie practically charged at Henry and punched him across his face- hitting his nose- as he did so. Henry stood slightly bent over a little bit before wiping his nose of the small bit of blood now running out of it and punching Richie back twice as hard- sending him flying. Richie felt his face sting but he dealt with this shit daily from his father- so he'd be fine. He got up, dusting himself off in a similar manner as Eddie had earlier. Him and Henry were pretty close to each other now- waiting for someone to hit- and Richie did, he punched Henry once again before swiftly kicking between his legs. Unsurprisingly, again, it hardly affected Henry. What the fuck was wrong with him? Belch and Victor were ordered to get Richie and Patrick slammed Eddie into the trash cans for the second time before standing watching still with a firm grip on Eddie,more like Vic was earlier. From there on it wasn't much of a fight, just Richie with his arms held painfully tight behind his back as Henry landed punch after punch across his face, in the chest and one below the jaw- which hurt like a motherfucker.

Eddie had lost all his dignity at the sight of Richie being beaten like that and was screaming for Henry to stop- at this point the other losers had started to come over. This was worse than anything Henry had done before, probably because Richie actually hit him first. The others didn't come too close, probably quite scared themselves. But near enough away that when the whole thing stopped they could quickly rush over. Eddie couldn't help but cry- seeing Richie being treated like that just reminded him of how shitty the boy's home life was, what would Wentworth do when he saw Richie? He either wouldn't care that his son came home looking like that or would just add more too it, "Stop fucking hitting him!" Eddie pleaded again, only getting a few laughs from the bullies and other students watching the action in amusement.

Finally Henry stopped and ordered Belch and Vic to let go of Richie, causing him to just collapse on the floor for a brief few seconds before he stood up up again, clearly in pain but trying to hide every ounce of it. Sneering in the same attitude Henry used with them he said, "Suck my dick asshole."

"Oh you'd love that wouldn't you? Fucking faggot," Henry replied quickly, before walking through the cafeteria and out the back with his pack of minions following him. The few teachers who were in the room pretended like nothing happened. Eddie swore they were more afraid of Bowers than the other students.

Richie flipped off the group of asswipes (thankfully without them seeing) before rushing over to Eddie, quickly followed by the other losers. Richie looked like shit- he had a busted lip and his nose was bleeding. He would definitely have a black eye and some other bruises as well. Henry had also targeted Richie's chest far more than his face, so Eddie didn't even want to imagine what that would look like. The rest of the cafeteria was still watching the group of seven, thankfully the five unaffected losers did a semi decent job of huddling closely around Richie and Eddie- protecting them from the stares.

"Are you okay Eds?" Richie actually looked worried- Eddie would have a bruised cheekbone and maybe back at worst. How was Richie worried about him?

"Richie they barely touched me, look at you! Why would you do that?" Eddie couldn't help but stroke down Richie's face, before quickly remembering they were in school and literally just called fags. So he quickly dropped his hand.

"Eddie Spaghetti I'm fine- I needed to protect my little Spaghetti didn't I?"

"Rich- you shouldn't have gotten involved- I could have taken it, I always do... What will Went say? Will he hurt you more?" Eddie was still crying a bit, and the others suddenly looked worried at Eddie's point.

"Eds. I did need to get involved- it would've hurt me more if I didn't and just let them hurt you. And do you really think I give a shit about Wentworth? If it gets too bad I can leave can't I?"

"Promise me you'll come to mine if he hurts you- and promise you won't pull that shit again. You got the shit beaten out of you for nothing."

"My wonderful, beautiful Eds. I will come straight to yours if I need to- you know that. You should also know that I will attempt to beat the shit out of Henry every fucking time he lays a finger on you."

Eddie smiled at Richie before wiping his eyes, the others seemed kind of awkward but happy none the less and before they knew it they had to go to lessons. for a brief second Eddie was worried they'd be called to the office or his mom would be notified- but who was he kidding? This school didn't give two shits about their students. So he'd be fine.


	12. we should go on a date Spaghetti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really proud of this chapter sorry, I've been working on an original story the past few days and completely forgot to write for this one- however it does get a lot less dull in the next few chapters so that's good- I'll probably be more motivated to write that way. Also this one does skip a lot of time and it could've been better, but I've not been in the mood to write recently and this is the best I could do. I also just realized it's not even 2000 words- I'm so sorry :(
> 
> I also didn't edit this so please tell me if there's any mistakes/confusing bits

"I think we should go on a date Spaghetti," Richie stated whilst walking home with Eds.

"What? Wait... Really? When?" Eddie asked.

"Tonight."

"Richie- it's 4.00 and I have that bullshit curfew, we're in fucking Derry and neither of us can drive- so if we're looking to get murdered a date sounds great. And look at your face! You need to clean up... Don't take it the wrong way, please. I really, really want to but... We can't. Not tonight."

"Why my little Spaghetti man," Richie started- sounding more disappointed now, "We have three hours which is plenty of time, no one will assault 2 'friends'- we just have to be careful... And I can't go home. So I'm either hanging out with you or wandering around Derry for 5 hours."

"Wait what," Eddie stopped walking and looked at Richie, a common action Eddie would take when worried about Richie, not allowing himself to focus on anything (even walking) besides Richie, "Why can't you go home Rich?"

Richie waited a second, looking at the floor and shifting a bit before quietly answering, "I... I'm scared Eds. Please?"

Eddie had a full face of concern, "Is it Wentworth? Is he hurting you again?"

"Not yet... But what will he say when he sees my face," Richie's breathing was quickening and he suddenly started fiddling with his fingers, "I just wanted to hang out with you... Then at 7 I could drop you off spend another hour or two out and then get home and up to my room before he noticed... I thought maybe... I thought calling it a date would make you... I don't know."

"Where are you going to put your things?"

"What?"

"Rich, you can't bring your school stuff if we're going on a date. It's fine, you can leave it at mine."

"Wait we are going? I get to go on  a date with my little Spaghetti Man?"

Richie's face lit up, causing Eds to also smile, "I'm not your spaghetti man or little. And yes- where do you want to go?"

The two boys decided they'd go to the small corner store, Eddie had some money in his room that he could buy them some food with, then they'd sit at the park and eat. However, before any of that could happen Eddie was adamant that Richie had to sneak into Eddie's room so his face could be properly cleaned up. The school toilets really weren't ideal for sterilizing a busted lip, and it turns out Henry managed to break skin on Richie's rib-cage in two places- which Eddie was also freaking out about. So Richie got to climb the tree next to Eddie's window as Eds took his and Richie's stuff in the house. Richie got to hear the rushed conversation between Sonia and 'Eddie-bear' before Eddie could be heard running upstairs and into his room, where Richie was now sitting on his bed.

It didn't take long for Eddie to 'clean Richie up'. Richie didn't really get what Eddie was doing most of the time but the stuff Eddie put on his face and chest just made it hurt more- and then he'd get whisper-shouted at for wincing too loudly because Sonia was only in the other room. Richie looked the same after Eddie's medical help- but if it made his Eds happy then it made him happy. It was quite a small price to pay for a date with the cutest boy- or cutest person- in the world. Eddie would always get annoyed when Richie called him cute. Richie assumes Eddie thinks that Riches just joking around and trying to be annoying- which he is. But he also really means it- Eddie's easily the cutetst person he knows; his freckles, his smile, his stupid shorts and even the things Eddie hates like his height and smaller features. They just make Eds what Eds is- which in Richie's eyes is perfect.

 Richie climbed back out the window and waited for Eddie to come out front- it took a few minutes but eventually Eddie came out with a big smile on his face, "I have until 8 tonight. Ma's in a good mood obviously."

 

*

 

It was 7.30, the two boys had been sat on the swings in the park for 2 and a half hours now but would have to leave soon, Eddie was lucky enough to have his curfew extended so he couldn't push it at all tonight as he usually would- if anything he should probably be back before 8. Eddie insisted on Richie sneaking in until he felt comfortable going back to his own house but Richie refused. He wanted to stay at Eddie's so badly- it was all he ever wanted to do. Sneak out and hide away from the world with his Eds. But he couldn't risk Sonia catching him there, last time it happened Eddie told him to not sneak over as much and Sonia completely banned Eddie from seeing him. Obviously the ban didn't work. At all. But if Richie snuck over for nothing, got caught and then Eddie didn't want him back he wouldn't be able to sneak in if or when he really needed to. He didn't tell Eddie this obviously, Eddie would just worry more and reassure Richie he would always be welcome but Richie didn't want to risk not being welcome.

Richie and Eddie eventually decided it was time to get going, despite neither of them wanting to leave. Eddie loved Richie's company- it was such a contrast to his overly controlling mother and the relationship as a whole went against everything she believed in and Richie loved Eddie's company, it felt relaxing and like he could truly be him. So it was sad when they had to leave each other- even if it was just on the way home from school or to different lessons. It was probably bad how attached and addicted to each other they were- but how could something that felt so good, so right- be bad in the slightest. Richie thought a few times that they probably shouldn't act like they were connected at the hip but the thought instantly left his mind when he made Eddie laugh or they hugged. It was perfect. And Richie deserved something so perfect in his shitty life.

 

*

 

Friday was extremely boring for Richie, the only lesson he had with Eddie all day was biology first thing- and Stan, who was in almost every other lesson Richie had, wasn't in school. It was weird without Stan the Man. It always felt weird when a loser was missing, once Billy Boy didn't show up for a week and it was chaos. Eddie cried at least twice and Stan got mad at literally everyone for something. It was a mess. There was another time more recently, Eddie didn't show up for three days. Richie suddenly didn't have anything to look at or tease, he tried joking around with Stan but it didn't have the same effect. Mike's absence also typically results in a mess- Richie can't even begin to imagine a world without Billiam and Mike. They'd probably all be dead. They'd definitely all be dead. Beverly has never missed a day, surprisingly. Ben, not so surprisingly, was also always in. Richie had missed a few days and he assumed the days where he didn't show went on as normal- he didn't offer much to the group besides mom jokes and nicknames. But it was fine, the losers liked him.

Richie spent most of second period ignoring the actual lesson and instead decided on doodling in the margins of his notebook, he wasn't very good at drawing but he enjoyed it. He had to gain some new hobbies after his phone was smashed to pieces, and art had seemed pretty easy. Eddie loved Richie's pictures- Richie didn't get it but accepted most of the compliments. He'd either draw patterns or people, in his history book he managed to fill half a page with small circles before his teacher saw and made him tear the page out. It was also quite therapeutic, he could just draw small shapes or a small face and suddenly nothing else mattered and he could just think through things. Like how necessary Billiam and Mike- and the rest of the losers were. Richie would also think about Eddie a lot, and therefore subconsciously drew him a lot too. He drew the whole losers club once, and wrote out their nicknames in different fonts underneath them. He was going to show them before realizing it wasn't that impressive and they'd probably find it weird. So he just kept it at the bottom of his bag.

 At lunch the six losers that were in school planned out the movie night, Bill texted Stan who said he'd love to go but couldn't. This meant one of Eddie's regular two allies when it came to not choosing horror films was gone- also meaning more horror movies were chosen. Eddie kept glaring at Richie to defend him and agree with Eds and Ben that they shouldn't watch a scary movie- but Bev, Bill and even Mike today were adamant. And Richie maybe liked how Eddie hid in his arm and hugged him when they occasionally did watch a horror film? Richie couldn't help it, it was cute. Whereas they'd normally watch one horror movie at most and three-five other movies today it was pretty much all horror. Eddie wasn't happy and threatened not to show up, but Richie would convince him later. Richie did feel kind of bad- but Eddie would be fine, he was really brave when he wanted to be and Richie knew it was the same as his allergies and asthma- if Eddie truly tried to enjoy the films he probably could, but because Sonia has always drilled the idea of him being delicate into his mind he didn't think he'd be able to watch them.

Tonight would be good though- Stan not being there also meant Richie might be able to banish Mike to a beanbag and have the whole couch with Eddie- or Ben and Bev could take the couch and they'd cuddle on the chair instead. That'd be nice, Richie could really protect Eddie that close. Eddie probably wouldn't like that though, too much contact. They'd work it out later.


	13. I'm so fucking gay

Friday was as good as it usually was, it was different as Stan wasn't there but it was still fun. Stan's absence also meant Richie and Eddie got the whole couch to themselves, resulting in Richie laying on his back with Eddie on top of him. Richie had his arms around Eddie's back with his hands on his lower back and Eddie had his arms loosely wrapped around Richie's neck. The two would occasionally kiss however, the others would tell them to stop and 'get a room' after a few seconds of it- if Stan was there he probably would've thrown up at the public display but he wasn't there- so it was fine. The position also meant that throughout the few horror films they watched Eddie could easily hide his face from the scarier scenes and Richie would easily be able to rub Eddie's back in a comforting and protective way. Richie felt bad for Eds, he did. Being raised to fear everything must be hard- it's clearly hard. Most 16 year old boys would love to watch horror movie after horror movie, play sports, go to parties and many other things- but Eds was scared of his own shadow. He couldn't run because of his asthma, he couldn't do outdoor sports because of his allergies, he couldn't go to parties because he's delicate. Richie desperately tried to show Eds he was more than the sweet little Eddie-bear Sonia told him he was, but it was hard. And Richie was so damaged in his own ways it made helping someone else that much harder. Eds had told him a few times now that he appreciated Richie and he was beyond grateful for their relationship. But Richie still wanted to help more. He just didn't know how.

The first movie the group watched was White Chicks, because it was funny and 'horror movies are better in the dark' according to Bev- Eddie strongly disagreed. After that they watched Alex Strangelove, much to Richie and Eddie's request. Then, after that, they watched the horror films. First was Get Out then The Conjuring, which Richie enjoyed both of. Eddie not so much. Then Bill and Beverly decided to watch an older one and chose the shining- as it was older the effects weren't that scary, and Eds preferred that one but still very clearly didn't like it. They decided to stop watching movies after The Shining, as it was one in the morning and everyone was tired. Ben and Bev took the double airbed and Mike and Bill each took a single one, leaving Eddie and Richie with the couch. IT wasn't the comfiest but it reminded Richie of their first movie night sleepover- which made him happy.

"You know Eds," Richie whispered while adjusting himself slightly- allowing Eddie to lay more comfortably on top of him, "I really realized I liked you when we fell asleep on here at the first sleepover."

Eddie looked up at Richie, his chin now resting on Richie's chest and smiled, "Me too- in a way. I felt safe, protected. I really do like you Rich."

"I really like you too Eds."

"Don't call me that- it's annoying"

"You love it really Spaghetti."

"Hmph."

The two didn't fall asleep that long after that- Eddie found it easy to relax when so close to Richie, his body acting almost as a second blanket to the taller boy. He wasn't as on top as he was during the movies and was now wedged between Richie and the back of the couch slightly- but it was comfortable. Richie had his arm wrapped around Eddie in a way that Eds just couldn't get enough of, sometimes Eddie forgot they were dating because at school they had to act so normal. Then, when they were by themselves or with the losers Richie changed ever so slightly into a much more gentle and protective asshole- rather than the usual obnoxious, joking asshole from school. Similar to Eddie, Richie also felt safest when with his Eds. Eddie took care of him in a way- whenever Richie felt slightly off he knew he could go to Eds. He didn't always- but would if he really needed to. Eddie had one of his hands resting on Richie's side and his other clasped in Richie's spare hand and resting on Richie's stomach. It was perfect, the two fit so well together- as if they were literal puzzle pieces. Their legs tangled together in such a perfect way and their bodies were meant to be pressed up against each other. They were meant for each other.

The group woke up later than they usually would- normally Bill and Stan woke up first and would be cooking breakfast by 8 or 9. The others would typically wake up between 8.30 and 10. however, today it was Mike who woke up first and saw it was already 11. They hadn't gone to sleep any later yet managed to dramatically oversleep. Eddie would have to be home soon and he had jobs to do around the barn that he didn't want to put off too long. Mike reluctantly woke up the other losers, really not wanting to put up with the protests he would receive but it was necessary. He decided to wake up Richie and Eddie first, as they were closest but that didn't lead to much; Eddie grumbled a bit and somehow managed to burrow deeper into Richie's side. How adorable. Richie grunted a bit but reluctantly rubbed his eyes and woke up before promising Mike he'd get Eddie up.

Bill was easy to wake up, he was probably already half awake and in that weird not-quite-dream but not-quite-reality limbo area, as he woke up before Mike actually tapped his shoulder. Bill wasn't the type to lay around, and was instantly sat up and asking about breakfast. On the double bed next to Bill was Ben and Beverly- Ben would be easy to wake up, similar to Bill was. But Beverly on the other hand, a fucking nightmare. Mike took the approach he should've taken with the other couple and decided to just wake up Ben and leave him with the pleasure of waking Beverly up. He agreed to that type of shit when getting with her, Mike shouldn't have to worry about waking up Bev or Eddie.

Once they were all awake and made breakfast it was more like lunch. Eddie had miraculously managed to text his mother and convince her to let him stay out later than usual- meaning the losers were staying at Bill's house for later that day. They texted Stan again, to see if he'd be able to make it but he still couldn't- which was a shame but they'd hopefully see him on Monday. So it'd be fine. The six of them mainly just talked for the day; school was a fun topic, telling each other all the gossip they'd overheard in class and generally complaining about people was too much fun and they hadn't done it in a while. Considering they were each other's only friends and pretty much ignored by everyone (unless one of them was being beaten the shit out of by Henry) their people knowledge was limited- but they could still complain about people- 'people' typically being Henry Bowers and his gang.

 

*

 

The losers stayed at Bill's all day- Richie intended on getting home relatively early but the group completely lost track of time and suddenly it was five in the evening. Richie got home at half past five and instantly knew he was in deep shit. Wentworth was just pulling into the drive in his fancy ass car. Richie knew he was working today, but was hoping he'd be getting back when he normally gets back from work. Which is why he didn't rush to leave this morning like he normally would've. Richie learnt after the first movie night/sleepover the losers had at Bill's that Wentworth didn't particularly like the idea of Richie going- for whatever reason- and if Richie did go he needed to be back early. Richie didn't get an explanation but when does Wentworth ever have to justify himself to Richie?

Richie walked up to his house, if he didn't have his bags with him he possibly could've convinced Went that he had returned in the morning before going out again- but even then chances are Maggie would've told Wentworth otherwise anyways. Maybe Went would just ignore Richie? It was unlikely but possible- if Richie just hung his head low and got in the house first he might be able to escape his dad, it's not like he'd be screamed at or hit outside- the neighbors would be able to see and hear it. Wentworth got out his car and looked back to see Richie and his face was instantly unreadable- Richie couldn't tell if he was mad that Richie was home late or happy that he'd now be able to scream at him. As Richie walked past Wentworth's car a hand was firmly placed on his lower neck- looking comforting and welcoming to anyone who would have unlikely seen the interaction but Richie knew it wasn't going to be a good night. He was basically dragged into the house by Wentworth and as soon as the door was slammed shut he was being screamed at.

"Why the fuck are you home so late?" Went spat at Richie.

"We... I- I lost track of time... I'm sorry... We woke up l-late and... Then we just f-forgot..."

"You're sorry? You forgot? You're full of shit Richard. You're still a disrespectful, lying little pussy," Wentworth was talking far too calmly now- adding an even more poisonous tone to his words.

"I... I've told you- I'm not a... I'm not a liar. I'm telling you the t-truth..."

"You are full. Of. shit, I am your father Richard. I know what your faggot ass is like."

Richie could feel his eyes start to sting and a lump form in his throat- he refused to cry. It would only make matters worse, "I'm telling the truth."

Wentworth took a few steps away from Richie, and stood facing in the opposite direction for a few seconds, as if thinking what to say, before turning around and looking at Richie again, "Are you calling me an idiot Richard? Saying I'm the liar here?"

"What...? No, no I'm just saying-"

"That you're telling the truth. Implying I'm lying."

"No. No... I- I didn't mean it like that..."

"So you are lying to me Richard?"

"No... No its just-"

Richie was interrupted with Wentworth grabbing his arm and practically throwing him into the front door causing Richie to fall to the floor in a bundle of limbs. Richie guarded his face with his arms out of instinct scared of what Went's next move would be. Surprisingly, Wentworth stayed quiet and walked over to the coffee table- the entrance to Richie's house was right into the lounge and the coffee table was close to the doorway. Wentworth picked up the empty glass on the table, held it in his hands for a few moments before swiftly throwing it in Richie's direction- it shattered right in front of him and the sudden sound make Richie jump and cover his face more- now crying and shaking as well. Wentworth slowly walked over to Richie- making sure each step he took could be clearly heard, scaring Richie beyond belief. Richie shouldn't be scared or hurt by this- he goes through this all the time. He should be used to it. He should be strong. But instead, he's huddled on the floor covering his face like a fucking pussy.

"Now look at you. You're such a fucking bitch. It's disappointing really- having to tell people you're my son."

Richie couldn't respond, he just lay there, crying, surrounded by shattered glass.

"You can't even fucking respond to me. You're fucking pathetic."

Richie couldn't move- he felt paralyzed, like all he could do was stay bundled on the floor shaking and crying as his 'dad' threw abuse and literal objects his way. It was torture, he hated it- but he couldn't do anything so he may as well accept it.

Wentworth obviously got bored of looking at Richie and without warning kicked Richie in the chest way too hard and walked into the kitchen to greet Maggie like nothing happened. In his world nothing really had happened, besides his disappointing son being a disappointment. After what felt like an eternity and when Richie was pretty sure Wentworth gave up being a dick for tonight he slowly sat himself up and made his way to the stairs and up to his room. His chest still hurt from the kick- and now in the few places Henry had broke skin a few days prior, the kick obviously triggered those pains too, and Richie's back hurt a bit. As soon as he got into his room, Richie collapsed on his bed and allowed himself to really cry- he shoved his face into a pillow to muffle the sounds a bit as he cried his fucking heart out. Why didn't his parents care? Why did Henry fucking Bowers and Patrick fucking Hocksetter have to exist? Why couldn't he just be with Eds and the other losers all the time? Why were him and Eds so wrong and faggots? Why was he such a fucking pussy? 

 

*

 

Richie ended up crying for way too long and fell asleep way to late. He woke up with his face and pillow both soaked with tears and snot- which was disgusting- and the clock read two in the afternoon. At least he managed to sleep away the whole morning. The room was a mess, he'd pretty much ran out of money so he hadn't had his candy stash for a month or so now, meaning there weren't any sweet wrappers. However, his room was still covered in dirty clothes and desperate attempts at various school projects. If there was one thing Richie wouldn't let happen- it was his grades dropping. They were the only chance he had to get out of Derry and away from every single shitty person in it. If he could pass all his classes and do well that meant a good college far, far away and an equally good future.

After scanning the room Richie figured it wasn't a bad idea to clean it up a bit. It would mean when Wentworth inevitably stormed in he'd have less to be mad about and it could take Richie's mind off shit for a while. He started at the back corner opposite the door and slowly made his way to the doorway; making piles of clothes, school things, trash and other random shit. Once everything was piled up he tackled each pile one at at time before finally making his bed. Eventually the whole thing was complete and it was already five.

_What a shitty 24 hours this has been_

There wasn't much else to do- Richie tried drawing something but noting worked. He didn't have a phone he could dick about on and he sure as hell wasn't leaving the house. However, he didn't have to wait long before the father of the year made his entrance.

"Why the fuck is there still a mess downstairs?" Went snapped at Richie.

Richie was genuinely confused as he sat up from laying on his bed and looked at Wentworth, "What do you mean?"

Wentworth looked pissed and after Richie asking that he only seemed more mad, "That fucking glass I had to throw at you yesterday is still all over my fucking floor."

"I didn't know I had to clean it... sorry," Richie stood up to leave the room- the sooner he cleaned it the sooner Went would be off his back.

Before Richie even got to the doorway Wentworth snapped again, "You didn't think you had to clean it?! So what, me and your mother are meant to do everything for you?"

"What- no. I didn't mean it like that, I-"

"If  _you_ weren't such a fucking  _faggot_  huddled on the floor crying like a bitch there wouldn't be a fucking mess in the first place."

Suddenly something changed in Richie, he was still terrified of Wentworth but suddenly just felt... done with it, "So fucking what dad? What if I am a fucking  _faggot_ ," Richie snapped in the same disgusted way Went had always said the word.

"What?" For the first time Richie had caught Wentworth off guard- and he wasn't done.

"What if I'm so fucking gay. I'm such a fucking faggot."

Wentworth didn't respond verbally, and instead punched Richie across the face harder than he ever had before- sending Richie flying to the floor. It hurt- but Richie wasn't letting this sudden confidence go and forced himself back to his feet, "I'm such a fucking faggot Wentworth- sucking dick all day. I'm gay as shit," Richie had his arms out to his side in a taunting way- he was done with this bullshit. Wentworth again didn't respond with words and stormed over to Richie before grabbing his head and slamming it into the side of his desk with immense force. Richie felt himself go light headed as he fell to the floor- he was definitely bleeding and it hurt like hell. However, he miraculously didn't pass out. He heard Wentworth storm out the room muttering something about how worthless and shitty Richie is. That's when he decided he couldn't stay in his house- he had to leave. no matter how bad the repercussions were when he inevitably returned. He had to leave for now- for the rest of the night. So he did, he stumbled to his window as quietly as possible- still pretty light headed and he opened his window. He somehow managed to climb out the window but fell halfway down where he couldn't focus on climbing.

He felt even more light headed as he hit the hard, cold ground outside and winced at the pain. It was winter and he wasn't wearing a coat so he was instantly freezing- and it was already dark out. After a few minutes he managed to stand up- resting a hand on the wall of his house for support before running as quick as he could (which wasn't very quick) to the only place he knew he'd be safe- unless Sonia saw him. As he ran blood from the obviously huge cut on the side of his forehead ran down his face and into his eye a bit, blurring his vision slightly. But he made it to Eddie's eventually. It'd been a while since he snuck into Eddie's room, and climbing the conveniently placed tree was hard enough when not lightheaded and partially blinded, but he was determined.

He slowly climbed the tree and when he reached the top saw Eddie was on his bed, he knocked on the window and saw Eddie jump at the sound before looking at Richie and flinching again at the state he was in. Eds practically threw himself at the window and desperately opened it but before he could start to help Richie in or even ask him if he was okay Richie grabbed his face and pulled him into a harsh, desperate kiss- it only lasted a second or two before Richie started crying and Eddie pulled away- now also crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of like this one, I don't know...  
> The only problem is I didn't know how to end it, so I just... Ended it?  
> It was kind of sudden but who doesn't love a cliff hanger am I right?


	14. I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I quite like this chapter honestly, I don't know why though.  
> Anyways, if anyone cares I got my English GCSE results today! (I was year 10 last year- freshman for any americans) but did my English GCSE last year and I got an 8/A*!!  
> I was expecting to get a 4 or 5 best because the paper was insanely difficult but I got an 8 and I'm so proud! I just love writing I guess :')
> 
> Also I didn't edit this sorry, it's been a busy day and I wanted to post this tonight but I also wanted to sleep- so I'll either edit it tomorrow or not at all. Please correct any typos or mistakes in the comments though (if you care that much)
> 
> also I, again, didn't know how to end it o it just sort of ends??? Sorry 'bout that :///

Eddie helped Richie through the window and over to his bed, where Richie instantly collapsed. His head was burning and he was out of breath from running and he couldn't see properly. Eddie didn't ask what happened at first, he never really did. He would wait for Richie to tell him while cleaning and bandaging him up, Richie was grateful for it. Eddie practically ran to the bathroom to get his supplies and was back with seconds. He sat next to Richie and ran his finger lightly over the cut. Eddie knew he shouldn't ask what happened- he usually wouldn't in case Richie didn't want to talk about it. And Eddie didn't want to risk Richie avoiding him purely to not talk about his shitty home life. But today, Eddie couldn't help but ask. He was crying almost as much as Richie was and presumably had been as he ran over to Eddie's house. The cut on his head obviously wasn't 'drawn' on with a knife or sharp object- it wasn't precise enough and it was already bruising. However, it was bad. Really bad. It was bleeding like crazy causing the side of Richie's face to have stripes of blood running down it, and it was all over his eyelid and under his eye. His cheek on the other side of his face also looked like it had been hit- hard. Whatever annoyed Wentworth was obviously big. Richie's lip was also somehow busted again and Eddie assumed there would be more bruises on Richie's body.

"Rich," Eddie started between tears, "Wha-What happened?"

Richie wiped his eyes with his wrists and looked at Eddie, he looked completely empty and broken- which only made Eddie cry more, "I told him Eds. He was being an asshole all weekend and called me a faggot and I just..."

"You... You told him you were bi?"

"I screamed that I was a faggot and liked sucking dick. So he slammed my head into my desk and punched me in the face."

Richie looked away from Eddie and covered his face with his hands and started sobbing. Loud, desperate sobs that would definitely wake Sonia up. But Eddie really didn't care about that right now. Sonia wouldn't take Richie away from Eddie tonight, he wouldn't let her, "Richie- did he do anything else?"

Richie didn't reply and instead just carried on crying, blood now running down his hands from the pressure he was putting on the cut. He wanted to tell Eddie everything, he needed to, but he couldn't talk. He still felt paralyzed in a way- stillin shock from it all.

"Are you okay Eddie-bear? You're making lots of noise-" Sonia had obviously heard Richie's sobs and came up to see if Eddie was okay, "Edward what is this dirty boy doing in your room?"

Richie turned to look at Sonia, and Eddie quickly replied, "It's Richie ma, he has nowhere else to go. He needs to stay."

"Eddie-bear you know I don't like your friends. He should leave."

Eddie went to argue but Richie stepped in, "Look Mrs.K- I can't go home and I don't trust anyone as much as Eds- Eddie. So I'm either here or on the streets for tonight."

Eddie quickly added before Sonia could argue, "Ma I'm helping his as you would help me- he's hurt. He's only staying for tonight."

Sonia looked at Richie surprisingly sympathetically, "Fine. you can stay for tonight and tomorrow morning. But you will not return."

Richie and Eddie both nodded in agreement as Sonia left the room. The boys could hear her walk down the stairs and it was just the two of them again. They looked at each other for a few moments, neither knowing what to say and both still crying. It was a comfortable silence between them but eventually Richie started to tell Eddie what had happened, "On Saturday, when I got home Went was just getting home and was mad I was back so late, so he shouted at me and shit. Then I argued with him and he shoved me over, threw a glass at me and some other shit. Then today he yelled at me to clean up the glass before calling me a faggot... Then I said that I was a fag so he... Well y'know- you can see."

It was quiet for another few moments before Eddie crawled across the bed to Richie and hugged him, not too tight because he didn't want to hurt Rich, but tight enough. He rested his head on Richie's chest like he usually did when they hugged and wrapped his arms around Richie's waist. Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's back and shoved his face in Eddie's hair- probably bleeding on it but he was sure Eddie wouldn't mind too much. The two stay like that, awkwardly half laying half sitting for a while before Eddie pulls away, hands still on Richie's waist as he barely whispers, "I love you Rich."

Richie felt more tears roll down his cheeks, but this time out of happiness, "I- I love you too Eds. I really fucking do."

Eddie hugged Richie again for a few moments before pulling away and grabbing his first aid kit- he did the usual sterilizing, cleaning and bandaging Richie didn't understand. Eds also got him some pain killers and a glass of water and eventually Richie started to feel better. He'd stopped crying as much and he wasn't bleeding everywhere anymore- the cut was too big for any of Eddie's band-aids but It had stopped bleeding. After everything Richie was far too tired to stay up and hang out, and Eddie wanted Richie to fall asleep anyways. When they were younger Richie and Eddie would always just share the bed on the rare occasion they had a sleepover, but eventually it got to the point where Richie would take the floor and Eddie would take the bed- but now that they were together and after the many sleepovers at Bill's it was natural for them to share a bed. So, despite it being only 8 the two boys cuddled up in Eddie's bed- Richie fell asleep almost instantly and it didn't take much longer for Eddie to fall asleep too.

 

*

 

Richie woke up to Eddie's alarm in the exact same position he fell asleep in- arms wrapped around Eddie with his face buried in the crook of Eddie's neck. His head was instantly pounding with pain, it felt like the cut on his forehead had a heartbeat and his chest and back were still hurting too. Eddie rolled over and turned off his alarm before crashing back into the bed, it was quarter to eight but the boys couldn't be bothered to get up, so they stayed under the warm covers for another 15 minutes. Eddie said they'd be late if they left it any longer and despite Richie's protests rolled out of bed.

"Eds my head is fucking killing," Richie groaned.

"I'll get some more painkillers. I'll bring some to school too."

Eddie ran off to quickly receive the medicine for Richie and Richie decided he should probably just get up- he sat up and stretched his arms before reaching for his glasses and putting them on. He realized he'd slept in his clothes from yesterday and didn't have a spare change or any of his school things, great. He couldn't sneak back into his house to get his stuff and he wouldn't be able to borrow any of Eddie's clothes either. He could borrow one of Eddie's notebooks from a lesson he didn't have today for notes and Eddie should have a spare pen and pencil too, he already shared Eddie's lunch and a bag wasn't completely necessary. His clothes also weren't visibly dirty. So that'd be fine.

Eddie returned with the medicine and Richie took the two pills with the glass of water Eddie also brought to the room, "What are you going to wear today Rich? You don't have spares do you?"

"Already figured it out Spaghetti- I'll just have to wear this. And for school can I borrow one of your books? I'll rip out my notes at the end of the day- oh and a pen and pencil too?"

"Rich you can't wear that- your shirt has blood on it and your pants are dirty,"

Eddie was right- Richie didn't think it was that bad but it may have been worse than he thought, "Well I won't fit into your shit Eds, so I'm kind of stuck in this."

Eddie shook his head and started looking around, "No once a few months ago you left a hoodie here I think? I was meant to give it back but I forgot."

"Awe my little Spaghetti Man keeping my clothes hidden away," Richie teased.

"Shut up dipshit, I'm trying to help."

"Eds you've helped more than enough- I'll be fine in this," Richie walked over to the wardrobe that Eds was rummaging in and caught sight of himself in the mirror- he hadn't actually looked in a mirror since the whole fight with Wentworth and he looked awful. The whole side of his forehead was an ugly blend of red, purple and Brown and the cut itself was starting to dry and scab over.His lip was also slightly bruised from where the cut had opened up again and although his black eye from Henry was fading his cheek underneath it was now less extreme reds and purples. He'd get looked at weird but when didn't he? He'd be fine. After what felt like a decade of looking in the mirror, Eddie pulled out a royal blue hoodie that Richie recognized as his.

"Thanks Spaghetti," Richie smiled and took the hoodie- throwing it on over his top. His jeans were still a bit dirty, obviously, but with the state his face was in people wouldn't be looking at his pants. Eddie sorted out his school bag and threw an extra notebook and pencil case in for Richie before leading Richie downstairs for breakfast- there was bread ready in the toaster (presumably from Sonia) for both of them and Eddie popped them down. The bread didn't take long to toast and breakfast didn't take too long- however, it was already 8.30 and by the time they'd gotten Richie's shoes from Eddie's room and Eddie said bye to his mother it was basically 8.40, meaning they were late.

The walk to school was rushed- Eddie was freaking out about them being in at normal time (despite normal time for them being pretty early anyways) and practically running there- Richie normally would've complained but Eddie was cute when he was all flustered like this, so he let it be. When they got to Bill's no one was waiting there and Eddie freaks out even more about being late. Eventually they make it to the school and are only a few minutes later than they'd normally be. As soon as they walk inside something feels off- people are looking at them- staring at them. It's probably because Richie looks like shit... But then again he's looked like shit the past few months... Eddie obviously notices too because he looks at Richie confused, but before either of them can say anything they're being dragged off by Ben and Beverly- who appeared out of nowhere. On their way to wherever Ben and Bev are taking them someone sneers 'faggots' in their direction and it hits Richie- somehow everyone knows. Everyone fucking knows he's a faggot. Ben and Bev practically shove the tw of them into an empty classroom and slam the door- Eddie starts breathing heavier as he clearly heard the slur too and Ben and Bev look at each other for a few moments- trying to work out what to say.

"There's a picture of you two going around," Beverly states- looking between the two boys.

"It's taken from outside Eddie's house," Ben joins in, "You're kissing in the photo like through the window."

"Shit, shit, shit..."Eddie starts muttering under his breath pacing around the room and Richie instantly feels completely to blame- he's the one who stupidly kissed Eddie because he was feeling sorry about himself. This is all his fucking fault like everything else that seems to go wrong.

"Fuck Eds," Richie's freaking out but can't let the others know, "It-It's my fault... Fuck... I shouldn't have fucking kissed you. shit."

"Richie it's not your fault," Ben tried to calm him down.

"It's whatever fucker who took the photo's fault," Bev added.

"No- I-it's my fucking fault. Shit! Why the fuck am I so stupid," Richie was probably visibly worried now- but he couldn't help it. Eds would hate him, the whole school will just chant 'faggot' at him and his family isn't any better after him disappearing last night.

"Rich- it's not your fault," Eddie walked back over to the group, "If we're going to blame ourselves- which we shouldn't- it would be both of our faults. It takes two to kiss. But Bev's right, whatever fucker took the photo is to blame."

Richie was going to carry on arguing and blaming himself but Stan rushed in the room before he could say anything, "Guys- Fuck- It's worse than we think... Eddie's locker..." Stan was obviously out of breath from most likely running to the room, "Bill and Mike went to get shit to clean it up but... Everyone's looking at it."

Richie was furious and started to head to the door and Stan before Stan and Bev told him he shouldn't leave yet and they could handle it- but this situation was Richie's fault so Richie was going to beat the shit out of whatever motherfucking piece of shit took that photo and wrote God knows what on Eddie's locker.

"I'm going to that fucking locker- we have to face these dipshits sooner or later," Richie spat as he budged past Stan and into the crowded hall. He marched his way to Eddie's locker- which was only down the hall and to the left, he heard various insults on his way and as he got closer to the locker saw a small crowd of people huddled around it. As he got closer himself he could see ' **F A G** ' written in a sharpie across the locker with a shitty attempt of a dick drawn underneath it. How fucking dare they. He stormed closer and as people noticed him they went quiet and whispered to each other within their own little groups. Richie made it to the center of the huddle and screamed at the group, "Who fucking did this!?" All he got in responce was a few laughs. He shoved one of the guys that laughed, causing him to stumble back the tiniest bit.

"I said who the  _fuck_ did this."

People continued just calling him a 'faggot' or 'fag' until the school's greatest bitch made her way to the huddle, "I did dipshit. And what are you going to do about it?" Greta Keene asked in the most condescending way possible. Richie lost all his dignity and out of pure rage threw himself towards Greta and shoved her back in to the wall of lockers behind them, "You fucking piece of shit bitch," Richie went in to shove her again but what ripped away from a bundle of dudes as plenty of others came between him and Greta to protect her. How sweet, the school cares about women's rights. Good to know. Richie started flailing around trying to break out of whoever's grasp as people just continued laughing. It wasn't long before he was shoved against the lockers and to the floor in a similar way Wentworth had shoved him over on Saturday.

"Fucking faggot," the guy who shoved him over sneered- how original. Richie hadn't heard that one yet today, "You're such a fucking pussy- is that why you like dick so much?" the same guy asked. Richie couldn't help but feel the same as he did over the weekend with Wentworth- being treated the same shitty way. He could feel the familiar lump form in his throat and just laid on the floor, arms over his face- a parallel to Saturday evening.

Thankfully before anything else happened Stan rushed around the corner and helped Richie up- only after shoving the asshole calling Richie a faggot over. Once Richie was on his feet Stan rushed him off in a similar way Bev and Ben had earlier. By the time they made it to a classroom Richie was practically crying and as soon as Stan shut the door Richie just let himself hug Stan and cry. It was weird opening up to someone like this who wasn't Eddie, but Richie could trust Stan. He could trust all the losers, but he really trusted Stan. He cried about the locker, the photo, the slurs, Wentworth, Maggie, Eddie being upset and everything else. Stan felt bad for Richie and Eddie- really, really bad. They didn't do anything and he knew Richie had a shitty enough life as it was. They were two of the nicest people he knew yet they still managed to face the most shit. He hugged Richie, as it felt like the right thing to do, as he looked out the window on the door. As much as he knew Richie needed comforting- the last thing Richie (and Stan) needed right now was people making fun of them for hugging because Richie's gay. He also managed to text Bev, letting her know he got Richie away from the locker like he promised Eddie he'd do. And it meant if necessary Ben and Bev could bring Eddie over too.

Bill and Mike went off to get stuff to clean the locker so they might not show up- but Stan knew the classroom wasn't being used for homeroom or first period so the losers could probably meet him and Richie there and then figure out what they were going to do. Ben suggested skipping and in Richie and probably Eddie's current state that was probably the best idea- however, that just meant facing it again tomorrow. They'd work it out, they just had to make sure Richie and Eddie were completely safe.

"Stupid question," Stan started- pulling away from Richie and sitting on the desk just behind them, "but are you okay?"

Richie sat next to Stan, "I will be."

"I know it's hard- but just ignore everyone. And we'll get Bev to beat the shit out of Greta, don't worry."

"Now that might make this all worth it Stanley."

"When was the photo from then? I've not seen it," Stan asked

"I'm assuming it was last night when I fled to Eddie's house. Wentworth slammed my head into a desk," Richie gestured to the cut on his head, "So I got the fuck out of there."

"Oh..." Stan didn't know what to say without sounding condescending or insensitive.

"But it's fine- I like to think it makes me look more badass," Richie flashed Stan the most forced smile he'd ever seen. in return, Stan forced himself to laugh at the weak joke.

"I know you have Eddie and everything, but if you need to come talk to me. Okay?"

"Oh Stan the Man- don't worry. I'm fine."

"Richie you're whole face is purple and looks like it could start bleeding any second now and literally everyone in this bullshit town is going to want you either dead or severely harmed. You're not fine."

"Stanley- I'll deal with it," Richie couldn't keep eye contact. He didn't like it when people seemed to really care for him, he wasn't used to it, "I've dealt with this shit for 15 years whats a few more going to hurt?"

"Just please know we care- all of us."


	15. you were the only one he let find him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: I do mention self harm in this chapter, it's in the tags but I figured I should mention it here too  
> Also the Eddie POV starts as Richie leaves the original classroom to run to his locker, in case the time skips are confusing to anyone :)

Richie and Stan had been in the classroom for 7 minutes- it was now just after 9 meaning home room had started, which Richie would definitely be skipping today. Stan had been texting Ben for updates the whole time they'd been there, Eddie was apparently freaking out- only causing Richie to panic more. He'd started pacing around the room crying to Stan how everything was his fault and he was an awful boyfriend and Stan was trying his best to keep him calm.

"No Stan, if I wasn't such a fucking pussy and just stayed home none of this would've happened!"

"Richie! If you were a 'pussy' and stayed home you would have just been hurt more by your da- Wentworth. Stop blaming yourself. Please."

"All I needed to do was stay in my room for the night and leave for school early and it all would've been fine. Everyone would be happy and Eddie wouldn't be panicking!"

"You would've been panicking Richie! You would have been physically and mentally hurt and you wouldn't have told us and you'd be suffering. It's Greta fucking Bowie's fault. Not yours"

"But Greta's fucking right isn't she," Richie's voice cracked and he could feel himself start to cry again, "Me and Eddie are fucking faggots. I'm a fucking faggot and a pussy. And it's all my fucking fault."

Richie stopped frantically walking around and looked at Stan, who was looking back at him with complete concern and sympathy. All Richie wanted was to run away from all his problems with Eds by his side, but that couldn't happen. The more he thought about everything the more pissed off and upset he got. He couldn't tell if it was his anger and hatred for Greta and his parents or his unhappiness for everything that caused him to cry but it didn't take him long to once again become a blubbering mess. He just felt so helpless and pathetic and lost- he'd fucked everything up because he couldn't man up and spend a night at his own house. Now Eddie wouldn't want to be near him at school because of the rumors and he wouldn't be allowed back in Eddie's house. Everyone now fucking knew about the one thing that made him happy, therefore taking it away from him too..

Before Richie could process what was happening he felt Stan hug him tight and Richie couldn't help but collapse into the hug. It seemed to last a decade and Stan just let Richie cry everything out, in a way Richie was glad it wasn't Eddie hugging him now- he loved Eddie with all his heart, he really did. But around Eddie he needed to be at least slightly brave and shit, otherwise Eddie would uncontrollably worry about him as well as his own problems. He shouldn't have to put Eddie through all that. Eventually Stan pulled away- Richie now realized he was shaking uncontrollably and crying more than he probably ever had before, Stan pulled out a chair from under the desk they were next to and helped Richie sit down before sitting down next to Richie.

After a few moments of silence Richie wiped his eyes and took a few deep breaths before whispering, "I'm just so scared Stan..."

Stanley couldn't help but feel like shit with Richie like this- it was so unlike the Richie Tozier he knew, "Why? Richie, you can talk to us."

"I can't go home without being screamed at, hit or ignored. Maggie's always drunk and I've not had a proper meal at home for months. I was a fucking idiot and told Went I was a faggot before fleeing the house and Sonia won't let me stay at Eddie's tonight or ever again. I can't fucking go back to my house... I- what will he do to me Stan?" Richie looked at Stan with pure fear, he really was terrified. And what would happen if Wentworth saw this photo of Richie and Eds? He'd actually kill Richie, "And now... Stan how the fuck am I meant to walk through the halls or go to any class? Everyone thinks I'm some fucking freak because... Because... I'm a fucking faggot, and now Eddie won't want anything to do with me. He wont want me sitting with you guys because everyone will laugh... I'll have to leave and I'll be alone again. I don't want to be alone Stan. Please..."

"Richie, you know fair well Eddie won't want you leaving. And don't say 'you guys'. It's 'us'. No one would ever dream of telling you to leave, especially Eddie."

"But I did this to Eds, I was a fucking pussy who couldn't face my own fucking dad. And now I've ruined everything... I just don't want to be alone Stan."

"You'll never be alone Rich- I promise. After school I'll walk you to your's; you can sneak in, grab your school shit and some clothes, sneak back out and then stay at mine for as long as you need. You know my parents don't mind. Or I'll text my dad to drive us- then if your parents get violent we can step in. Okay?"

"Wait... what?"

"You're not alone Richie- please don't ever feel like you are, I don't want you... None of us want you going back to how you were last year."

"I was a mess last year," Richie thought back to the year prior- it was similar to this year (minus him dating Eddie) and Wentworth got really, really bad. He didn't tell anyone about him and instead he would just hurt himself more to relieve the pain. Stan was the one who saw his scars down his inner thighs at the quarry one day, Richie had forgotten he was meant to be hiding them. Luckily no one else saw the scars- however, Richie did end up telling Eddie about them. He also managed to pretty much stop with the help from Eds and Stan, none of the others were told because it's fucking embarrassing and Richie didn't need sympathy, "but I wouldn't do that shit again Stan- why'd you think I went to Eddie's last night?"

"Okay, just... I'm here for you okay- we all are. Especially Eddie- your 'Spaghetti' or whatever the fuck you call him."

Before Richie could respond Stan's phone went off on the desk- Stan's wallpaper was a picture of all the losers posed on a rock at the quarry, it was one of Richie's favorite photos of them all. Both boys looked at the screen; unsurprisingly, the text was from Ben,

> _**Ben:** Which room are you in? Eddie's finally fine with leaving. And did you find out who sent the picture around?_
> 
>  

_*_

 

"Guys- Fuck- It's worse than we think... Eddie's locker..." Stan was obviously out of breath from most likely running to the room, "Bill and Mike went to get shit to clean it up but... Everyone's looking at it."

Richie was furious and started to head to the door and Stan before Stan and Bev told him he shouldn't leave yet, and they could handle it- but this situation was Richie's fault so Richie was going to beat the shit out of whatever motherfucking piece of shit took that photo and wrote God knows what on Eddie's locker.

"I'm going to that fucking locker- we have to face these dipshits sooner or later," Richie spat as he budged past Stan and into the crowded hall.

Eddie watched him leave and was suddenly panicking ten times more. what the fuck was Richie thinking running off like that? Everyone had seen some fucking picture of them kissing and were all making fun of it and he's going to just run into the middle of it. Eddie needed to follow him to make sure he was alright and didn't get even more hurt. But he couldn't- at all. What would people say? Or do? Eddie couldn't go out there by himself- let alone with Richie. The four of them stood in silence for what felt like forever- Stan watching down the hall and Eddie, Ben and Beverly all watching the door.

"I'll go make sure he doesn't get hurt," Stan mumbled before running after Richie.

"What do you think they wrote?" Eddie was panicking so much and felt an asthma attack coming on, "How bad will it be? Will it get cleaned? What if they can't clean it and it's there forever and-"

"Eddie," Ben's reassuring voice managed to slightly calm Eddie, "It probably says fag or girly-boy or one of the many insults you get from Bowers. And it will be fine, we'll get it cleaned. Okay?"

"Yeah Eddie," Beverly agreed, "We'll get it cleaned even if it's the last thing we do."

As much as Eddie wanted to believe them he couldn't- it wouldn't be fine. Everyone at the school hated him more than they already had  _and_ they had proof that he was gay. It never bothered Eddie that he was gay, he'd known for a while. What bothered him was people finding out and treating him even shittier. What'll happen when his mother finds out? She'll lock him in his room for the next century, she won't let him see Richie. Not that they could go near each other anymore anyways- Richie wouldn't want to. Eddie felt bad for Richie, he was so clearly insecure but would so desperately try to hide it. Richie ran away from the losers after they found out him and Eddie were together and had a panic attack- how was he going to handle this? He couldn't stay at Eddie's anymore either- they were lucky Sonia let him stay yesterday, so Rich was back at his shitty home now too. What if Wentworth saw the picture? What would he do to Richie?

Eddie felt his breathing quicken and tried to find his inhaler however, he was shaking so much and not able to focus so his fingers ended up dancing around the zip on his fanny pack. After a few seconds of him struggling and his breathing getting worse Beverly rushed over and helped him get the inhaler out, Ben was also now on sudden guard. Eddie took a few puffs and felt slightly better, he was still freaking out and worried and way too close to tears. But he could breath.

"Richie's going to get himself fucking killed," Eddie said to his two friends, keeping eye contact with both of them.

"Stan won't let anything happen to him," Ben said, still in his reassuring and calming tone.

"No- everyone fucking hates us and he's... He's running out there to scream about them treating  _me_ like shit. That'll just be funny to everyone. They'll fucking love calling him a faggot and a pussy and any other name they can think of."

"Eddie, he knows damn well what he's getting himself into. And as Ben said- Stan's there and extremely fucking protective- even of Richie," Bev argued

"And he's fucking blaming himself! Why is he blaming himself? It's not his fault and what... What if he doesn't want to sit with me, or us anymore? He's going to blame himself and get mad at himself and hide again and I won't be able to fucking help him! Ben, Bev- he's going to fucking destroy himself. How am I meant to help him? He's going to hate himself so much he hates me..."

"Eddie..." Ben didn't know how to reply.

"Eddie- you're his fucking Eds. You're his spaghetti-whatever," Bev started, "Look trust me when I say he's head over fucking heels for you and has been for a long time. Remember the day you two like confessed and shit? He was hiding from everyone that day and you were the only one he let find him. He's obviously going to be just as upset as you, but he won't hate or avoid you. Okay?"

"Okay..."

"Guys, Stan just texted me- he said he got to the lockers and Richie was on the floor and people were calling him shit- which isn't too surprising- and now they're in some classroom and Richie's freaking out."

"Shit, shit, shit... See he's freaking out and he's going to avoid me and-"

"Eddie! He's not going to ignore you," Ben interrupted.

The conversation carried on for another 10 minutes- into homeroom, not that Eddie was going to go anywhere without a loser for a while. Eddie was still freaking out and Ben and Beverly were still trying to calm him down and tell him everything would be okay.

"Guys what room are they in? I want us to all be together... And I need to see Richie."

"Oh shit, I never replied to Stan- I'll ask," Ben messaged Stan asking where they were and it only took a few seconds before Stan had replied.

> _**Stan:** Room 9. And Greta dick-face Bowie took and sent the photo _

"I'm going to beat that slutty piece of shit so fucking hard I swear to fucking God..."

"Bev- calm down," Ben again, reassured, "We'll deal with her later- lets head to room 9- okay?"

Ben and Bev stood either side of Eddie like body guards as they walked down to where Stan and Richie were, it wasn't too far and the halls were empty- so they were there pretty quickly. When they walked in the room Stan and Richie were sat at a desk near the back of the room and Richie looked awful- besides the bruises already on his face his eyes were now red and puffy too and he'd gone even paler than usual. As soon as the trio were in the door Richie was to his feet and rushed over to Eddie before pulling him in a tight, desperate hug. Eddie hugged back just as tight as he could hear Stan walk over. Eddie had no clue what he was going to do- what they were going to do. But Richie was hugging him and in that moment that's all he could've asked for.

 


	16. Stop...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel really bad because I'm putting Richie through so much shit, but don't worry!! It all has a happy ending!  
> I also think this is all going to end relatively soon? I don't know.  
> warning; this shit gets dark but I don't go into too much detail because I feel too bad when writing it
> 
> Also I didn't edit this so there are almost definitely typos and sentences that don't make sense- maybe I'' go through it later who knows?

It wasn't long before Bill and Mike made it to the classroom to, and the group was trying to decide what the fuck they were meant to do. They weren't getting anywhere- skipping made sense because it meant Richie and Eddie were guaranteed to be safe- but they couldn't just skip the rest of high-school and there would just be more rumors if they suddenly disappeared. Both boys wanted to just stay with each other so they weren't alone- but what would people say if they were together? Should they even let it bother them? How wouldn't it bother them? The one thing that was certain was that when not in a lesson at least one loser would stay with Richie and Eddie, and if there were lessons where Richie and Eddie were by themselves someone would pick them up. Richie was already bruised enough and Eddie was far too small to defend himself against any member of Bower's gang (or anyone to be honest). They were also all skipping period 1- instead staying in room 9.

"Why can't we just run away forever? Spaghetti you'll leave with me wont you?" Richie asked, only half joking.

"Rich we can't just run away, although I do really want to," Eddie replied- less angry now but still very much sulking.

"I-i-it will b-be fine g-g-guys. G-give it a w-w-week and p-people won't c-care anymore," Bill reasoned.

"It still a week of this bullshit though," Beverly added.

"Guys," Stan silenced the group, "We'll stay here until period 2- Eddie has history with me and Richie has social studies with Bev. Then at break we can come back here or just stand at our usual spot until someone messes with us. Okay? Then period 3 and 4 will be easier after you guys go through period 2. What do you have period 3?"

"Biology," Eddie answered.

"See- you're together. So just keep your heads low and ignore the bullshit. Yeah?"

"That's a good plan," Ben agreed.

"I guess," Richie still wasn't sure and still very scared- but Eddie seemed content with this plan so he was fine with it too. If Eds was happy he was happy, "So how long do we have until second period?"

"15 minutes," Mike answered.

The group carried on talking about more normal things- like movies for Friday and when they were going to go to the quarry. Everything was feeling better. Eddie still wanted Richie to sit at the table- everyone did. School would be shit but at least he'd have the losers. Stan also said Richie could stay at his, after somehow getting his things. So that was good.

 

*

 

Social studies was about how Richie expected it to be, unfortunately him and Beverly showed up slightly late meaning it was easy for people to stare at him- not that him being on time would've made any difference. He sat next to Bev at the back and could here people whispering about him- word of him defending Eddie at the locker had also gotten around and the whole situation was being exaggerated and twisted. Thankfully after a while people stopped making comments under their breath and most people stopped staring, to instead focus on their work. But this all certainly wasn't over- in a homophobic, bigoted, backwards town like Derry he'd be thankful if all he got was stares and a few comments. Richie and Beverly were able to get through the lesson chatting and doing their work like usual- after a few minutes everything almost felt normal. Almost.

Break was shit- him and Beverly got out the classroom after the rest of the class and by the time they left the halls were pretty crowded. On the long, slow walk to Bill's locker he felt everyone's eyes burning into his back, everyone was looking and everyone knew his biggest secret. Why did it matter anyway? It's twenty-fucking-eighteen yet the residents of Derry are still bent the wrong way over people being gay? Richie knew, deep down, he wasn't wrong for liking Eds, Eds wasn't wrong for liking him, the only wrong and fucked up people were the homophobic and bigoted assholes who had a problem with him and Eddie. But with everyone telling him otherwise it felt impossible to believe- how could something be right if everyone said it was wrong?

Him and Beverly got to the others within a few minutes, and naturally Richie stood next to Eddie- however, when Eddie went to reach for his hand in a reassuring way he couldn't help but flinch and jump back a little. He didn't mean to- God he'd never dream of rejecting Eddie. But everyone was looking and laughing at them. Everyone knew he was a fag. He looked down at Eds, who now wore a hurt face and he felt awful. How could he do that to Eddie? Why did he do that? They were right- not wrong. It was fine-

"Richie?" Beverly asked, all the losers now looking concerned about him. He couldn't look at them, they were being too nice- this was his fault. He shouldn't have told them anything. Now they know how weak he is and just feel bad for him and he's ruined everything with Eddie- he used to always hug Eddie and wrap his arm around him in public and now he can barely look at his own boyfriend because some dickhead a few lockers over was looking at them.

"I- I should head to the library. I have... A history assignment... Yeah," Before anyone could stop him Richie rushed off down the corridor. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now- he felt awful. One moment he felt like he could get through everything but then someone looks at him disgusted or laughs at something and everything comes crashing down around him. Eds is going to be upset now too... Richie fucking jumped away from him and then run off... Shit- what if Eds breaks up with him? Or thinks Richie wants to break up? He can talk to Eds later, it'll be fine. Eds will understand. Or he won't and he'll be mad and hate Richie. Fuck.

Richie made a sharp right turn down another hallway- he didn't know where he was going but he needed to go somewhere to figure everything out-

"Hey faggot!" Richie looked up to see Henry fucking Bowers slowly walking towards him with Victor by his side, he turned around to run because right now he really didn't care about looking like a pussy, but was greeted with Patrick and Belch. He turned around to face Henry again and felt a firm hand on his shoulder- holding it so tight it would probably bruise- making sure Richie wasn't running everywhere.

"Where's your little boyfriend?" Henry asked in a mocking tone, "Not here to save you?"

"Shut the fuck up Bowers," Richie spat in response- he really couldn't be bothered with this shit right now.

"Oh getting angry? Didn't you learn after I beat the shit out of you last week?" Henry laughed at Richie, he probably looked pathetic right now.

"You're a fucking piece of shit," Richie was pissed off enough as it was. He didn't fucking need Henry Bowers being an asshole right now- or ever honestly.

Henry nodded his head towards the bathrooms conveniently next to where Richie was being tormented and suddenly Richie felt himself being shoved inside- there was someone in there, a guy called Sam or something. Richie recognized him as one of the freshmen. As soon as Richie was dragged in though Sam fled- he'd be stupid not to. Belch stood in front of the door- it was a push so with him there no one could get in. Great. Patrick forcefully shoved Richie against the sinks- hurting one of the many bruises on his back and before he knew it he was surrounded by Henry, Patrick and Victor. The three looked at him for a second before a smirk made it's way onto Henry's face- it was pure evil. Richie was terrified.

Henry stepped back slightly, and Richie shut his eyes, anticipating a hit or kick or something. But before he knew it Henry was back- right in front of him. Too close, "I fucking hate queers like you, Tozier. You're fucked n the head."

All Richie could manage to do was gulp- he felt himself start to shake again too, and unfortunate thing he'd do when sad, angry or any other negative emotion. Still anticipating a hit of some sort he was shocked when he suddenly felt Henry's hand between his legs. He jumped at the contact and suddenly felt sick- Henry was... touching him...

"Wha- what are you doing...?" Was all Richie could get out, slowly feeling himself getting hard from the touch.

"Oh I bet you fucking love this- faggot," Henry sneered, earning a laugh from Patrick and a surprisingly shocked look from Victor.

"Stop it... Please, Henry... Stop..."

Henry didn't stop, he carried on touching Richie and the more he did it the more sick Richie felt. He couldn't help but cry, he felt so weak and they wouldn't stop, he carried on pleading but after not so long Patrick covered Richie's mouth with his hand preventing Richie from making anymore noise and Richie was forced to just let it happen.

Henry and the others finally left, Victor surprisingly looking at Richie with a sense of sympathy. Richie was left on the floor with his jeans still unzipped, silently sobbing. He had no clue what time it was but based on the silence that surrounded the school it was almost definitely period 3. Meaning Eds was in biology by himself- probably mad that Richie ditched him, then all the losers would get mad and not want him and he'd be even more alone.

 

*

 

Eddie was freaking out about Richie- he obviously had reacted far worse to the whole situation than Eddie had- and Eddie reacted fucking badly. It's understandable, obviously. But Richie, he's not acting like himself. He'd always hug or touch Eddie at school- even platonically back when they were only friends. But today, at break, he flinched and went all weird when Eddie went to touch his hand to reassure him everything would work itself out. Then he fucking ran off for some assignment? He wasn't even trying to come up with a believable lie. Why wouldn't he tell Eddie- or anyone what was wrong? And when Richie ran off why would Stan stop Eddie from following- what does Stan know? Why after Stan stopped Eddie did the others tell Eddie Richie needed time to calm down, Richie needed to talk to Eddie.

Now Eddie was in biology and Richie was nowhere to be seen. Eddie kept telling himself that Richie wasn't avoiding him and at lunch Richie would come to the table and apologize and then they could sit next to each other and everything would be semi-normal. They could deal with the looks together and within a week no one would visibly care. Everything would be normal. But what if Richie was avoiding him? What if Richie wanted to break up? OR he just ran out of the school and wasn't going to come back- just stay at his house with Wentworth and Maggie...

Eddie suddenly felt his hundredth asthma attack that day come on, but thankfully was able to stop it- not interrupting the teacher or gaining anymore weird looks from other students. He needed to calm down, he was pretty much fine- there were more rumors now and more people calling him names- but the names and rumors themselves weren't knew. People constantly spread shit about Eddie being gay and sleeping with some guy a few towns over. Maybe that's why Richie wasn't dealing with this well? Sure he'd taken shit from other people but this was different, and Richie was so insecure about it. Wentworth is to thank for that- fucking asshole.

Suddenly Eddie realizes he needs to find Richie- from Bills locker the library is down the hall and to the right, then to the left- or just straight on and to the left further down. so Eddie had to somehow get out of this fucking classroom. He raised his hand to ask to go to the toilet and was ignored for a few seconds before his teacher noticed, "Yes Edward?"

"Can I go to the toilet please, Sir?"

"Edward you know the rules here. Why didn't you go at break?"

"I uhh- I don't know. Please can I go."

"We only have 15 minutes left, you can wait until change over."

Eddie groaned and sunk into his seat- as he spoke up and drew attention to himself people were now whispering things to one another, most likely about him. The thought made him feel sick for a second but then he remembered Richie- he needed to stay strong so he could assure Richie it would all be fine and nothing would happen to them- everything would work itself out.

Eddie wasn't able to find Richie at change over- students were given 5 minutes to get from class to class however, you'd only really be classed as late after 10 minutes. Eddie practically ran to the library and it was pretty much empty. Richie also wasn't in the library toilets or on the way there- either route. So Eddie assumed he'd either show up at lunch or he just left school. Period 4 was torture- Eddie couldn't think about anything besides Richie, worrying about where he went and why he wouldn't talk to Eddie. Had Eddie upset him? Was it because Eddie tried holding his hand? It was stupid for Eddie to do- after everything happened he shouldn't have done it, but how could he help himself? Richie looked so sad- like he needed reassurance everything would be okay. Because it would be- eventually. Soon enough Richie and Eddie would be happy, they could hug or kiss wherever the fuck they wanted and anyone who had a problem with it could fuck off.

Eddie spent the first 10 minutes of lunch desperately staring at the entrance of the canteen, hoping Richie would walk in smiling like usual before coming to their table and telling Eddie how cute he was. Then he'd do some annoying accent that Eddie secretly found hilariously adorable and then they'd hug and everything would be okay. Richie would go home with Stan at the end of the day and be safe and Eddie could sleep well knowing Richie was okay.

"E-E-Eddie, are y-you okay?"

Eddie snapped out of his thoughts at Bill's question, "I couldn't find Richie earlier and now he's not showing up at lunch... Do you think he's okay?"

"Where did you look?" Mike asked.

"The library and both the ways there from Bill's locker."

"Maybe he went home?" Bev suggested

"He wouldn't go home," Stan stated.

"A classroom maybe? Or the toilets- did you check the library toilets?" Ben asked

"Yeah, and room 9 was on the way there and I looked there too."

"W-what about t-the toilets on t-the w-way t-to the l-l-library?"

Eddie suddenly remembered the toilets about half way between Bill's locker and the library. They were hardly used and Eddie had completely forgotten about them when he was rushing to the library, "I'll check now, umm-I'll be back in a bit," Eddie quickly put his lunch back in his bag and put his bag on his back before rushing off- it wasn't like;y Richie would be there but this was his last hope. There was nowhere else in the school Richie could be- he wouldn't go anywhere where other people could see him so it really was either the library, room 9 or these mystery toilets.

 

*

 

Richie couldn't tell if he'd been in the toilets for seconds or hours when he heard the door open, he jumped out of his skin at the sound and realized he was still slumped on the ground crying with his pants undone. His brain automatically went to the worst case scenario- it was Henry and Patrick coming back to torment him more. Richie couldn't help but shuffle backwards and push himself into the corner opposite the door- terrified of anyone and everyone.

"Richie, oh my god..." The voice was quiet but Richie'd recognize it anywhere, he opened his eyes- not even realizing he'd shut them to see Eddie standing there, looking equally worried and confused. Eddie ran over to him and crouched on the floor next to him, Richie flinched back from Eddie being so close causing Eddie to whisper, "It's just me Rich, what's wrong? Are you okay?" ddie slowly moved one of his hands and placed it on one of Richie's arms that he was holding in front of him. He was still crying and breathing heavier but the realization that Eddie was here because he cared and didn't want to hurt Richie calmed him down a little.

"Richie- what happened? Did someone hurt you?"

Richie couldn't answer, he physically couldn't talk and instead just cried more, he moved his arms away from his body to hug Eds before remembering his pants were still unzipped and both his jeans and underwear were sitting far lower than usual, leaving him slightly exposed- Eddie noticed and looked at Richie with confusion and Richie felt himself break- crying hysterically and collapsing into Eddie's arms.

After a while he was finally able to whisper, "they hurt me Eds..."

Eddie pulled away from Richie but Richie just fell further into Eddie- not wanting to look at him. How was Richie meant to tell Eddie he got a... Henry Bowers touched him up with assistance from Patrick. Eds would be mad and hate him and he'd seem like a fucking pussy for letting it happen.

"Who hurt you? They hit you?"

It took a second for Richie to reply, "Bowers... And Patrick..."

"Did they hit you?" Eddie's voice was soft and gentle, yet angry and protective at the same time. Richie had never seen this side of Eddie before, but he liked it.

"...No."

"What then?"

"They... They touched me Eds... I- I'm sorry. They wouldn't let me go- I begged them to s-stop and-"

"Wait they..."

"I don't know. I'm sorry, they wouldn't let me talk... Or-or leave... They just..."

"Richie oh my god, don't apologize, it's not your fault. None this is your fault okay? You're fucking perfect okay, I fucking love you and none of this is your fault."

"I'm- I'm so sorry..."

Eddie shushed Richie and pulled him into a hug. Richie didn't deserve any of this shit- absolutely none of it. The constant abuse from Wentworth, Maggie's laziness, these rumors, whatever the fuck Bowers did to him. Yet it was always him- always Richie. everything would get so good but then Wentworth would hit him or Someone would take some picture. And what made it worse was Eddie couldn't do anything about it.

The two boys stayed hugging on the floor before Eddie decided they should leave- Sonia was at work so they could leave the school and stay at his until school was over. Then they'd come meet the losers. Eddie helped Richie up and helped fix his jeans, Richie was obviously embarrassed and ashamed of whatever happened- but Eddie was going to make sure Richie knew none of this was his fault and that Eddie loved him with all of his fucking heart.


	17. Eds was all he needed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this whole chapter is probably very unrealistic but it's fiction, so leave me be lmao :)))

Eddie and Richie left the school before lunch was over and didn't bother saying goodbye to the other losers- they'd understand. Eddie could just text them later saying him and Richie needed to talk about everything- which wasn't a lie. They did need to talk, Eddie just also needed to make sure Richie would be okay. Stan had offered for Richie to stay at his- so depending on how Richie was feeling him and Eddie could either walk down to the school and meet the losers, or Eddie could just text Stan before Sonia got home to collect Richie from his house. Eddie wished Richie could stay with him instead, but it was safer for Richie to go with Stan. Especially if Sonia saw the picture of Eddie and Richie- which was definitely possible. Eddie didn't know what he was going to tell his mother if she saw the photo, he assumed she was homophobic like everyone else in this town- but she did love him. Eddie couldn't deny it was him in the photo because it was at their house, and the angle the photo was taken from shows very clearly Eddie and Richie kissing. It would be fine though- that wasn't Eddie's main concern right now. Richie was.

Richie was silent the whole walk to Eddie's- what was he even meant to say? Or talk about? Eds kept trying to reassure him they'll work everything out and eventually they'll be happy, but Richie's been waiting 15 years for things to work themselves out and nothing ever changes. Even if he does stay with Stan for a while, they'll eventually get sick of him. Then he'll be back with Wentworth and Maggie and it'll all turn to shit again. And what happens next time Richie sees Henry or Patrick? Victor and Belch wouldn't do anything by themselves- but Patrick and Henry... What if they saw him and Eddie together? Or just Eds, if they hurt Richie they'd probably do it to Eds too. Richie couldn't let that happen, he'd have to stay with Eddie all day, every day to make sure he was safe. But that would just make people target them more- the two fags never leaving each other's sides. That's just asking for something to happen.

Nothing really happened to Eddie today- nothing physical at least. He was called worse names and had his locker drawn all over but that's just because people keep calling him the 'girl'. Whatever the fuck that means. And Richie was only hurt when he was by himself- like at the lockers. So if they just stayed with the losers it would be fine. Not that the losers would even look at Richie the same if they knew what Henry did. They couldn't know- they'd find him disgusting and weak for letting it happen. Only he and Eds could know. What if it spread? What if Henry told people- Henry wouldn't tell people though. It would make him gay too. But Henry wasn't gay, just taking advantage of Richie and being a dick. Right? It was just a sick way of messing with him and-

"Rich," Eds was still speaking softly to Richie, which was nice- but it made Richie feel small. Like Eddie was protecting him and felt bad for him, Richie didn't need sympathy. He was fine- he'd be fine... Eventually. He just had too much shit going on for Eddie to worry about, it was a lot for Richie and he should be used to it. Eddie wouldn't be able to cope. 

"Richie," Eddie repeated. Richie looked at Eds, they were at Eddie's house. Richie didn't even realize they'd been walking that long. Eddie still looked just as worried about Richie as he had when he found Richie in the bathroom.

"Yeah," Richie mumbled.

"We should go inside, yeah?" Eddie's voice cracked a bit, Richie noticed. And he looked really sad- like really sad. It'd been a shitty day at school and they didn't even stay the whole day. Richie still felt bad for Eddie, it's his fault this all happened- no matter how many times Eddie or Stan or anyone tell him it wasn't his fault, he knew they were just being nice and trying to calm him down. It was so clearly his fault and Richie felt so bad. It's surprising Eddie's not mad at Richie, honestly. He came crawling into his room Sunday night, caused all this shit at school, ran away from him and then all that shit with Henry.

"Sure," Richie followed a concerned looking Eddie to the door and once they were in followed Eds up to his room. Richie didn't know what to do or say or anything, so he just sat on the bed and looked at the floor. Not wanting to look at Eddie, Eds probably found him pathetic. He was pretty pathetic, honestly.

"I'm sorry Eds," Richie said again, unsure of what he was apologizing for but it felt necessary. 

"Richie, please stop apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong- at all," Eddie sat next to Richie, who was still looking at the floor- fidgeting with his fingers, Eds placed one of his hands on Richie's, "Richie..."

Richie looked at Eddie, who was crying again. It felt like all him and Eddie did recently was cry. He hated it, he just wanted to be happy. For him and Eddie- and all the losers- to just be happy. But happiness didn't seem to like the losers, for whatever reason.

"But Spaghetti... Don't you get it? I'm fucking pathetic. If I just stayed home on Sunday we wouldn't have been outed- or if at school today I actually did something to stop it. Anything. It could be better. I ran away from my problems, I stupidly kissed you without checking to see if anyone was there, I hid in room 9 with Stan not doing anything to stop what they were doing to you, I ran away from you when you tried to hold my hand. Look at everything I've caused. Wentworth's right- I am just a fucking pussy."

"Richie, no. No, no, no. Don't say that-  _please_ stop saying that. I know you don't believe me- believe any of us. But it's not your fault. You ran away  _because_ of Wentworth, we were outed  _because_ of Greta, you didn't hide in room 9- you tried to stop it but couldn't. And don't you dare blame yourself for whatever Henry did to you- okay? I know you don't like being viewed as weak, but in this case you're the one in the right- the victim. both of us are."

"I just can't help but blame myself Eds, shit always happens to me- so I must have something to do with it."

"No Richie, you're fucking perfect- okay?"

Richie didn't know how to respond, he was never good with compliments. His parents only ever criticized him and despite loving every loser, they'd often just tell him to be quiet and call him annoying. So Richie just followed his instincts and instead of replying to Eddie, kissed him. It was different to their previous kisses- gentle, soft, less desperate. It felt... Well like love- Richie knew he loved Eddie, he always had to be honest. But he was glad he realized it- even with everyone treating them like shit. Even if the world was against them Richie knew, in that moment with Eddie, Eds was all he needed.  _His_ Eds.

 

*

 

Eddie had texted Stan to meet him and Richie at his house. Richie was feeling better, after talking to and crying with Eddie. He still thought it was his fault- but seemed slightly happier. But he didn't want to walk to the school, who knows what people would come up with if they realized Richie and Eddie skipped together- there were enough rumors already. Eddie promised he wouldn't tell Stan or any of the others why they skipped or why Richie wasn't there after break (not that Eddie ever would anyway) but would tell Stan they just needed to skip and prepare to face it all tomorrow.

Stan was able to phone his dad at lunch and explain everything to him, it turns out Donald and Andrea already had suspicions about Richie's home life, and were happy to let him stay at theirs for as long as they needed. The plan was for Donald to drive Stan to Eddie's and pick up the two boys before driving to Richie's house. Wentworth would be at work and Maggie would either be drunk and/or passed out. And if she was for some reason sober and awake, she wouldn't care anyways. Richie would go in the house, with Donald at the door in case he needed to step in, and Richie would get his things Stan and Eddie would wait in the car and then in theory they'd be done way before Went got home. Richie would have a safe home and Eddie would be able to relax and not worry about Richie after school anymore. Then they'd just have to figure out what to do about school.

It turns out Maggie was awake, and wasn't happy with Donald showing up with Richie after she found out why he was there. Eddie and Stan couldn't hear from the car but she seemed very offended at whatever Donald had said, she tried pulling Richie in the house- leaving Donald outside- but Donald clearly wasn't having any of it. The longer the conversation went on the louder they got, and Stan and Eddie could hear what was happening a lot clearer. Maggie claiming Donald had no right to say her and Wentworth were bad parents and Richie was perfectly happy and safe with them, and then Donald pointing to Richie's bruises saying no child in a safe environment looks how Richie does.

The situation went from bad to worse when Maggie took it upon herself to stand in front of Richie and pushing him behind her- against the wall next to the door. Adamant to not let Donald take her son she ended up essentially pinning Richie against the wall- which obviously triggered something as Richie suddenly started visibly panicking, "Eddie, Richie looks really scared, should we go or something?" Stan asked, obviously worried too.

Eddie looked at Richie more who was, yet again, on the verge of hysterically crying. Eddie instantly rushed out the car and ran to the situation, followed by Stan, "You try to get in the house? Maybe? I don't know, I'll make sure Richie is okay?" Eddie suggested.

Stan agreed and as they approached the house tried to make his way to the door- causing Maggie to loosen her group on Richie. Eddie took that as an opportunity to get hold of Richie, who was having a panic attack of some-sorts and pull him into a hug. Maggie began screaming more at Donald about how she was going to call the police if they didn't 'leave her and her son alone' and that very clearly annoyed Donald, "And I'm sure they'd love to know why your son is covered in bruises and scars and very clearly not happy in this household."

"You have no idea what you're talking about, Mr. Uris. Me and my husband are nothing but good to that boy. You have no evidence to prove us otherwise."

Richie was still crying into Eddie's shoulder but looked up at Maggie to say something for the first time since being there, "They have my word ma," he said it quietly but Maggie definitely heard him.

"Richard you have nothing negative to say about me or your father."

"Really mom?" Richie looked completely in shock, "I'm called a fucking faggot or pussy daily by Wentworth and you do jack-shit to stop him hurting me. I want to go with Stan and Eddie- I want to stay with Mr and Mrs. Uris."

Maggie looked stunned at Richie finally speaking up, and didn't seem very happy with his arm over Eddie's shoulders and Eddie hugging his waist. But she didn't say anything about it, "Fine- go off with the Uris's. Your father won't be at all happy- and don't expect to be let back here when you realize how good we are to you."

"Can the boy get his things then?" Donald asked.

"If he wants to leave he can leave- but he's not coming in here again."

"Mam, he's going to at least need his school things."

"Maybe he should have thought about that before deciding he didn't need his family."

Donald finally gave up trying to reason with Maggie and just accepted Richie wouldn't be getting his things. He led the three boys back to the car and they all piled in the back- both Stan and Eddie wanting to be there with Richie. It was decided that Richie's current outfit would just have to be washed for the next day and then after school tomorrow they could get Richie some new things. Donald also said he would contact the school about Richie not having his subject books or text books (besides the few in his locker) and the school would just have to accept it. The Uris family were also happy to keep Richie for as long as he needed- which seemed like it would be a while. Richie was also told that they'd try to get him a new phone, which made Eddie happy. It meant he'd be able to text Richie every night and make sure he was completely okay. It also meant that Stan had told his dad parts of what was happening to Richie already, which was good. Maybe him having a better understanding of it would mean he could go to the school or police or something about Wentworth and Maggie. Although Richie would probably be scared to tell someone, so maybe they wouldn't.

Eddie was dropped off at his house just as Sonia was getting home- he'd have to explain to her he was fine and not being kidnapped or anything, but it'd be okay. He hugged Richie goodbye- the taller boy was still crying slightly, which really wasn't surprising. But Eddie knew he'd be safe with Stan's family and tomorrow he'd be able to talk to him on the way to school. He wouldn't be able to walk from his to Bill's with Richie anymore, but it was a small price to pay for Richie's safety. And they could still talk just to each other the whole way from Bill's to the school. so it would be fine.


	18. love, your spaghetti man

It was Richie's birthday, meaning it had been a few months since he and Eddie were outed and everything happened with Henry. The two of them still got looks from people at school, obviously. And they were still called faggots and queers- but every day it got slightly better. Henry was still an asshole, which wasn't surprising. Richie didn't tell any of the losers what happened to him- it would just make him seem pathetic. But a couple weeks after it happened he told Eddie everything- not even just about Henry. He spent probably an hour just crying to Eddie about how he was scared and weak and ashamed of everything that happened the past year, that he was sorry for being how he was. Eddie just hugged him and said that he loved Richie and that nothing would ever change that.

Living with Stan was good too, Wentworth and Maggie obviously weren't too affected by Richie's absence- they never came to the Uris household demanding to see their son or went to the police or school or whoever about Richie just leaving. It was weird living with a family that cared- with Donald and Andrea who would go above and beyond to make sure Stan and now Richie were completely happy. Richie felt weird at first, like he was invading their time as a family and messing everything up- but, it didn't take long for it to feel like Richie slightly belonged. He'd still leave to sneak into Eddie's some nights, he didn't have anything against the Uris's- they saved him. But sometimes if he was just having a bad day he needed to be with Eddie, thankfully Stan and his parents understood.

The picture of Richie and Eddie kissing ended up getting to Sonia through another parent, unfortunately. Eddie came to school in tears about a week after the photo got out saying that Sonia saw and might kick him out, this obviously worried the group as Richie already had to stay with Stan and they weren't sure if Eddie could stay with any of them. Thankfully however, Sonia didn't kick him out. She completely ignored him for a month and a half before saying that it didn't bother her anymore- she would have preferred if Eddie was with a 'nice young girl' or 'even a nicer boy, like the Jew or Bill'. So everything was working out, and it was fun to joke about Sonia suggesting Bill and Stan as better partners for Eddie.

However, Eddie was freaking out because he was trying to perfect Richie's present and was extremely worried he'd end up fucking it all up. Richie got Eddie a playlist for his birthday, which he absolutely adored. He'd listen to it every day and really wanted Richie to make him another one, but it felt rude asking. Richie's music taste was just so diverse and he managed to pick the perfect songs for Eddie- they all sounded good together but also all meant something. Eddie was trying to achieve the same effect, but wasn't nearly as good. Stan and his family were getting Richie an upgraded phone as a present, he'd been using a flip-phone for the past few months which worked- but the Uris's wanted to get him something big for his birthday. Eddie was also getting Richie a nice pair of headphones, it seemed fitting with the present and wanted to get him something physical as well as sentimental.

Eddie wrote the playlist out on a card- similar to how Richie had for him. Richie apologized for Eddie's playlist being on a card, that it wasn't on Spotify already and it was only a piece of paper- but Eddie loved it. He kept the card folded in half and in the back of his phone case, so whenever he was bored he could look at it, he loved the drawings all over it and reading what Richie wrote about each song. It meant the world to Eddie, and he wanted to give Richie the same thing. However, Eddie couldn't draw. At all. Richie claimed that his drawings were bad, but Richie new damn well he had some talent. Eddie instead opted for sticking photos on the back of the card- it was only small so the pictures were printed tiny and not the clearest- but it's the thought that counts. Eddie also printed out some of his favorite photos to be the size of the card- there was one of all the losers when they first became friends, a picture Mike took of Eddie and Richie at one of their sleepovers, Eddie was laying between Richie's legs on the couch and was drowning in one of Richie's hoodies. Richie had his chin resting on Eddie's head- it was one of Eddie's favorite photos. Then there was one of Richie and Eddie swimming at the quarry, again taken by Mike, Eddie was in the water with his head resting on his arms that were on the rock Richie was sitting on- neither of them knew Mike took the photo but both were glad he did. The last picture Eddie chose was one of the two boys kissing- Bill took it as a joke at a different sleepover but Eddie liked the photo, the only other photo of them kissing was the one Greta Bowie sent out- so Eddie wanted that photo to take it's place in a sense, show that a picture of them like that could be a good thing. And that they have moved on from everything that happened because of Greta, mainly.

Eddie finished the details on the card and wrote at the bottom 'love, your spaghetti man' before putting it, an actual birthday card and the four photos in an envelope. He picked up the headphones as well, which were already wrapped and went to leave for school. He had to walk to Bill's by himself now, after Richie moved in with Stan- but he didn't mind. He had plenty of time alone with Richie, and he'd much rather have to walk a few minutes without Richie and know Richie's safe than be able to walk with Richie and be constantly worrying about Richie. He met the others at the usual spot and Richie was showing off his new phone, they all knew he was getting one and were all happy to see how pleased Richie was with it. Richie was facing away from Eddie, so Eddie took it as an opportunity to run up behind Richie and hug him, the two gave up on trying to hide their relationship completely after Sonia decided she wasn't mad. They wouldn't kiss, or really hug that often in public. But they weren't scared to touch either. Richie jumped and turned around before hugging Eddie back, "Eds!" he cheered happily before spinning them around a bit, causing the other losers to jokingly 'awe' at them.

"Here, Rich- let go so I can get your present," Eddie said, trying to squirm away from Richie.

"Why Eds, what present could be better than your company?"

"Hopefully this," Eddie replied- finally getting out of Richie's grip. He unzipped his bag and rummaged around for the presents- he found the small box that held the headphones first, and quickly after pulled out the envelope with the card, playlist and photos in it, "Here you go, trashmouth."

Richie took the presents and the other loses came to look at what Eddie got Richie, Richie opened the box first revealing the headphones, "Oh my god Eds, they're so cool! And you all knew I was getting a phone?"

"Yeah," Eddie answered, "Stan told us last month- and I don't know much about headphones but those are supposedly really good."

"I've heard of them," Beverly agreed.

"I just like the colors honestly," Richie replied- Eddie chose to get Richie the blue and white ones, because they matched Eddie's favorite hoodie that Richie gave Eddie, Eddie couldn't tell if Richie picked up on it or just liked the colors. He probably just liked the colors. He put the headphones in his pocket before opening the envelope- far too carelessly for Eddie's liking. He took out the birthday card first, which just had an extremely cliche and cheesy message in it. But Richie was actually quite cheesy, so it'd be fine- and his stupid, dopey grin became far bigger when reading it over. Then he took out the photos and he just smiled more, which made Eddie proud.

"W-w-what are th-they?" Bill asked, causing Richie to hold the photos in a way that they could all look at them. The group again, awed at the photos and Eddie was just glad Richie liked the present so far.

After they all looked at the photos Richie took the playlist out, he scanned the other photos on the back of it, they were just pictures of the two of them, Eddie didn't see as much meaning in them as the other ones he chose which is why they were just on the back of the playlist. Richie read the songs over, smiling more and more with each one and when he got to the end he read out loud, "Love, your spaghetti man- So you don't hate it when I call you Spaghetti? Huh Eds?"

"I guess not," Eddie replied, smiling at how happy Richie obviously was. Then out of nowhere Richie launched himself at Eddie and hugged him extremely tightly, Eddie hugged him back and they stood like that for what felt like forever until someone driving by decided to ruin the moment by shouting "faggots" at them. Bill flipped them off as Richie and Eddie pulled away.

"Shit," Ben started, "You two are adorable and we love you both very much but come on, we're going to be late."

The group carried on their walk to school, and as they went Eddie noticed Richie put one of the photos in his phone case. Stan's parents also got Richie a clear phone case, but now the picture of Eddie laying between Richie's legs was on his phone. Richie also kept reading over the songs and birthday card, everyone was talking to each other besides Richie and Eddie, who were walking next to each other with Richie's arm over Eddie's shoulders like usual. Eddie was going to make sure this was the best birthday Richie has ever had.

 

*

 

Lunch was as good as it usually was, Eddie and Richie still occasionally getting called some slur and Henry and his little following weirdly staring at Richie and Eddie if they were in the cafeteria. The slurs didn't affect them at this point really, they'd been putting up with them for months now. However, if Henry was there and was looking at them Richie would sometimes freak out, and if they came over it was (understandably) even worse. Once they came over to take Stan's kippah and throw it across the cafeteria, as they walked off Henry weirdly tapped Richie's back- Eddie understood what Henry was doing. After the day Greta decided to out them to everyone and Henry did what he did- all he had to do was touch Richie for Richie to start freaking out. Richie very clearly tried to keep his panic inside, Eddie assumed he was still embarrassed and ashamed by what happened, which was completely understandable. Eddie probably would be too. But today had to be good- no Henry Bowers and hopefully only the occasional slur, Richie couldn't have a panic attack on his birthday- that would ruin the whole day for him.

Later on, they had all planned to go down to Bill's house, they'd just hang out and eat cake and other foods, Richie didn't like huge, big things arranged for his birthday. He'd just want to hang out with the losers, and as it was March and freezing out, the best place to do that was Bill's house. Then afterwards Richie was going to spend the night at Eddie's- Eddie had asked Sonia, who said no, so Richie would have to sneak in but, it would be worth it.

"So Rich, good birthday so far?" Beverly asked, between bites of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Yeah it's been amazing, I didn't expect to get anything really," Richie answered, smiling at the group for probably the thousandth time that day.

"W-w-why w-wouldn't you e-e-expect anything? W-we always g-get you p-presents?"

"Like the amount I got I guess- and how amazing they all are," Besides the phone, headphones and playlist, Richie had received a camera from Mike- who said he'd probably like photography if he liked art, a huge box of various candies from Ben and Bill and Beverly put their money together to get him a pair of Vans. 

"Well you deserve all of it," Beverly stated.

"I guess- it's amazing though, like seriously- thank you."

 

*

 

The day at school was shockingly perfect, nothing happened to any of the losers and Richie was actually having a good birthday. The past few months have been weird for Richie- but in a good way. He was living with Stan, who was probably his best friend. It was weird not being scared or feeling lonely. Having people like Donald and Andrea, he wasn't even their kid yet they cared about him, they made sure he was okay and went to the school to explain the whole situation. Richie's emergency contact for the school was now Andrea, and both her and Donald were able to explain to the school that Richie wouldn't be able to get his work books and text books, and the school actually understood. The weekend after Richie moved in with Stan they went to a mall just outside of Derry and Richie and Stan both got a bunch of new clothes, however about half of the hoodies Richie got have since been stolen by Eddie, and Richie got his own bed and things for Stan's room. It was so surreal- he was actually wanted by a family. And Richie felt like a part of the family, not fully- but he felt happy living with them.

Richie and Stan were on the way to the house now, as Richie was staying at Eddie's tonight he needed to get a spare change of clothes for the next day. He also had to bring all his school stuff to Bill's, as he wouldn't have time to get his stuff from Stan's tomorrow before school, why did his birthday have to fall on a Tuesday? This would be so much easier on a Friday or Saturday. He'd also have to sneak out of Eddie's house before 7 tomorrow- when Sonia came to wake up Eddie. But Eddie said he'd make up some excuse to leave for school early, and they could just hang out in Derry for a little while.

Once at Stan's house- or their house. Was it Richie's house? Kind of. Richie ran upstairs and grabbed the first pair of jeans and hoodie he could find from the pile on the floor, before Richie moved in the room was insanely clean, much like the rest of the house, but Richie couldn't help being messy. It's how he is- it's who he is. He's a complete mess, so his room just reflects that. It annoys Stan- a lot- but annoying Stan is almost as satisfying as annoying Eddie so, Richie didn't really mind. Richie also took off his dirty sneakers he was wearing to instead put on the Vans Bill and Bev got him- they were the black old schools, Richie fucking loved them. He'd probably just wear them for the rest of his life, honestly. Once back downstairs and out the house him and Stan made their way to Bill's, where everyone else headed straight after school to 'set up'- Richie had no clue what they had planned.

When they got to Bill's Beverly let them in and instantly Richie's eyes went to the huge chocolate cake set out in the kitchen where everyone else was waiting, he said a quick 'hi' to Beverly and rushed over to the cake, quickly followed by Stan and Beverly, "Holy shit is this for me?" It was a stupid question, considering the cake had 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICHIE' written across it, but Richie was stupid when he was happy.

"No," Stan answered, "It's for our other friend Richie. He's coming over soon."

"Y-yes i-it's for y-you i-i-idiot," Bill said while handing Richie a knife to cut the cake.

"This looks so good," Richie started as he cut the first slice of cake- it did look delicious, it was two layers of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting on top and between the two layers. It also had M&M's all over the top, which was amazing, "Where did you get it from?"

"Me and Ben made it," Eddie replied- with a proud grin on his face.

"Eddie said chocolate was your favorite- so we added as much chocolate as possible," Ben added.

"Well my Eds clearly knows me very well. This looks fucking amazing!"

Richie served everyone up a slice, giving himself an overly huge slice, obviously. Once everyone had their piece of cake they made their way into Bill's living room, unsure on what to do now. Ben suggested a film, but they did that every Friday. Richie didn't really care what they did, honestly. It was already the best birthday he's ever had- they could literally sit in silence for the next few hours and he'd be grateful.

"Why don't we play truth or dare?" Beverly suggested, "Or something else like it?"

"Truth or dare is fun, lets play that," Richie replied.

"Okay- so, who first?" Mike asked.

"Richie! On my birthday I went first, so Richie goes first," Eddie determinedly stated.

"Okay cool, I choose dare," Richie said looking at the losers one by one.

"Oh I-I-I h-have one! Bill started, "Y-ypu should g-g-give Eddie a l-lap d-dance," Everyone laughed, except Eddie- who went bright red- knowing farewell Richie would gladly give him a lap dance. They already had music on, currently some Nicki Minaj song, which was perfect.

"No! Bill! Why would you say that?" Eddie protested, still bright fucking red.

"Eds, just go with it. A dares a dare, and you know you'll love it."

"Richie shut up. And no, Bill change the dare, please."

"F-fine, R-Richie y-you j-just h-have to s-sit in Eddie's l-l-lap for the r-rest of the n-night. F-fair?"

"That's just as bad!" Eddie whined. Everyone laughed at Eddie in a friendly way as Richie thought over his dares, he didn't want to annoy Eddie too much- so he opted to just sit in his lap.

"I swear dares are meant to be bad Billy-boy, you're just blessing me with the opportunity to be with my wonderful Spaghetti Bowel."

"Richie, I am not a fucking spaghetti bowel!"

Richie sat in Eddie's lap, while the losers were still chuckling at the situation and replied to Eds, "No- you're  _my_ fucking spaghetti bowel."

"Okay- who's next? And make it better this time," Beverly said.

"Let's go clockwise from where Richie was, so Ben?" Mike suggested.

"Okay- I choose truth," Ben replied.

"Oh!," Mike exclaimed, "Do you like Beverly?"

"What?" Ben was clearly not expecting the question. Beverly was also now significantly pinker.

"I think Mike means when are you and Beverly going to tell each other you like each other?" Stan stated, glaring at both Ben and Beverly.

"Don't drag me into this Stan," Beverly said, blushing even more, "And why would we do that in front of all of you?"

"Wait so we'd di it not in front of them?" Ben looked at Beverly shocked.

"Well I mean, I would. Sure."

"Ben," Bill interrupted, "Tell the girl you like her."

"Holy shit, you didn't fucking stutter!" Richie shouted.

"Way to ruin the moment, asshole," Mike slapped Richie lightly on the arm and everyone looked back at Ben.

"I uhh... I like you?" Ben said more like a question, still in shock about the whole situation.

"I like you too," Beverly said, smiling like there was no tomorrow.

"And they finally fucking say it, okay who's next?" Mike asked.

"Now who's ruining the moment, asshole?" Richie started, "And Spaghetti here is next."

 "Uhh, truth then," Eddie mumbled.

"Wait guys! I have an idea!" Beverly shouted very excitedly, now a lot closer to Ben who was still confused on the whole situation, "For truth can we do fuck, marry, kill too? And stuff like that?"

"S-s-sure, w-why n-not," Bill answered.

"Okay- cool. Eddie, my dear. Fuck, Marry, Kill- Richie, Stan and Patrick."

"That's not fair! Why is Stan in there?" Eddie asked, clearly not wanting to answer.

"Fuck, Marry, Kill. Richie, Stan, Patrick," Beverly stated.

"Uhhh," Eddie thought for a second, "Richie all three, honestly," the losers all laughed at the response.

"So, you want to fuck me?" Richie asked, smirking at Eddie from his lap.

Eddie went even redder than he did when Richie was dared to give him a lap dance, "What? No- I... I don't know."

"He also wants to kill you," Stan pointed out, sensing Eddie being slightly uncomfortable.

"Eds I'm kidding, calm down okay?" Richie said, feeling bad for making Eds so uncomfortable.

"And you can't have one person for all three," Beverly pointed out.

"Fine. Marry Stan, fuck Richie and kill Patrick."

"So, you  _do_ want to fuck me?" Richie joked, earning him a punch in his back.

The group carried on playing truth or dare until it was time for everyone to leave, it surprisingly went by quite quickly considering they were just daring each other to do stupid shit and asking each other stupid questions. Richie and Eddie left first, but everyone else was leaving soon after. It didn't take long to get to Eddie's, once they were there Eddie went in the front door and Richie went to climb the tree leading to Eddie's window. He'd only come up this way a few times since the whole photo incident, and he doesn't really like doing it- it just reminds him of the nights he'd have to sneak out because of Wentworth. But this was all worth it, to be with Eds. he got to the top and sat there, waiting for Eddie to let him in. Who knows how long Sonia would keep him downstairs, asking him about his day and lecturing him on anything and everything. And Richie probably looked extremely suspicious and weird just sitting in a tree like he was, hopefully no one sees him.

After about ten minutes Eddie finally comes into his room and rushes to the window, "Sorry I took so long, ma wouldn't let me come up until I told her every fucking detail of my day." Richie laughed at Eddie getting all flustered and allowed Eddie to help him through the window- if he climbed in himself he'd ruin the whole desk under the window, he was so lanky and clumsy, and if Sonia heard anything she'd be up in an instant, worried Eddie fell over or something. So Richie had to be silent when sneaking in. Eddie's room was insanely clean- like Stan standards of clean. Eddie's bed was perfectly made, his desk way too organised and his wardrobe, that for some reason was open, had the clothes arranged by color. Richie couldn't keep a room this clean for two seconds- not even Eddie's. Once he was through the window and off the desk he dropped his school bag on the floor an took off his shoes, leaving them on the floor too.

"Richie! Don't just leave your stuff everywhere!" Eds was fucking adorable when he was all irritated like this.

"Why? It's fine Eds," Richie collapsed onto Eddie's bed, only slightly trying to annoy his tiny boyfriend.

"Richie!" Eddie was trying not to shout- so resorted to that whisper shout, which just made him even cuter, but Richie did start to feel a bit bad.

"Fine," Richie sat up and put his bag near to Eddie's and moved his shoes next to his bag, "better?"

"Thank you, now... What are we going to do?"

"No clue, I'm going to get changed though, jeans get so uncomfortable after a while," Richie went to his bag and grabbed his sweat-shorts and hoodie before stripping off into his underwear.

"You're just getting changed in front of me?!"

Richie turned to look at Eddie, still only in his boxers- causing Eddie to blush slightly, "Ed's I've had my tongue down your throat, you'll survive having to look at me in my underwear. Plus- you said you'd fuck me." Richie smirked as Eddie blushed even more.

"Beep-fucking-beep. You're so fucking annoying."

"You love me though," Richie started as he pulled his hoodie on and walked over to Eds, "And I love you too."

"I don't know why, but I do," Eddie walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out a hoodie that Richie recognized as one of his old ones, on Eddie the hoodie hung down to his knees- as it was one Richie bought to be oversized on him. Somehow Eddie just kept getting cuter, "You're adorable Eds," Richie blurted- thinking out loud.

Eddie just walked over to Richie and hugged him, Richie'll never get used to Eddie's hugs. It felt so perfect, it was great. He hugged Eddie back as Eddie whispered, "I really do fucking love you, Richie."

"I love you too Eds-"

"No, but like... Richie we've been through so fucking much and now you're happy and I- I just. I don't know... I'm in fucking love with you."

Richie was quiet for a second as he could feel his eyes become slightly watery, he loved Eds so fucking much. Since they were kids really, when he would go out of his way to walk next to Eddie or sit closest to him, when he'd always think to go to Eds with is problems if he really needed something, when he'd constantly try to impress him. And now as boyfriends, despite only being 16 knowing Eddie was all he'd ever need. It was cheesy as fuck, but he was in fucking love.

"I'm in fucking love with you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg it's done :(  
> I hope the ending isn't too underwhelming, I probably rewrote it 100 times tbh.  
> It feels so weird that this is over, it's my first ever fic and I'm actually proud I managed to finish it??  
> But anyways, maybe I'll revisit it with a sequel in the future, who knows.
> 
>  
> 
> But if you do enjoy my writing and would want to read more you should read my new fic 'The Unlucky Seven' it's a foster home fic with lots of Reddie, of course. And a little bit of Stenbrough :))  
> so yeah, here's the link to that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15816309/chapters/36818073

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is my first fic, I hope you like it!  
> I'm complete Reddie trash however when reading fics I find they're almost always Eddie's POV with him struggling with his feelings towards Richie- so I figured I'd write a more Richie centered one!  
> Also my knowledge on the American school system is limited as I've only been to elementary school there, I moved to England before middle school, so please correct any mistakes I'm positive I'll make <3


End file.
